by Alfio
I come from a very traditional background. I am a native Sicilian and have lived my whole life in the south of Italy. I come from a long line of macho men. The men in my family almost never admit when they’re wrong, especially about women.
I was different. All my life, I’d known I needed to understand women better. It wasn’t enough to love women; I needed to know what made them who they were. I needed to know how to connect with them. I didn’t want to be some sort of frightened servant to them either. I wanted to see them for what they really were. That wasn’t something I was going to learn in my family.
I ended up traveling all over the world, trying to learn more about women, sexuality, and – later – spirituality. The first thing that led me to Orgasmic Meditation came when I was taking a course on Tantra and Chinese astrology in Brazil, of all places. We were learning the erotic pressure points on women’s bodies and how they corresponded to the Zodiac. I remember being stunned by how pressing on a certain point could bring such deep pleasure and release this sense of well-being that could permeate an entire room. I realised I might not want to do this Tantra/astrology/acupuncture fusion, but this idea of combining touch with enlightenment fascinated me. I decided to look for similar practices when I returned to Europe, and that led me directly to OM.
I don’t think people always realize how radical it is what OM does. This idea that two people come together for a shared experience, and it's not a man doing it to a woman? That’s maybe the most revolutionary idea in the history of the world because it’s such a reversal of tradition. I don’t know if younger Americans can fully appreciate how powerful an idea this is. I’m an old Sicilian man who knows the old ways and how they endure. I know how hard it is for men to set aside their egos and their need to know everything. I know how hard it can be for men to really connect with women. I know because, even though I thought I was more enlightened than most, the actual practice of OM changed many things for me, all for the better.
I came to OM after years of studying other paths. I don’t think that’s necessary for everyone. You can spend forty years sitting with gurus and learn nothing, or you can walk into an OM workshop at 18 years old and have your consciousness blown right open. Obviously, I needed a lot of wandering before I found this, but there’s no need for anyone else to wait as long as I did.
I’m a landscape architect. I design gardens. OM has completely shifted how I do my work. Before I started practicing, I had this vision of how things should be, based largely on my aesthetic and my sense of what the land could hold – and what the client could pay! Now, I start with complete attention to the client, just as I start an OM with a complete focus on the point of contact. What are the trees, plants, and flowers I can use to help my clients realize a dream they may not fully articulate? In OM, the man needs to pay attention to the vocalized adjustments and the woman’s sensations and feelings so he can learn to read.
In my work as a landscape architect, I propose ideas and watch how my clients respond – just as I can adjust when a woman says, “a little to the right,” I can adjust when a client says, “I’d like more open space here,” or “more color there.” I don’t just consider what the garden will look like through various seasons; I calculate how the wind, rain, or heat will shift how it smells and sounds. OM is the ultimate immersive experience; a garden can also be an immersive experience when it speaks to all the senses. I’m good at what I do. I’ve always been good at what I do, but OM has taken me to the next level.
The most important thing about OM isn’t just the physical practice itself but the community of like-minded people I’ve met there. Communities can help you feel less alone, but they can also show you where you still need to grow. Videos are important, books are valuable, but there’s nothing like a community.
Even if you only connect with other people online because of the coronavirus or because you live in isolation, you must have a community. I have never found another community like the worldwide group of people that studies and practices orgasmic meditation. It’s not just that they are loving and supportive. It’s that they’re full of the most wonderful surprises.
