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Playful & Slow, Without a Need to Rush

by Eduardo

To understand what my world was like before Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I must tell you that I grew up in Venezuela.  I don’t want to get political, but the situation in my home country went from bad to worse over the course of my growing up. Crime was rampant, and my city had one of the highest crime rates in the Western Hemisphere. As a result, my parents were extremely protective. I didn’t have many friends because I was rarely allowed to leave the house.  Every time I asked for permission to go see someone, my father would say, “Haven’t you read the news? It’s not safe.”  I spent a lot of my teenage years alone in my room.

Pick-up Artist

Years later, as an adult working in the city of London, I was still haunted by that upbringing. I wasn’t scared to walk the streets, but I carried with me a shyness and an awkwardness as a relic of how I’d been raised. I had a good job, but I had no friends. I couldn’t connect with people. I could go to parties and drink and chat, but that was as far as it went. I really wanted to meet women, but I had no luck.

I got desperate enough that I got into a thing called “pickup artistry.”  You read these books and watch these videos and hire these coaches, and they teach you how to approach women on the street. It was very popular, and they made it look so simple. It was just like a mathematical equation; they promised if you did things in the right sequence, women would want to go out with you. I was awful at it. I failed horribly. Part of the reason was that I didn’t like anything about it. The coaches kept wanting me to review scripts so that when a woman said A, I’d be able to say B and so forth.  I didn’t want something so mechanical and disconnected. 

I knew there had to be something else. 

Discovering Orgasmic Meditation

When I came across Orgasmic Meditation on the internet, it sounded more like what I was looking for: an intimate experience with connection at the root of it. I signed up for a workshop and was really intrigued, but my first actual Orgasmic Meditation experience started out as a total disaster. When I tried to position myself in the nest, I fell over. When I tried to get the gloves on, I broke the first pair, and then the second. I started to sweat profusely and kept apologizing. The woman I was with was as chill as could be. “It’s okay,” she said over and over, and I could tell she meant it.

It didn’t get better when we started. I couldn’t find the clitoris; I had no clue where it was. Over 10 minutes later, I finally found the spot and felt the rhythm of the stroke, and then it was done. I was still sweating, and still panicked that I was doing everything wrong. It wasn’t until I got out of the nest that I felt heat in my left leg. It wasn’t like a cramp or as if my leg had gone to sleep. It was the opposite; my leg felt warm, tingling, full of sensation. I thought to myself, This is super weird. Why am I having so much sensation? There must be something happening here. And that’s why I came back, despite the clumsiness of that first OM experience.

The more I practiced, the more sensation in my body I began to feel. Every time I OM, it’s like a shot of electricity that ignites my body. I actually feel more joy and more calmness. It took me a while, but I realized that my sensations were a direct result of my receptivity towards the adjustments women gave me. The more I responded to their requests, the more attuned I felt – and the more alive my body became. It was everything that pickup artistry wasn’t – it wasn’t just this series of rote scripts; it was a real-time connection that began with the body and spread everywhere. 

Deepening Connection In OM

I began to feel my body connected to the body of my OM partner. It wasn’t an intellectual thing. I wasn’t worrying about what to say or what they were thinking about me. I could get out of my head by focusing on what I was feeling at the point of connection, and the more I focused, the more I felt. It was as if our two bodies were feeling the same thing. That shared feeling is what allowed me to understand women. No book or video could teach me that.

I started being able to date at last. I could respond to what women were telling me. I don’t want to say I became a mind-reader because it’s not about minds. It’s about being able to connect to a woman and making that connection without expectations. I can be playful. That’s a big one; before I came to Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I was not only shy but also painfully serious around women. It’s amazing how much that’s changed. 

Transforming Friendships

My friendships have changed as well. I am not patient with small talk, and maybe I never will be, but that’s okay. What I have instead are a few really good connections with men and women I trust and like, and I know they trust and like me. This practice doesn’t just make things better with the people who practice with you; it impacts every relationship you have.

What I’ve come to appreciate most about Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is that there are no expectations. You get settled in the nest, you OM, you feel your sensations, and then you leave. There’s no confusion or awkwardness. It’s just two people doing this practice together. The practice is enough.

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