Eros Platform logo

Using Tension Creatively

by Patrick

At my core, I am an entrepreneur. It’s not a surprise to me that it was a business venture that first brought me to OM, nor that OM has since transformed how I think about and do business.

Discovery of OM

I live in London but found OM first in America at a business conference. This was several years ago, and the idea of using Facebook for effective commercial outreach was still a novel idea.  I’d been on Facebook for a while but hadn’t taken it seriously; after a seminar at this conference, however, I was convinced of the possibilities.  I went back to my hotel room and started getting in touch with my friends on the site. I started adding friends of friends, and after a few moments, I came across the page of this woman talking about something called Orgasmic Meditation.  I laughed a little to myself and thought, Well, that’s one surefire way to get people interested in your business!

That initial amusement turned to genuine curiosity.  I was interested in meeting people and finding out what they had to say about orgasms. I wasn’t sure there was anything there that could change my life outside of business. I got along great with women; I had a good amount of intimacy and connection in my life. I felt competent and confident about approaching people.  I didn’t need to learn a new technique. Or so I thought.

Saying Yes to Opportunity

To be honest, though, things weren’t going very well by the time I walked into my first OM seminar.  On the day of that first workshop, I almost canceled.  Then I remembered something I’d heard years ago.  A speaker said that if you see someone who is really struggling with his life, the best thing to do is find out what he does every day – and then do the opposite.  I’d been going through this rough patch emotionally and professionally, and my first instinct was to bail out of this opportunity.  Instead, I thought it through and took “opposite action.” The man in me who was struggling didn’t want to check out OM; so, the man in me who needed to choose success went anyway.

My first workshop was here in London, and I was struck by the exercises.  We went around the room and asked people if they’d like to OM, purely to practice asking, not to actually book OMs.  Everyone would say “no,” and we had to move on and have our ask rejected again and again.  This was brilliant – not because rejection is fun, but because you don’t die from it.  You can keep going, and you can even learn to let all the “no’s” you hear slough off your back. 

Released from Autopilot

OMing itself was challenging in a good way.  I approached them initially with too much confidence and too much experience touching women in a certain way.  The structure of an OM, though, was perfectly designed to get me out of autopilot.  Everything I thought I knew wasn’t useful; I had to learn something new from the ground up.  It was like being right-handed and suddenly trying to do elegant calligraphy with my left hand.  It was difficult, but because it was so difficult, it worked for me on a deep level.

I didn’t feel anything at first. At least, I thought I didn’t.  I had expected that, as it takes a lot to move me.  Then, I was stunned by how much emotion I started to feel after my first few OMs. The intensity snuck up on me but in the most extraordinarily powerful way. After a while, I went through this period where it was almost impossible for me to sit still in the nest because there was so much energy flowing through me, and I couldn’t move.  What I realized was that I had all this frozenness inside of me, and I had held it all in as tension for so long.  The ice dam was breaking, and I couldn’t help but move as everything shifted inside me. 

It took a long time, but OM has taught me how to use that tension creatively.  Instead of being stored and frozen, it’s always flowing and moving; I feel things more quickly, and I can respond so much faster to every imaginable sort of opportunity.  The adjustments I get in OMs are more than just directions about how to stroke your partner differently – they are trailheads into other shifts that need making.  I never want to get to the point where I don’t hear adjustments because then I’ll be back to being frozen.

The Spark of OM

A lot of my friends who have heard me talk about OM think it’s pretty wild, frankly. Many of them thought I was lying about what was going on with the practice until they saw how dramatically I’d changed. What they don’t realize is that the changes in me affect them in ways they may not fully understand.

In OM, though, we get a spark each time we OM.  It gives you the energy and the direction to change everything around you.  For me, sometimes the spark manifests as the strength to hold space for people who are struggling.  The spark gives me the right words to calm a situation, and it tells me when words won’t help and I just need to sit with someone.  I’ve seen people light up or calm down and get almost sleepy when they sit with me.  That’s not because I’m some sort of amazing clairvoyant or a great mystic.  It’s because they feel the spark in me that I get each time I OM.  This practice is incredible in that it changes everything and everyone it touches. 

Related Stories
Alleviating the Nagging Dissatisfaction
by Dillon
I was 35 when I sold my first company. After years of hard work, there was this long-awaited payoff.  If I wanted to, I could r... see more
7 min Read
No Need to Hide Anymore
by Lori Passero
There was a long legacy of sexual abuse in my family, and I’m sure I only know half of it. I got swept into that storm when I w... see more
6 min Read
The Realest Thing I've Ever Experienced
by Chris Cooper
Computers have always been my life. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was still very young. Social interactions were somet... see more
4 min Read
The Gift of Being Uncomfortable
by Quantum
I crave intimacy, being awake in this life, and connecting with the generosity of the human spirit. The question for me has alw... see more
6 min Read
Yes, I’d Like That
by Kevin
I was in my early 50s when I came to OM. At that time, I’d been in the same corporate job for over half my life. I’d spent 27 y... see more
5 min Read
Learning to Connect with the Mystery
by Jeremy
If I think about why I went looking for something like OM, it all had to do with this tremendous desire to connect with women. ... see more
6 min Read
Growing Closer — How I Deepened My Relationships through OM
by Hector
I was in my early 40s when I first came to OM, a decade ago. I had more than 20 years’ experience with a variety of traditions ... see more
5 min Read
The New Activism
by Elya
I found out about Orgasmic Meditation from a guy I met on a popular dating website. He told me he practiced OM, and what he sai... see more
6 min Read
Staying Open Through It All
by Francesca Blake
OM was not my first stop. What I mean by that is that I’d spent years studying self-improvement and self-awareness. There are s... see more
5 min Read