Slow strokes are useful when a system is entirely free of tumescence. In this scenario, a slow OM — Orgasmic Meditation is the ultimate tool to enter, deepen, and gain precision in the various spots. A slow stroke is a wonderful way to tune into the nuances and depths of a sensation. If the space inside the OM has been properly opened—meaning there has been lift-off from the tumescent barrier—what we find is that in a slow stroke, we can sink in.
The deeper truths that are hidden in the body can rise up and reveal themselves in the space that is created in a slow stroke. Emotions and longings can have the time and space to rise from the depths, becoming dynamic, alive chords that blend in with the sensations of the body. We are able to touch more subtle aspects of sensation in these slower tempos.
While we use speed to enter a field of sensation, we use slowness to explore its texture, opening a conversation with it, letting it inform us in greater depth about the workings of its interior. So it is in this slowness that our felt sense becomes informed. Our mind is brought to a sensation and shown that when we push forward or pull back, tighten or soften, penetrate or draw in, the sensation shifts.
Through this feedback loop, we come to understand our inner workings as well as how to stroke and be stroked—not just at the physical level but within our interior world. We gain fluency in sensation that translates into being able to read the needs, hungers, and desires of the body.
In detumesced slowness—where the blockage to pure, direct, real-time feeling has been removed—we experience space outside the traffic jam of our thoughts. The mind has space to soften and to become supple again, rediscovering its permeability to life.
If, however, the body is in a tumescent grip, slow strokes only work to make one more comfortable inside that grip—because there is no threat of breaking through the barrier to the unknown. There may be a sense of great relief, but the relief is the rational mind’s relief that it got its way, got its speed, and is no longer threatened with Eros taking possession. The rational mind can now escape into the higher realms.
The addicted form of slow strokes is control. In this form, slow strokes become a demand, a means of controlling the flow of the Orgasmic Meditation — OM. Those who are addicted to control can only maintain control at slow speeds and will employ drastic measures to ensure Eros isn’t activated. They are in an uncomfortable state, like driving with feet on the brakes and the gas. They keep power down to a trickle the rational mind can manage.
Those who are addicted to control are unable to meet Orgasmic Meditation — OM with their body; the body carries with it the mind’s terror of being out of control. For them, the experience must all take place in the mind, where every move can be vigilantly watched. The rational mind cannot track anything above a slow speed. The grip of the mind has closed around the strokee and the stroker, rendering the stroker incapable of getting them out. It is a total lockdown.
If we received prior permission to break through tumescence using speed, now is the time. If we don’t, and have instead agreed to have comfort OMs, we employ a slower speed. If there isn’t an opening at this point, it’s suggested we stop the OM — Orgasmic Meditation. A person with a locked-down system, who continues to be stroked without conscious agreement, will experience being stroked as a violation despite having given consent and remaining in the nest.
If the strokee wants to continue, we can reset the container. It’s essential to underline that the strokee must give express verbal permission to continue being stroked, because one of the symptoms of a locked-down system is a sense of powerlessness—as she is, in fact, without power. Her power is locked down.
It is important to understand that when having a slow OM from a place of wanting control, we are never actually breaking into the Erotic zone where we can burn off tumescence. Orgasmic Meditation then becomes a system of pain management where nothing will improve; this is not the healing method of OM — Orgasmic Meditation.
Once again we have a decision to make. If we do employ the speed that will activate Eros and convert tumescence, are we willing to take responsibility for our experience? Repeatedly confirming consent with our stroker is also key; doing so holds the greatest potential to unlock a gripped system. However, the price of admission is full responsibility for the discomfort the strokee will face in the process.
Once our system is open, we are free to explore all speeds. Our body will engage with us in the play of call-and-response where we sense a desired speed and adjust accordingly. We will be able to “play by ear” instead of by basic need or habit. The body will become infinitely more agile in response and slow strokes will be restored to their purpose of opening and deepening our relationship with sensation.
