by Rachel Barry
I’ve found that Orgasmic Meditation is a perfect complement to the sacred practices that are central to my life. In those 15 minutes of stroking in the nest, there’s a certain stillness and expanded awareness that Orgasmic Meditation (OM) helps me tap into almost effortlessly. And you don’t have to be a virtuoso, as the practice is so accessible and rich with benefits, even if you’re new to it.
I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation (OM) from one of my girlfriends. I noticed that she looked especially beautiful and radiant, and it was because she was practicing OM. She told me how much the practice was doing for her life and how it opened her up, which made me curious. Yet, it was quite a bit later when I tried it for myself with my partner.
My first impression was that Orgasmic Meditation (OM) had elements of a sexual experience but was quite different. Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is about resting in stillness. During the stroking practice, a lot of energy moves through me, but I find a meditative place within it. In that sense, it’s a beautiful teacher.
I was also struck by how the practice is set up, which is unique because it has clear and precise steps. Without every little part of the Orgasmic Meditation routine, I wouldn’t feel as safe to drop into it. But I do, and I appreciate all the guidelines around OM that preserve its container. The men that I’ve practiced with all really stick to that structure.
As I progressed with OM, I found it fit beautifully into my life. My day can be hectic and full-on, and I’m always working with other people in charged situations. I often have an OM in the middle of my day, and the practice really grounds and centers me. It brings me back into my body. There is really no goal. There’s no expectation or striving to achieve anything. Just being is enough.
Before Orgasmic Meditation, I had often struggled to be still. The practice can open the door for people who can’t get into meditation easily. In the West, sometimes we try to meditate as people in the East who live in the mountains do, but since we run on so much adrenaline, it’s not feasible that, all of a sudden, we can sit in stillness and silence. It doesn’t work that way. With OM, you have a tool to help you get back into your body. And it’s an enjoyable way to learn.
As a person who has dealt with anxiety, I’ve found a lot of solace in Orgasmic Meditation. When I was going through a difficult time, OM would help get me out of my mind and back into my body very quickly. You can't not be in your body in OM. I’ve found that to be really potent when I needed it.
Another benefit that blew me away was how Orgasmic Meditation enhanced my communication. Like many women, I was the kind of person who didn’t want to offend. The practice involves requesting adjustments to your partner’s stroking so you learn to ask for what you desire. Maybe you want a faster stroke or a slower one, a lighter touch or a heavier one. With Orgasmic Meditation, you have permission to ask for adjustments as many times as you like, and your request will be listened to.
That’s a potent tool for women like me, who are taught from a young age that it’s not always okay to communicate what we like or the truth of how we feel. Orgasmic Meditation helps us find our voice and speak. For reasons like that, I recommend that a lot of my clients learn to OM as well. It's very beneficial for couples in particular because they get a chance to practice speaking honestly to each other, which can only deepen their relationship.
At the end of an OM, during the sharing or “frames” portion, I love hearing about what the experience was like for my stroker, too. Often, I’m in my own world during the stroking, unaware of their journey or what they’re going through. Sometimes, we find moments of connection—say, an electric current that we both felt at the same time. We’ll say, “I was right there with you.”
That’s when you realize that, even though it’s a meditation, Orgasmic Meditation is also about shared experience and connection. And it’s pretty magical.
