by Chandra Bloom
I’ve always had a gift for bringing people together. As a yoga instructor living in Los Angeles, and throughout my life, I’ve excelled at creating community and holding space for all kinds of people. I'm a teacher and a nurturer. I bring warmth and love to other people, but it hasn’t always been as easy for me to hold a space for myself and tend to my own needs.
In my early 40s—after a lot of rich experiences, workshops, and travel—I found myself as a single mother with a very young daughter. I’d had many relationships, all of which tended to last two or three years before they slid downhill. I felt stuck in that pattern. Yet after my daughter’s father and I split up, I had no time or space for a new relationship. I had a toddler and a busy career and could barely find time for myself, much less another romantic interest.
A few years earlier, at a workshop at a meditation retreat center, a friend had mentioned to me that he had a practice that involved clitoral stroking. It went right over my head. I said absently, “Oh, yeah? That’s cool.” I barely paid attention and didn’t think twice about it.
But now, as a newly single mom, my radar was out. So, when a friend posted a link to a TED Talk about Orgasmic Meditation, I watched it with rapt attention. And my jaw fell to the ground. I realized it was the same practice my friend at the retreat center had told me about. And I knew in my gut that Orgasmic Meditation (OM) would be very important in my life.
Searching around on social media, I found some people who practiced Orgasmic Meditation (OM). One of them was a guy who lived in my neighborhood, and I invited him over to meet and eventually practice together. My first OM felt right—I wasn’t nervous, and I didn’t have any hang-ups about pulling down my pants and spreading my legs. It went well, and he became my consistent partner in this practice. He was the right person for me at that time because he was committed to showing up and practicing with me.
Pretty quickly, I was OMing every day—sometimes twice a day or more if I could swing it. I made it a priority to schedule OMs when my daughter was in preschool or with her dad.
I had profound experiences with Orgasmic Meditation (OM) right away. The noticing step was very healing for me because I have a pretty severe childbirth tear on my genitals. I got a lot of acknowledgment about it through noticing, and it was psychologically helpful for me. After my daughter was born, no one looked at my genitals, and I felt like I'd been disfigured. The noticing helped to dispel that.
Through consistent practice, I felt very free and full. I started from a place of feeling depleted, and years of doing multiple OMs most days of the week built up reserves of energy and strength. I felt very nourished.
Orgasmic Meditation is a brilliant practice. It has a physiological impact on your whole body. It energizes your circulatory system—like when we work out, our lungs and heart get a workout. And OM is straightforward and goalless.
Through practicing Orgasmic Meditation, I met the man who has been my partner for the past 8 years. I broke out of the pattern of the two- to three-year relationship, and Orgasmic Meditation (OM) created a foundation for communication and intimacy that continues to sustain us today.
There’s a connection created through Orgasmic Meditation (OM) that is unlike any other. I noticed it with my first OM partner. I wasn't interested in a relationship or sex, but he and I became really good friends. We developed a deep connection around the practice, and that was totally new for me. The same thing happened with a lot of my strokers. You develop connections that are really beautiful.
One of the biggest gifts of Orgasmic Meditation has been the ability to relax the tension of holding myself in a protected state. Before OM, I felt like I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop. Letting go of that vigilance, dropping into every OM, and being completely available for that experience were massive gifts.
