by Andy Chan
My family are Chinese, our religion is Buddhism, but it's less about religion and more about culture. We rarely share feelings, and sex is verboten. I was the youngest of four. I never felt heard. My father is quite stubborn and convinced he knows all things. Chinese culture demands respect and obedience for elders. That’s why I was shy, even at school.
I was a virgin. I like women, I’ve had tons of crushes on women, but never told them. For example, at work, there was one woman I liked for six years. I didn’t know how to approach her. I think I emailed her. It felt dumb.
When I first learned about Orgasmic Meditation, I was uncomfortable. I had never approached or tried to talk to women. I was pretty scared. I met some people who OMed, and they were vulnerable and easygoing. I have a hard time with vulnerability. I wanted to learn that skill, and I thought OM might help me feel more comfortable around women. I just thought it might be good to try something different, to see what happened.
I was nervous during my first OM. It was hard for me to find the spot. I had never seen a woman’s genitals before, and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t understand upstrokes or downstrokes or anything. I had no idea what they meant because I could not feel anything.
If there is one step that has been most helpful for me in the practice, it would have to be adjustments. I liked them at first because I did not know how to do anything. I’ve never understood why some men don’t welcome adjustments. I always found them useful. I don’t know everything about women’s bodies.
Now that I’ve been OMing for a few years, I definitely think it’s easier to approach a woman I’m interested in. It’s just as if I’m asking for an OM. I’m still afraid women will judge me, but OM has helped with my shyness. When it comes to relationships, I’m so much better one-on-one. That works better for me.
While I still have work ahead of me, in general, I’m trending upward. OM has made me better at work. At first, I was working with tech teams. Gradually, over time, I earned more responsibilities. I tried different roles in different areas. Eventually, I lead a few projects. There I was, talking to my team, giving them their assignments. Before OM, I would never make suggestions to the boss. I’d follow his lead. Recently, I was able to give the benefit of my good counsel. I’m more vocal during morning meetings. And I even asked for a promotion. Didn’t get it this time, but I did make the request.
The practice has helped me gain the confidence to make those first moves toward people. I look forward to continued progress.