The Door to the World is Within Me

by David Bridger

I grew up in a family with three brothers and no sisters, and I went to an all-boys school. Through my teens, until I got to university, I had almost no female contact, so I was clueless about how to connect with women. I also had attachment issues, which I didn't know about at the time. As a consequence, getting close to a woman always triggered upsetting feelings. Many times, I actually ran away when an intimate moment was about to happen. I came to believe I couldn't have that kind of connection. 

At the age of thirty, I married, and my wife and I had no sex life at all. When we separated, I had a series of relationships, in which there was a lot of sex, but the relationships were short-lived. I couldn't understand why they kept failing. Finally, I gave up and bought a top-floor flat, the modern equivalent of a hermit cave. 

After a couple of years, I was getting seriously lonely. An Internet search led me to OM. The idea of stroking a woman's clitoris in this manner just shocked me. I couldn't believe the practice even existed. It took me a few weeks to work up to finding out more. 

My first few OM sessions were emotionally overwhelming. My body turned to jelly, and I could barely move afterward. I was sobbing one minute and laughing the next. But stuff was changing inside of me. It was clear that my preconceived ideas about women didn't fit this new experience. 

I went on OMing, curious to find out where the practice would take me. For a long time, I couldn't understand the point of the step at the end where we share frames, each of us describing a sensation from the session. In order to have something to report, I realized I had to stay in touch with my sensations, but I didn't get why. My brain kept struggling to figure out what these feelings had to do with the OM and with my partner.

It took about a hundred OMs before I started to let go of the mental effort. Instead of trying to classify the experience, I learned to observe and enjoy the feelings. And then I understood that the sensations in my body were related to what was happening for my partner. 

Once I grasped this key fact, I noticed it also applied to my conversations with people. In the past, I'd always been in my head, trying to have an intellectual exchange and come across as smart. But if I paid attention to what was happening in my body, I was able to make a deeper connection because those sensations were resonant with the other person's feelings. 

My work was affected as well. When I ran workshops, I was proud of getting feedback that was seventy to ninety percent positive. But after OMing for a while, I received my first set of feedback that was 100 percent positive. I was more confident and more able to connect with my audience. Since then, it's stayed between ninety and 100 percent, because of what I learned through OM.

One day I OMed with a woman I barely knew. Despite knowing nothing about each other, the session was so powerful, I felt like a hurricane was blowing through me. If I hadn't done all the previous OMs, learning to open myself up, I wouldn't have been able to receive that energy. I could feel her, and she could feel me, although no words were spoken. At the end, I was shaking with the force of it. 

A few months later, we started dating. I experienced a beautiful, deep and powerful connection with her. Two years after our first meeting we were married. Now, as we learn together about our relationship and how to be intimate with each other, a lot comes up between us. We fight quite a bit because we are open and honest with each other, and each time we find the way to reconnect, and deepen our connection. We are always coming together, drifting apart, clashing and then we are back together connected again. It can be painful sometimes. There have been moments of deep misery, yet I have never ever been happier. We have a real, living, conscious and caring relationship, and I would not want it to be any other way.

OM has opened up a world of connection for me, a world I never knew existed. And the door to that world wasn't outside, it was within me, accessed through awareness of the sensations in my body. I want this kind of connection for everyone.

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