Published April, 2024
What Is the Mystical State and Why Is It Important?
Why Does OM Focus on the Clitoris and Finger?
The Container of Orgasmic Meditation
Orgasmic Meditation Is Not Sex
How to Learn Orgasmic Meditation
Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a structured, attention-training genital stroking practice conducted between two people who follow a predefined set of detailed instructions. By training the attention and harnessing sexual energy, OM provides practitioners access to mental and physiological states that promote Eudaimonia, the state of human flourishing.
These states equate to the same type of liberated mental states found in meditation modalities, flow experiences, and mystical experiences brought about by the use of psychedelic compounds. Among these, we have found OM to be the fastest, most reliable, safe, and sustainable way to this state and the associated benefits, such as clarity, a sense of oneness, and enhanced intimacy with life. Here, we describe the OM practice, its intention, structure, what OM is not, and how to learn the practice.
An OM practice session begins with a set of predefined steps that lead up to one person gently stroking the clitoris of the other with their left index finger for 15 minutes. For the duration of the stroking period, both participants place their attention on the point of contact between finger and clitoris while noticing what they feel. After the 15 minutes of stroking have elapsed, participants share a moment of sensation to integrate and digest the experience.
Orgasmic Meditation offers both participants access to a powerful state of mind using a sustainable, replicable, reliable, and relatively expedient method. Each step of the experience has been devised to provide safety and ease for both participants during the entire process. The outcome is a mental state that a growing body of scientific research suggests equates to a profound mystical distinction with a brain signature resembling that of meditation.
Orgasmic Meditation provides practitioners access to mental and physiological states that promote human flourishing. Science is discovering that arousal plus meditative contemplation produces long-term, sustained changes in one’s primary disposition that may both increase resilience and facilitate the conversion of traumatic experience into what has most recently been referred to as “post-traumatic growth.”
Current research on the healing effects of psychedelics is finding that entry into a mystical state is the key to the puzzle. The mystical state is associated with increased clarity, surrender, sense of oneness, and new perspective. Scientific research on OM indicates that one of the best ways to access a mystical state may be the pairing of sexual arousal with mindful concentration.
For example, a 2021 peer-reviewed, IRB-approved study examined the mystical experiences of 780 OM practitioners. Researchers found that 62% of practitioners reported having had a mystical experience during an OM. The power of these experiences were measured using a standard scale, the Mystical Experience Questionnaire (MEQ30). These results were measured against another study examining the effects of psilocybin mushrooms (Siegel & Emmert-Aronson, 2021).
Researchers found that participants ranked their mystical experiences in OM at the same level
of potency as did those who took the second-highest dose of psilocybin in that study. Mystical states are currently a hot topic of investigation in the scientific community as their healing benefits are becoming increasingly accepted and the substances that induce them are edging toward legalization across the country to treat symptoms of various conditions, including depression, PTSD, anxiety, addiction, and emotional numbness.
In another study looking at brain connectivity in participants who had practiced OM, Dr. Andrew Newberg, the Research Director at the Marcus Institute of Integrative Health at Thomas Jefferson University, observed that how OM affects certain regions of the brain more closely resembles brain patterns seen in meditation than sexual activity (Newberg, Wintering, Hriso, et al., 2023).
Newberg says, “As with these findings in sexual climax, the current study of the OM practice did show significant changes in functional connectivity in the cerebellum and orbitofrontal cortex in the males, but most of the significant changes in functional connectivity were not in areas specific to orgasm.”
In OM, the various combinations of variables—pressure, speed, length, direction, and location used to stroke the clitoris—are referred to as strokes, which we perceive in terms of tactile sensation at the point of contact between finger and clitoris. So, for example, you might find resonance with a firm, slow, medium-length, downward-inclined stroke on the left side of the clitoris for a period of time, and then you might find the connection again with a light, medium-speed, medium-length, upward-inclined stroke on the same spot a few moments later.
How does this happen? Unlike a violin, where the strings always produce the same tones, the tactile experience of stroking a clitoris is ever-changing. The clitoris is connected to the nervous system of a human being. It engorges, expands, and contracts, becoming firmer or softer, and changes dimensions and pliability throughout the experience, presenting an ever-varying tactile surface that can be felt by both partners while neither has any control over it. The practice rests on both participants, placing their attention on the point of contact where the clitoris meets the finger. In the same way that simply sitting and breathing does not mean you’re meditating, it’s the attentional aspect of OM—this staying present with a dynamically shifting object of attention— that puts the “meditation” in Orgasmic Meditation.
The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings—the highest number of any body part, compressed into an organ the size of a pencil eraser. Each nerve carries sensory feedback to the brain, and with this much sensitivity, the clitoris is primed for subtlety and feeling each nuance. The tip of the finger is the most dextrous part of the human body—the part with the finest motor control available. When these two body parts make contact, the potential for resonance is infinite. In OM, we practice attunement between finger and clitoris, learning to tune in our senses and pay attention to what we feel; for example, when to go faster and slower, when to be firm, and when to be gentle.
