Eros Platform logo

Taking Care of Me

by Chandra Bloom

I’ve always had a gift for bringing people together. As a yoga instructor living in Los Angeles, and throughout my life, I’ve excelled at creating community and holding space for all kinds of people. I'm a teacher and a nurturer. I bring warmth and love to other people, but it hasn’t always been as easy for me to hold a space for myself and tend to my own needs.

Single Motherhood

In my early 40s—after a lot of rich experiences, workshops, and travel—I found myself as a single mother with a very young daughter. I’d had many relationships, all of which tended to last two or three years before they slid downhill. I felt stuck in that pattern. Yet after my daughter’s father and I split up, I had no time or space for a new relationship. I had a toddler and a busy career and could barely find time for myself, much less another romantic interest. 

A few years earlier, at a workshop at a meditation retreat center, a friend had mentioned to me that he had a practice that involved clitoral stroking. It went right over my head. I said absently, “Oh, yeah? That’s cool.” I barely paid attention and didn’t think twice about it.

But now, as a newly single mom, my radar was out. So, when a friend posted a link to a TED Talk about Orgasmic Meditation, I watched it with rapt attention. And my jaw fell to the ground. I realized it was the same practice that my friend at the retreat center had told me about. And I knew in my gut that OM was going to be something very important in my life. 

Healing and Acknowledgment

Searching around on social media, I found some people who practiced OM. One of them was a guy who lived in my neighborhood, and I invited him over to meet and eventually to practice together. My first OM felt right—I wasn’t nervous, and I didn’t have any hang-ups about pulling down my pants and spreading my legs. It went well, and he became my consistent partner in this practice. He was the right person for me at that time because he was committed to showing up and practicing with me. 

Pretty quickly, I was OMing every day. Sometimes twice a day or more, if I could swing it. I made it a priority to schedule OMs when my daughter was in preschool or with her dad. 

I had profound experiences with OM right away. The noticing step was very healing for me because I have a pretty severe childbirth tear on my genitals. I got a lot of acknowledgment about it through noticing, and it was psychologically helpful for me. After my daughter was born, no one looked at my genitals, and I felt like I'd been disfigured. The noticing helped to dispel that.

Through consistent practice, I felt very free and full. I started from a place of feeling depleted, and years of doing multiple OMs most days of the week built up reserves of energy and strength. I felt very nourished.

OM is a brilliant practice. It has a physiological impact on your whole body. It energizes your circulatory system—in the same way that when we work out, our lungs and our heart get a workout. And OM is straightforward and goalless.

Relationship Transformation

Through practicing OM, I met the man who has been my partner for the past 8 years. I broke out of the pattern of the two- to three-year relationship, and OM created a foundation for communication and intimacy that continues to sustain us today. 

There’s a connection created through OM that is unlike any other. I noticed it with my first OM partner. I wasn't interested in a relationship or sex, but he and I became really good friends. We developed a deep connection around the practice, and that was totally new for me. The same thing happened with a lot of my strokers. You develop connections that are really beautiful.

One of the biggest gifts of OM has been the ability to relax the tension of holding myself in a protected state. Before OM, I felt like I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop. Letting go of that vigilance, dropping into every OM, and being completely available for that experience were massive gifts. 

Related Stories
Surrendering to Simplicity
by Nikki
I've had a lot of different jobs in my life—fast food, retail, pizza delivery girl. I sold Mary Kay beauty products, and I work... see more
4 min Read
Restoring My Sensitivity
by Jo
I had been abstinent for about a month when I came across Orgasmic Meditation. I had grown tired of the nightclubs, of the drug... see more
3 min Read
Pain Doesn’t Mean Bad
by Edwina Finch
I found an advert for Orgasmic Meditation on a spiritual singles website in 2012, and I knew I wanted to try the practice. I ju... see more
4 min Read
The Gift of Being Uncomfortable
by Quantum
I crave intimacy, being awake in this life, and connecting with the generosity of the human spirit. The question for me has alw... see more
6 min Read
Surrendering To Have It All
by David
The last 12 years of my marriage were very strained because of my business and other obligations. I became more and more hidden... see more
5 min Read
The Art of Paying Attention
by Sean
I remember this particular day years ago. I picked up my wife's kids from school, gave them a snack, and started making dinner.... see more
5 min Read
A Sudden Rush of Wellbeing
by Bernie
I struggled with depression when I was a young man. I guess you’d say I was a nerd when I was in school; I was very good at mat... see more
5 min Read
Connection is a muscle I strengthen through OM
by Hannah
My fiancé and I found out about OM at a women’s retreat in the woods. I resonated with the container of the practice, the struc... see more
4 min Read
My Restless Leg Syndrome Became Manageable
by Ed Maran
I first heard of Orgasmic Meditation (OM) through my girlfriend. When she asked me if I would be interested in learning the pra... see more
4 min Read