One of the greatest challenges we face in heightened energy fields—and sexuality is such a field—is an intensified tendency to experience rejection, delusion, and rationalization. The key is to ask ourselves questions that will illuminate where we are engaging in sex as a means to reinforce conditioning and where we are engaging as a way to liberate the sex impulse in service to power, especially for women.
Since the whole experience of unconditional sex is a practice, so too is investigating her motives and intentions. If she has not built a solid anchoring feedback loop through OM, she will likely find the heightened energy has her—dependent on her primary tendency—get stuck placing excess attention on either the other or on herself. She sees her tendencies magnified. The intention of the practice of unconditional sex is to have the dense concentrations of tumescence in these areas run all the way through to clear.
This is not an easy or inviting undertaking. It should be taken on only by those women who feel genuinely called to it. She likely will have avoided it, tried all the other solutions she can think of, but come back to this with certainty that it is her only way through.
She must set a period of time that she will engage in the practice, fully, no matter the conditions and without decreasing activity. A minimum of one year is suggested without securing a relationship. Should she choose to come back to a potential relationship after, that is fine, but not within the time frame of the practice.
If she does not go through the process entirely, she will be more prone to the conditioning she was looking to dismantle than before she started. It will now have massive additional power, and her potential for delusion—and more critically, justification—will be great.
She will be working with the most potent energies on the planet, specifically the sex impulse (power) and attachment (love). She will be doing this in an effort to have both run clear so that something deeper and unconditional can move through her.
What is stuck in the lines—her propensities that block unconditionality—will become stronger and more concentrated on their way out. There will be a desire to stop there, to turn down the power. It will feel like a compulsion that she cannot not respond to. She will want to withdraw from the process and secure what she has made dynamic. Her mind will make her promises that the power will continue, that she will continue to feel this radiant and have this level of connection with a partner.
Not only will she not, but where there was true power, there will be anxiety, grasping, desperation, compensation, and justification as the flow decreases. She will become reactivity itself, as the conditioning is so radically powered without continued flow.
Heed this warning: The mind will tell her she can handle it. The only thing that will sustain her is the vow she makes when entering. It's like taking thirteen out of a regimen of fourteen antibiotic pills, and the infection comes back even worse. This is what will happen if she does not see the process through. It is worse than not starting the process; she will now be run by her conditioning. Her only option to not end up worse off than where she started will be to turn the power off entirely and drain out what she has built up.
It is vital that she keep to this agreement for several reasons. The first is that she is liberating tremendous energy in this process. The power of her call will be off the charts. This is what she wants—to radiate energy out fully without having to direct it toward any one person.
In fact, one of the things women are working through is their tendency to sell out this radiance in order to secure love. Her radiance is power radiating through her call. Be warned: She will be able to call people in a way she never has before. It can be easy to "settle." There are parts of her that never felt attractive enough, never able to draw in what she desired, parts of her that were hurt and abandoned. She may suddenly receive more and better than ever before and may be tempted to stop there. It is a trick of the built-in response of her conditioning.
The difference between this inconceivable good and true freedom is different by orders of magnitude. If she completes the process of unconditional sex, she will look back on what she considered to be jewels and realize they were rhinestones.
In this compression, she is being made into a diamond that will appreciate all that came before, with a deep reverence and deep love, and will have not a single thought of wishing to return to the things she once could not live without.
A woman engaging in the practice of unconditional sex is trudging through her tendency for her every thought and action to be dictated by the unrealized hunger for relationship, and the ensuing reactive rejection of it. Women vacillate between an enmeshed form of relationship and an armored denial of it. As a result, she vacillates between using her call to secure love, attention, and external fortification of self, and a boundaried determination to be self-reliant. She uses the sex impulse in the former and turns it down in the latter. She only knows its full, turned-on expression in relation to others.
To "liberate the impulse," then, is to live in a state of radiating this power unconditionally, not in relation to any outside force. She learns to be skilled in varying its power, making it solid and healthy as a field that radiates with an open simultaneity and purity, absent the "conditioning" that would distort her power to attract unwanted attention.