Practicing attunement in an OM lets us apply these skills to the rest of our lives, ultimately learning to meet anything life brings us with resonance.
The concept of the “container” in OM is fundamental to the integrity and effectiveness of the practice. It consists of a set of unchanging rules that define how the meditation is conducted. These rules include:
The prescribed steps of OM must be followed in order and without omission.
No reciprocation between participants, meaning each role in the OM is engaged solely for its own purpose without expectation or promise of any return or reward.
The stroking portion of the practice is always 15 minutes long.
The stroker remains fully clothed while the strokee is undressed from the waist down only.
The stroker must wear gloves.
The primary benefit of the container in OM is the role it plays in liberating the vigilant part of the mind from its typical duty of monitoring the environment for changes or disruptions. The mind looks out at an unpredictable, dynamic world filled with cell phone alerts, speeding cars, survival needs, and relationships and does its best to offer a protective solidity that can respond to any and everything we encounter. Any changes in the environment, such as unexpected behaviors from others or approaching sounds, could signal potential threats or require behavior adjustments.
The container flips the script by creating a consistent, predictable set of conditions we can trust to keep us safe each time we OM. Because the container is solid, consistently used, and clearly defined, we become free to be more dynamic ourselves.
Each element of the container is designed to address one or more aspects of our vigilant minds by removing the potential that something unwanted or surprising might occur. For instance, it offers a time limit to the stroking portion of the OM so we don’t have to think about whether it has gone on longer than we’d like it to. The container allows our mind to gradually release its alertness, freeing up a tremendous amount of attention.
Without the need to be alert for changes in the environment, the mental energy typically reserved for this vigilance can be redirected. Participants can refocus their attention inwardly, enhancing their awareness of their own internal experiences and the subtle interplay of sensations during the practice.
This shift away from external monitoring to internal observation allows for a richer, more nuanced engagement with the meditation. Participants can delve deeper into their sensory experiences and inner states, free from the distraction of having to adapt to unexpected changes. They become more attuned to the dynamics of the interaction with their minds and bodies, fostering a more profound experience.
Additionally, the container helps in maintaining the purity and focus of the practice. By preventing deviations such as romantic gestures or modifications to the prescribed format, it ensures that the core objectives of OM are not diluted.
Orgasmic Meditation involves genital stroking, which superficially resembles a sexual act, but the intention, step-by-step protocol, and neurological results clarify that OM is vastly different from sex.
First, people who practice OM generally do not view it as a sexual activity. This is supported by research from Siegel and Emmert-Aronson (2019), which shows that a sample of 220 practitioners overwhelmingly consider OM to be more akin to meditation than to sex. Their study highlighted that seasoned practitioners were even more inclined to view OM as a meditation practice (Siegel & Emmert-Aronson, 2019).
On the neurological front, OM exhibits brain activity patterns similar to those observed in meditation rather than in sexual arousal. Imaging studies by Newberg and colleagues (in preparation) found specific changes in brain regions commonly associated with meditation, such as the parietal lobe and parts of the default mode network, which are not typically active during sexual encounters.
The type of experiences reported by OM participants further emphasizes its nature as a consciousness practice. According to findings where participants filled out the Mystical Experiences Questionnaire (MEQ30), OM sessions often lead to feelings of mysticism, transcendence, and a profound positive mood, which are characteristic of deep meditative states rather than sexual activities (Siegel & Emmert-Aronson, 2021). Over 60% of participants in their 780-person sample experienced a “complete mystical experience” during an OM session as defined by the MEQ30. These results were measured against another study examining the effects of psilocybin mushrooms. Researchers found that participants ranked their mystical experiences in OM at the same level of potency as did those who took the second-highest dose of psilocybin in that study.
Moreover, OM may impact interpersonal connections differently than typical sexual interactions. Research by Prause, Siegle, and Coan (2021) showed that OM increases emotional closeness and positive emotions more significantly among non-romantic partners than among romantic ones.
Lastly, OM has shown promise for potential therapeutic benefits, especially for individuals with traumatic sexual backgrounds. Participants with high levels of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) reported increased sexual arousal and positive emotions following OM, a notable deviation from the typical negative impacts these individuals experience in sexual scenarios (Prause, Cohen, & Siegle, 2021).
In summary, while OM might initially appear similar to sexual activities due to its physical aspects, its primary alignment with meditation, both in intent and effect, clearly distinguishes it from sex. This distinction is well-supported by participant perceptions, a growing body of neurological data, and the quality of experiences during OM practices.
