I’m the type of girl who always seemed to connect better with boys than with girls. I had this pattern where I lived to please women and looked to get validation from them, even if they didn’t validate themselves. I could handle emotional interactions and be empathetic, and I was very capable of nurturing and willing to be nurturing. Just not so much with women.
I've always had a softer spot for men. I can be more vulnerable and softer with men than I can with women, and that’s one of the things that Orgasmic Meditation really got me in tune with. At the same time, the practice helped me learn more about men's responses, wellness, and understanding. I think Orgasmic Meditation helped me develop a lot more empathy towards men. The practice and the way it’s conducted just kind of cleared the energy for me to understand them better.
The way I came to know about Orgasmic Meditation was through work. My husband and I own an online sex toy store. For some time, we have noticed that while women’s liberation is happening very strongly in the industry, most women still are not on board. They’re not very aware of sexual wellness or how they can improve their attitudes about men and sex and become more comfortable and trusting of their own bodies and open about their sexual desires and responses. Interestingly, for years, we saw a lot of men who were interested in sexual wellness and were eager to bring information forward to their partners. A lot of women are just kind of blocked when it comes to sexual intimacy, and men were eager to find avenues of discussion and possibility in that department.
My mindset is always oriented toward “How do I learn to help more people?” Considering how much women need help in the sexuality department, I was online one-day researching clitoral behavior. I ran across a bunch of information about Orgasmic Meditation. I had been told about OM in the past by some colleagues in the business and was already curious. So, my husband and I watched a series of videos about Orgasmic Meditation online. We totally got it and decided to do an Introductory class. Things just went from there.
One thing Orgasmic Meditation taught me was how blocked I personally was in certain areas. The practice really shows you your limitations. For me, particularly regarding my sexual wellness, I think what OM taught me the most about was desire and how I really tend to hold things in. My mindset is actually geared more like a man sometimes. And although I can certainly connect emotionally, I’m much more of a logical type of person. I'm very critical of women and thus myself. I’m also a little harsh around the edges. So, when it comes to women and how I interact with them, some women run away from me because of that. It’s hard for me to be soft with them and myself.
To be an emotional being, I had to drop that hard edge I had erected to protect myself. Orgasmic Meditation really opened that up for me. I learned to lean into a sense of vulnerability, which opened up more channels of expression for me with both men and women.
I think it also opened my eyes to how my relationship with my husband had changed and how we had become less connected since we got married. The whole dating period was all exciting and adventurous. It was great, but once we got married, it was all about becoming more responsible, living together, running a business together, and all that. The whole situation was financially challenging, and we were both literally pulling 16-to-18-hour days working on the business. We never really made time for ourselves. Life was all “heads down” and in the trenches, and we didn’t have as much time to connect as intimately as before. And we missed that.
Orgasmic Meditation really brought about that chance for intimacy between us again. We did the practice together for about seven months or so. And it certainly opened up a lot more conversation between us!