When her power radiates without obstruction, it becomes life-giving to those around her. As it flows through her, it continues to cleanse her heart and senses, conferring a sense of joy. The same arousal and joy a woman feels in relation to one who fits her conditions, she now feels at all times toward the whole of life. The feeling of being lit from within becomes her primary state. From here—and only from here—does woman have volition with her power.
As the power turns on, a whole life's worth of sediment will rise from the depths. This sediment will threaten to clog the lines. A most counter-instinctual instruction is to turn up the unconditional sex rather than turn it down.
Turn it up when there is shame, self-doubt, the sense that she is not attractive, that she is dirty, that this is disgusting, that she needs to restore her purity, that she has too many energies in her body, that she is too old, too much, or too reactive. Remember, it gets more concentrated as it is making its way out.
She should rest only when clear, when she is radiating, otherwise she will secure the "clog" and it becomes that much more real in her mind, and therefore that much more challenging to start again.
She will get her feelings hurt for several reasons. First, women lacking in power lack resilience—precisely because she has not unleashed the power to be resilient. This is the work to fortify her feelings so that she does not need to, as many women do, bolster those feelings with rights or by concretizing a victim identity.
The end result of unconditional sex is that she has liberated the attraction aspect of herself such that she attracts what she desires from others rather than demands it in action or in word. When something she wants does not appear, she sees it as an opportunity to turn up her attractiveness, not a right that has been impinged. This is what a woman owning the power of her call looks like. She asks herself, What can I do to attract what I most deeply desire?, lets go of what does not appear, and is grateful for what arrives. When something does appear, woman, seated in her power, can be with it in such appreciation that it can remain with ease.
Until then, she lives in a girl's emotional world where the people around her walk on eggshells, both unable to gratify her and in fear of her reactivity. Unconditional sex evolves her into a woman who is not only not reactive to the power that flows through her, but whose field is so strong and stable that it calms reactivity. If she stops midway, this reactivity gets locked in place.
Second, she will get her feelings hurt because she will be in a sensitive environment and most people have no training in sensitivity. Here is a great place to practice unconditionality. Where there is a desire to close or block, her power now allows her the volition to practice opening further, drawing in, inviting, and seeing what happens. It is a power she is not trained in because it is specifically a woman's power.
She is trained to block or hit, but not to absorb and convert. This will be her ultimate tool as a woman with power. To love in the face of difficulty in the masculine paradigm is seen as weakness, and the process of drawing in further is entirely misunderstood, but a woman's body is built for this—literally to draw in.
It is also important to be honest with herself so she does not activate the feminine conditioning that would try to make or fix or try to get others who are unavailable, are an overt "no," or are beyond her capacity to accept inside and properly convert to love. It is not an obligation; it is an opportunity to practice power.
If she is truly being rejected, though, she goes no further. But she does well to look at her expectations and ask if she is actually being rejected. Is she offering herself ? Is she being attractive or is she grasping or demanding by force? Grasp and demand lock others out. Does she have unspoken grips or expectations that she assumes that because they are unspoken, others cannot feel?
In the face of perceived rejection, the mind can turn up the feeling of insufficiency, saying that she will not get hers. Remember, she is clearing out all the blocked lines inside of her so she can radiate an attraction that will draw in what naturally feeds her, and repel what does not.
Then she will know what is hers beyond her conditioned cravings, and she will draw it in rather than force it or desperately wait and hope for it. She will not have to sell her soul for what is hers. She will not have to be anything other than what she is. In fact, she will be required to be the entirety of herself.
Unconditional sex is aimed to power the process of revealing who she is and making way for it to express fully.
Radiating her power with equal and simultaneous expression is in direct contradistinction to the female sexual conditioning to secure one person and focus all attention there.
A key way to counteract this is to secure relationships with women. She will need several women to act as her sentinels, women she imbues with her trust, whom she will listen to, and who can tell her when she is getting locked in conditioned patterns. This is vital since those conditioned patterns are likely to set her perspective askew. She will be in the field and she will need friends with an aerial perspective to guide her through it.