In addition to sex, other activities are clearly not OM. Due to the sensitive nature of the practice, we lay many of these out explicitly. When we OM, each partner overtly opts-in to holding the container described above and practicing good form. The “form” of the practice refers to how practitioners conduct themselves in and around the practice; for example, how we do what we do inside the container in terms of intention, behavior, and technique.
Falling out of the form is not always the same as breaking the container, though both matter greatly to the integrity of the practice. Deliberate or accidental, each practitioner is responsible for their actions in and education surrounding the container and form.
Here are some examples of what an OM is not:
Adding any additional steps or skipping steps of the predetermined steps of OM, such as massaging thighs during an OM, deliberately adding time to the 15 minutes, or skipping the grounding pressure step.
One partner taking on the position of “healer” or “therapist” during the practice, rather than both practitioners establishing equal footing.
Overt reciprocation—one partner deciding to OM with the other to get something from them later.
One partner being untrained and thus unaware of what an OM is and is not.
The stroker not being fully clothed or the strokee removing more than just her bottom garments.
Substances being used during the experience.
Romantic elements such as sexy lingerie, candles, gifts, or eye gazing as part of the experience.
Stroking anything except the glans of the clitoris.
Making sexual advances during the OM.
None of the above are an OM.
The intention used with the practice also determines the benefits one receives from it. While it’s technically possible to physically complete the practice steps, the intention is crucial. The following are examples of intentions at odds with the spirit of the practice that will eventually subvert any potential benefits of OM as its taught properly:
Deliberately stroking for the goal of climax.
Using the allure and/or offer of OM as a method of picking up sexual partners.
Using OM as a means of reinforcing a false sense of dependency on men or women.
The strokee moving her hips to get the stroke she wants.
Science on OM is now confirming what practitioners have known experientially for years. Research is showing Orgasmic Meditation can improve well-being, increase energy, enhance closeness and connection, and be a possible intervention for substance and mood disorders.
Some of the highlights from recent scientific studies include:
OM increases positive emotions while decreasing negative emotions, overall expanding emotional range. Researchers note this is rare as other modalities limit emotional range, such as anti-anxiety medications that are designed to reduce the intensity of fear, but may also reduce the intensity of happiness.(Prause, Cohen, & Siegle, 2021)
OM increases closeness and shows that closeness is not dependent on being in a relationship. In this way, OM allows people to practice and experience intimacy outside of a relationship. Practicing OM more frequently may lead to lasting effects of closeness. (Prause, Siegel, & Coan, 2021)
The practice generates a mystical experience without the use of any substances, and by this reasoning, scientists speculate that it may be effective in the treatment of mood and substance disorders (OM and MEQ; Siegel & Emmert-Aronson, 2021)
In addition to these scientific findings, both strokers and strokees report:
A greater experience of their own emotions and sensitivity
Deeper intuition and empathy
A sense of deeper connectedness with the world around them
Being more in touch with their bodies
Better communication in moments of high-intensity
Ability to better handle conflict
Feeling more vitality, energy, and free attention
Ability to break unhelpful interpersonal patterns and forge more functional relationships
These are just a few of the numerous benefits experienced by OM practitioners, and they represent some of the intermediate states that ultimately lead to Eudaimonic well-being, a life of human flourishing.
For those wishing to learn the practice, training in OM is available through the following channels:
Online, using the iOS app, ‘OM App: Partnered Meditation’ found on the iPhone app store, or at: InstituteofOM.com.
Through a live course taught in-person by OneTaste or an online course through The Eros Platform: ErosPlatform.com/u/What-Is-OM
Private coaching is offered by a certified OM trainer from the Eros Coaching Collective: ErosCoachingCollective.com
Note: Certified OM trainers will never be present with clients while clients are OMing. All training is done verbally and/or via fully clothed demonstration either in person or via telecommunication.
4. The Eros Sutras, Volume 3: Orgasmic Meditation, serves as a comprehensive resource for study in the practice of OM. This text can be used by those who are new to OM as well as by advanced practitioners looking to deepen their practice and dive into the nuances and subtleties of the practice, such as mastering the spots, speeds, strokes, and pressures.
5. The “Container & Form” document walks practitioners step-by-step through how to OM. This document can be found at ErosPlatform.com/container and also in the back of The Eros Sutras, Volume 3: Orgasmic Meditation.
The practice of OM trains the attention and harnesses sexual energy, catapulting practitioners
to heightened states of consciousness. From this place, we can access Eudaimonia or human flourishing. Orgasmic Meditation is the most effective way we’ve found to reach this state. Its structured container, emphasis on attunement and sensitivity in the body, and focus on one dynamic point bring out the strengths of meditation while also tapping into the power of sexual energy. While genitals are involved, OM is distinct from sex, and a host of benefits—such as clarity, oneness, and more intimacy with life and others—emerge for both participants.
