We all have a hexing friend, whose mere existence bothers us because they are living into their potential while we are not. We are hexed in the places where we justify our behavior, knowing we are not moving toward our own potential. We watch our hexing friend thrive, each day getting brighter, while we grow darker in direct proportion to their brightness.. The fact that we are growing darker, has us grow even more despondent, recognizing that not only is this friend thriving but they are paying us little to no mind. We know if they were in our shoes, they would likely have a more resourceful solution.
In the brightness of their light, our pettiness is highlighted. Even their graciousness is hexing. We grow smaller at the thought of them, finding ways to avoid them at all costs. We try a whole host of things. The nature of nature is that opposite poles will always try to harmonize, and so in various ways, we may try to overtly and covertly bring them down to our level.
We may try to make our avoidance of them known with the hope of activating an insecurity in them that they did something wrong. We may attempt to raise ourselves up and bring them down with character assassination through gossiping with friends. We may make the suggestion that they are making us stay small because of their bigness. We may, with mercenary-like aim, pinpoint and highlight their insecurities. We may sabotage their efforts in ways seen or unseen. We may attempt to take their favorite things hostage, using these projects and people as a means of destabilizing them. We may withhold our gift of collaboration so they feel our absence, and then when they attempt to draw us back, milk their power. We may overly exalt or acknowledge them in the hopes of activating their ego with the understanding that pride goeth before the fall. We may play on their human kindness and accuse them of hurting us.
When we engage in any of these actions, we move ourselves away from the most salient potential for growth. Whether or not the person is aware of our actions, we know. We hate ourselves all the more for the ineffective medicine we attempt to employ because someone shined their light on a location where we hate ourselves. But the truth of light is that eventually it absorbs darkness. Were we to be humble enough to remain in the glow of that person's light, eventually it would turn the darkness of our self-hating spots into light as well.
We can look at life from the view of the tumescent mind, which tells us, "There is only so much, and because they have so much, mine is diminished." Or, we can take this view, "They have so much that the pain I feel is the signifier of what in me wants to grow and express and reveal. They have so much that if I contribute to them with true humility, I will open the lines between hearts and have access to the wisdom of the heart that can only be tapped into from the vulnerabilities that say, 'Your greatness inspires me. I do not yet feel great. The most greatness I feel now is to contribute to yours. As I do, I will come to know my own.'"
However, if we remember repulsion is attraction in disguise, we will realize the most hexing person is not the one who most torments us; it is the one who does nothing.
With the hexing friend, we can actually begin to practice the sympathetic joy we learn in OM. Through connection, we learn to have sympathetic turn-on through their success and with their success.
This is the secret of all great things. It is only ever the people who are willing to get on their knees who are ever lifted up. The choice is ours. We can look at whether or not the methods we employ now are moving us to greatness or if our scheming is disempowering us. We will receive more of whatever we offer our attention to. Offer it to greatness, whatever it takes, and we will become great. In fact, if we offer it to greatness, we already are great.