Female relationships—sisterhood—are a key aspect of the Erotic world. Sisterhood provides a network of exchanged energy and sanity that comes in to stabilize the process a woman goes through in opening her channel of power. It is not recommended that she try this alone.
With the same level of awareness she needs to enter the process, here is a warning that she will need to listen and follow the guidance of her sisters. She tells them her intentions, her guidelines, her tendencies going in, and then empowers them to hold her to that. She will experience a kind of intoxication in this process. She will want designated drivers, and it is her responsibility to ensure they can do what she asks them.
A woman in the throes of unconditional sex, learning to work with power, attractiveness, and attachment, can be difficult, unruly, and obstinate. It is not her sisters' job to control her; they are friendly reminders. It is her job to make theirs a positive experience. It is her internal world on the line, not theirs.
This has the potential to shift her relationship with women forever. In a world where women separate and compete, to allow herself to be so reliant on other women and to share the experience of gaining a woman's liberation is an incomprehensibly powerful experience. It sets a foundation for a world of conferred power among women. And this potential, not seen through to its end, instead secures the former suspicious, separate, competitive, and demanding qualities in place. This is a high-risk, high-reward arena.
She will need to be clear on her values and standards going in and that she does not lower them or deviate—not necessarily in terms of her partner, but in terms of what she will and will not allow. She wants as few rules as possible, but the rules she has she wants to stick to religiously.
She is building trust with herself. She does not want to risk her life or her health or her self-esteem. When she violates her own values, there can be a self-loathing that arises that makes it challenging to continue. The best thing to do following each practice session is to talk to a sister, give her a highlight or a frame, something she learned about herself, a place where she experienced a challenge, and if there were any internal violations.
It is good to get it all out while it is "warm," before it cools and sets. It also secures her relationship with another woman during a time when there is the greatest potential to rework female conditioning.
An incredible boon is that she gets to experience women in a whole new way. She can allow herself to be moved, to appreciate, and to be drawn by their specific expression of beauty. It is as if, without this filter of competition and comparison, half of the world's beauty is available for her to receive.
As she claims ownership of her own womanhood and takes a seat among women, her grace and power becomes something that directly benefits us. We want her to have as much as she possibly can because it is for us; it is for the world we inhabit. It is with us.
When she has her call "on" in this way, she can receive what she once blocked. This shifts her relationship with both women and men.
It is best to set a time for the duration of her practice and to stay within that time frame. Again, she is developing trust with herself. More importantly, going over the time frame is a signal to her conditioning that it has power.
She can set up another time that is not within the practice context to be with a partner, but if she goes over time, it will probably slip into a conditioned or romantic context and out of the practice context designed specifically to dissolve her conditioning.
Who she is inside of that container is a practice in who she is as a woman. It is key that she practice outside of her preferences because she is developing the feminine quality to draw the brilliance and beauty from anyone and to equally bestow radiance on everyone. She is working through the spots where she puts conditions on that process and where she relies on the world of appearances or others to do it for her.
Women often view themselves as slaves to scarce options when, in reality, they are slaves to preferences. Without an abiding sense of self, she will make her romantic partner an extension of who she is, an extension of her ego that she "wears" to demonstrate her worth. Her preferences define who she will and will not open to and are determined by where she places her worth. A woman with high worth can afford to open for anyone. She has the secret key: She recognizes that a woman with enough power can see through all appearances to essence and uncover beauty anywhere.
The impoverished woman must rely on status or appearance to determine who she opens to; she must have the masculine trophy. More often than not, she will want the ready-made partner—someone other women desire— for two reasons.
The first is she is reliant on the consensus opinion, and a man wanted by other women is the equivalent of a designer fashion label. The second is that while women rarely recognize it, they need connection with each other. It will happen passively or actively and a woman of lower power will relate to the energies of other women through a man. He will be like a cell tower where all their signals meet.
As a woman progresses in power, she progresses, too, in her capacity for art and creativity. She generates turn-on from seeing what her power can reveal in a man outside her preferences. With enough attention and approval and power from a woman, anyone can be revealed as attractive. There is something intimate and rich about connecting with another in this way.
