The Strength of Connection

by Aric Fedida

Western culture is, in some regards, tragic. We all live in our own house. We kind of know a neighbor or two. We meet when we walk the dog. We know each other's names and some history and where each other works. But that's it. There's no tribal community. There's no tribe. There’s no connection. 

This, I feel, is one of the worst things that has ever happened to humanity. As a result of this disconnection a lot of people are depressed without understanding why. They're depressed and don’t know what to do to feel better about themselves. 

Orgasmic Meditation satisfies a hunger for connection. It's almost like OM is medicine. Today, I understand when I lack connection and I can be proactive about going and getting it. When I'm out of balance because of lack of connection, I can rectify it. And I can rectify it with others. I can invite them on an adventure, get them reconnected with people and life, help them. 

Just as OM helped me.

I was born in Israel and lived for much of my youth with my grandparents and mother in Morocco. I witnessed many different cultures and types of people there. And it's not as some people might imagine. Moroccan women are very strong and very powerful and very aggressive. They rule the home and family. On the male side, my grandfather was patient, knowledgeable, gentlemanly and elegant. He showed me what it takes to partner in life and how it can be. When partnership functions properly, everybody’s happy. I got a lot of love, guidance, and mentorship from him.

When I ended up back in Israel with my dad it was pretty bad. He was mistreating my mom and making her feel horrible all the time. I left home as soon as I could. As a teenager I went into the Israeli Air Force and had some girlfriends here and there. I was also into esoteric subjects like healing frequency and energy and so on. I was curious about exploring all the dimensions of our existence, including human sexuality. I was also investigating meditation.

I moved to New York City and eventually met my first wife. I also learned about Orgasmic Meditation at the same time. It wasn’t something that interested her, so I filed it away as something to investigate in the future when the time was right. As it turns out, the time wasn’t right until after my second marriage had ended. By then I had two children and I spent much of my time helping raise them. But suddenly I had all this free time—days that I didn't have to be a parent. That’s when I found OM again and took a course. 

Orgasmic Meditation was definitely a huge eye opener for me. It showed me that lack of connection is an unhealthy and toxic kind of imbalance in society, and that the lack of connection between male and female and between the masculine and the feminine is probably one of the biggest problems humanity is facing right now. It's this silent diminishing force that people are not even talking about because it's so taboo.

My first OM I couldn't have gotten luckier. It was with an experienced lady who had been OMing for awhile and she already knew what the practice was doing for her.  I felt such a sense of privilege. She gave me confidence from the outset and the experience felt nice and warm. I set up a nest and we went through the steps. And it was so good we did another one. 

I felt really liberated. I felt like a door was open for me and I stepped through it. After your first OM, you're a changed person. It's like you gained this new perception about reality. Every OM is a bit different. But I can say they are all beneficial. It’s almost like it doesn't matter who you're OMing with. It's more how you're doing it.

All the fears kind of melt away and then the practice becomes more about trying to read your OM partner and understand where she is. To understand how to stroke. To read the different cues you get from your partner and then follow the cues. Hopefully, you do the right thing. But again, because there's no goal to OM, it's not like I'm not trying to get her to orgasm. That's not the goal. It's not part of the protocol.

The container itself is a breakthrough the way it's constructed. It helps you get all the anxiety out of the way. The container helps me be present in the moment enough to put all those things behind me and not think about it. And when I’m totally present, this satisfies the hunger for connection. 

I look at friends and where they are and the problems that they have. And I can see that they’re lacking intimacy and connection in their lives. Orgasmic Meditation has made me incredibly sensitive. I’m very aware of connection or the lack thereof, and the level of the connection that’s in play. I know the strength of the connection to my kids. And because I'm aware of it, if something is even mildly off, I can take steps to fix it. Just the other day I was telling my girlfriend, “I need to spend a bit more time with my son, just me and him.” I knew we needed that one on one. And I don't think I would have been aware of that before. So this is where the practice of OM starts to spread to other areas of your life. You start to feel it with friends and family and so on. It's no longer just about my connection with a woman. It goes far beyond that.

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