The subtle art of approval is central to the Erotic life. To genuinely approve, we must access the noble part of ourselves. This nobility has an infinite and unshakable largesse and generosity, and it thoroughly endorses what we encounter. We are joyfully engaged. We are hospitable. No matter who we are and what we do, we radiate the nobility of approval.
We are able to begin practicing approval only when we realize our own perfection. Otherwise, we are always discriminating—accepting this and rejecting that; we are always holding back, unreceptive. Everything must prove its worthiness, including ourselves. And so all our behaviors feel grasping or stingy because underneath them we’re scraping for our shred of this nobility, for this quality of approval that is already inside of us.
Approval holds the mind through its constant scan for danger and threat—the places the mind cannot yet see past the scary veneer to its essential nature. The sublime that exists in all things. But the sublime simply will not open to fear; it will only open and reveal itself to an approving eye. And we need the resources of the sublime to give us the acuity of perception that can show us how to move skillfully with Eros.
The approving eye allows the positive potential in all great things to flow. When it sees us, it extracts and draws out our hidden greatness. We often withhold approval, believing that to approve is to endorse poor behavior we wish to change when, in fact, it is the exact opposite. When you approve, you have control. Like turning into a skid, it is only when you open to the perfection of what you wish to change that change can occur. Approval opens us in such a way that we are able to accurately receive information about the world.
Approval is the key to building a resilient mind, a mind that understands when something has been labeled as “bad” we can develop the capacity to re-code in real time the habit that creates discord with what is.
This is not a “positive thinking” bypass. So long as we employ approval, there is nothing left to negate any aspect of reality or subvert our inherent dignity. Approval becomes a primary tool of growth, whereby we commit ourselves to all of our experience. We embrace the totality of our lives. We do not abandon ourselves in acquiescence. With approval, there is no need for straining, rejecting, or collapsing. We receive and approve. While it might offer a temporary sense of control, no brilliance has ever come from disapproval.
