The Connection is Deeper than I'd Imagined

by Harry Renard

The first time I found out about OM I was on vacation in the United States. I was checking out different kinds of MeetUps, and ran across one about Orgasmic Meditation. When I got there the people were really nice, open and sweet really. Afterwards a bunch of us went out for drinks. Again, it was interesting and I could feel a connection with the people, but I kept wondering what’s so orgasmic about this experience? It was mainly dudes talking about OM and didn’t seem like a big deal. 

When I emigrated from Armenia and came to live in the United States a few years later, I was newly divorced and picking up the pieces of my broken heart. I was all beat up emotionally and just needed some love and some care. Slowly, I started getting myself back on my feet, and when I did I started to socialize online. Eventually I ran across another OM event. Except this time it was a real introduction to the practice. 

My first OM was interesting, but it was really awkward for both me and my partner. She said it felt like there was electricity coming from my fingers, like static electricity, and that it was kind of weird and uncomfortable for her. As for me, I really didn't know what to expect. It felt really awkward. I thought maybe I wasn’t doing it right because it was uncomfortable for her. Plus, it was uncomfortable for me as well because I’m really tall and it was difficult to get positioned. 

After that first OM I ended up starting a regular practice. For four months I OMed every week, once a week. Eventually I got into a flow. And when I did, I began to notice that every time I OMed I would feel really grounded. Ordinarily I’m a totally ungrounded person. I’m like a fireball, highly active with a lot of energy. Sometimes it feels like I'm up in the air floating. Feeling so grounded after OMing, feeling like I was standing on the earth, was really noticeable to me. 

At first I also felt like I was there for other person's pleasure, but not really getting much pleasure out of it myself. I wasn't sure what to make of that, but over time, I realized there was a meditation aspect that I hadn't noticed right away, but was able to tune into. Focusing on doing just one thing, at some point you forget what you're doing. You're so focused, it’s like you're not really all there. You're just on this one thing, with all your senses going into your finger, stroking and keeping the rhythm and trying to vibe with the energy field of your partner. 

At some point, OM became more about the connecting and less about anything else. It became about vulnerability and opening up and becoming aware of my partner’s energy. I remember there was this one woman who was extremely sensitive. No matter how softly I would stroke, it would be too intense for her, almost painful. I was barely even touching her, and she’d be saying “Softer, softer!” And all the while I’m thinking, “Softer? Any softer and I won’t be touching you!” But that wasn’t the point. It was what she needed. OM is so subtle, so much to do with your attention and intention.

I was always surprised to discover that the women I was most attracted to weren’t usually the ones with whom I’d feel the most connection during the practice. I realized it’s so easy to get hung up on your preferences, your mind tells you one thing, but then when you have the experience it's like a totally different experience. And that's what one of the things I really wanted to explore with OM.

Through that process I learned to be gentler and to have fewer expectations about what a woman needs. Every woman is really different. It’s a great practice for staying tuned in.

Related Stories
Unbroken
by Prayasi
I learned early on to mute my voice. I developed the habit of not speaking up unless I had to, or unless I felt really safe.  ... see more
7 min Read
The Best Me
by Freddy
I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, and spent my childhood playing many different sports. I love my memories from this time. Durin... see more
4 min Read
I Am More Soft, Open, & Vulnerable
by Agneta Sorenson
People see me as a conventional, polite, good-looking Danish woman. When I was younger, people would say things like, “Oh you’r... see more
6 min Read
Staying Open Through It All
by Francesca Blake
OM was not my first stop. What I mean by that is that I’d spent years studying self-improvement and self-awareness. There are s... see more
5 min Read
A Continued Regeneration
by Darlene Stoltz
My brother and younger sister had a lot of plans for their lives. After retirement they both planned to travel and do all the t... see more
4 min Read
I Walk With A Different Energy
by Marga
I am quite an emotional person. We're all emotional, of course. But whenever I experienced strong emotions and sensations, they... see more
6 min Read
Pain Doesn’t Mean Bad
by Edwina Finch
I found an advert for Orgasmic Meditation on a spiritual singles website in 2012, and I knew I wanted to try the practice. I ju... see more
4 min Read
Workaholic Shifted to Purpose
by Tim Everett
By the time I came to OM, I was really alone. I was a workaholic, and I hardly ever socialized.  The few friends I had had all ... see more
3 min Read
Staying With The Sensation
by Leslie Baran
I grew up in San Francisco. My parents divorced when I was young, and I lived with my mom. My dad was in and out of my life. Bu... see more
4 min Read
I Am A Feminine Person
by Blaire Cortilla
From the time I was little, I wanted to be close to women. I want to begin my story with that, because that’s tied into everyth... see more
7 min Read