She is forced to know their essence first and then carve away what is not that essence. Without putting that precision blade to work, most women withdraw energy, punish, and leave their partners unsure and paranoid about what they did. A woman's true gift is to draw the essence of others forward and carve away what impedes it. This is her creative power at work. Not to fix anyone—that is the low-powered version—but to reveal. Any essence expressed with congruency, well-powered, and fully revealed is irresistible.
If she starts with a partner whose essence has not been revealed in the world, the devotion developed is deeper than were she to choose a partner who has already had this type of attention from many women. This is work that can only be done with power. Power imbues patience and lack of agenda, not trying to mold another into her conditioning, but revealing their true nature and birthing their essence into the world.
There is another fallacy that a woman can have too many energies put on her, that others leave imprints in her body. This is true if she has no heat or power. But if in fact her heat and power are turned on, she will want to draw in as many of these forces as possible to create a truly diverse interior system, burning off the impurities and keeping the key essences.
This requires that women develop the core of all Erotic practice: her inner hearing. She is listening for the precise point of entry into this human being in order to uncover the spot of connection within herself and open there.
She is using this experience to open various channels. It may be that submission is called for, or darkness, or expression in sex. She has to feel into the strong suit of the other's essence and how to tap into that place, then open that channel within herself.
For the most part, if she does not tune in to his essence and draw out that individual's specific flavor, the response will switch to a performance on autopilot—generally, for those who are masculine, a mechanical, physical, rather fast and hard form. Only someone who has opened a channel with this person can shift this.
What a woman without this capacity ends up doing is tolerating, enduring, or lowering her standards. Or shutting down and closing off. The spot of connection is the place in between. The most effective way to discover it is to listen—as she has through OM—to her partner's body and to her own. Her default is often slow and gentle, and tends to seek out a more energetic experience than the more physical one of the masculine. Neither on its own will get her into unconditionality.
The woman who does not follow these instructions and who aborts her process will find her power diminishes rapidly. She may do this by giving into the feminine anorexia conditioning that provides subconscious justifications for not completing the path, finding herself in a period of sexual inactivity. She will have a variety of reasons for this. It may be that she does not have a partner. It may be that she is digesting experiences she has had. It may be that she is physically unable.
It is important she consider the intention around this period of abstinence, to note if it is due to her not completing the path. It may also be, in rare cases, that she has seen her way through the process of unconditional sex until the water runs clear and she is extending the experience outside of the skin.
Another way she may abort her process is by attaching to a partner. A strong and immediate grasp sets in with the one she has attached to, while simultaneously facing challenges with other women. She may have a feeling of anxiety and of being less attractive, likely more than she experienced prior to beginning the journey.
She will want to blame the process, but she must remember: It is the result of stopping midway through the process of liberating herself from her conditions.
At this point, she will need to drain out and likely not engage in sex for a good period of time. The temptation will arise to go back in just enough to simply feel better and she will begin to misuse sex as an anesthetic. This is not wise or she may lose access altogether to what could potentially free her.
As she abstains from sex, the approach in Eros is for women to create radical connections with other women to build trust and a feedback loop and so that, should she return to sex, these connections will act as her foundation. And should she choose to continue abstaining, these connections will keep her in the energy exchange that produces a woman's power.
As she increases in power, her habits will likely have her want to return to sex and relationships. Her mind will tell her it is the only place to get some needs met. That is true. However, in the practice of unconditional sex, the intention is not to have her needs met; it is to open channels.
This work is as vital as the work of having needs met; however, that work without this work set in place is a dangerous endeavor. Archetypes exist in all of us, with multiple genders. Those yearnings from the invisible can be met by anyone as she recovers the sanctity of her sex. She is not being abstinent per se, but building the solid foundation she would need to reengage with the honor and respect this domain deserves.
In this process, she will likely see the power she was playing with and the virulence of the conditioning that courses through every woman. There will be those who say that opening up channels is too much, "I just want a partner," "I just want to be happy." Unconditional sex is not for them.
But for those women who are done being at the mercy of their powerlessness, who want to engage in the sometimes-perilous practice of liberation, there is no more potent way.
