Eros Platform logo

Throwing Away the Script

by Angelee

When I look back, as a 56-year-old retired architect, I see that a need for adventure has driven a lot of my life. That has come in all sorts of forms. The throughline is that I don’t want to just succumb to expectations or follow the usual script when it comes to living my life. 

Living "Off-Script"

My journey of transformation began in 2006 when I left my marriage of 13 years. That’s when I started living off-script. When I discovered Orgasmic Meditation in 2012, I found a path that enhanced and affirmed what I was doing. OM (Orgasmic Meditation) taught me about the deliciousness of slowing down and being goalless—and it helped me find my voice and express my desires in a way that has given me clarity and power.

When I was married, I had almost everything I expected in life. I had a good partner, a house, a growing business, and a retirement plan. But after 10 years, I wasn’t happy and didn’t know why. It took two years to let unhappiness be enough of a reason to go. I left my husband, which was incredibly painful. But I knew it would be a harder road to find happiness in that box. 

I heard about Orgasmic Meditation from various people and went to a couple of events to learn more about it, coming home feeling lit up inside. I had so much energy and excitement running through my system that it was hard to sleep.  

Stepping Forward

Back then, I was always a back-of-the-classroom type of person. I liked learning about new things and attending classes and workshops, but it was my pattern to hide out in the back and just observe. Being at the front of the room was scary for me, but that’s what I learned how to do more in those classes. 

I knew that OM didn’t really exist in the area where my sister lived in the Pacific Northwest, so I moved back there. And I set about bringing Orgasmic Meditation to that community. This was an adventure and a huge risk for me. Being in front of a room talking to people about Orgasmic Meditation was one of the hardest things I have ever done in life, but I stuck with it and followed through on that goal for over a year. And it was incredibly gratifying to find my voice as a leader.

All through that time, I OMed regularly, and that’s when some big personal shifts took place for me. Being in the nest, having the container, and building my practice led to some major revelations. One of them—which sounds simple but was actually life-changing—was that I could use my voice and ask for what I wanted. I had the tools to explore my desire and to use my voice to express it. 

Honest Relationships

Life went so much better when I did those things. My relationships had honesty, transparency, and vulnerability. Just knowing that we were safe to talk about anything and that nothing was off the table was momentous. I had confidence that the right words would come out, and I could handle whatever it was that I was about to hear. It was a whole new way of relating to people. 

With one boyfriend that I had for about a year, I always asked him for what I wanted. He was thrilled by that: he didn't have to guess what I thought or wanted. When I saw that he liked my expressiveness and was responsive to it, I did it even more. Even though we're not in a relationship anymore, we have a deep love for each other--a really strong connection.

Another huge lesson of OM (Orgasmic Meditation) is the art of slowing down and being with what is. During the practice, you can experience firsthand that there is so much more sensation when you slow things down and go into it without goals. It’s absolutely delicious.

Now, when I am with a new or potential partner, I always say up front that I like to go into relationships with no expectations and no agenda. I just want to feel it in the moment. It’s more interesting, adventurous, and alive that way.

Slower Pace, Happier Life

Most of life is about doing. We’re told that we should always be on a trajectory moving forward and that faster is better. But my life right now is exactly the opposite of that. I find that if I can slow down, my life gets happier. If I'm not in a rush, almost nothing upsets me. 

When something bad happens, and I experience difficulties, it’s much easier to deal with it if I can slow things down. If you're in a rush or under a crunch, then a problem or setback can eat away at you and ruin your day. When you slow down, things turn around faster. 

These days, my life is about being rather than doing. And I find it’s key to my enjoyment of life.

Related Stories
I Gained So Much Confidence Through OM
by Melanie
I took society’s path in life, fulfilling everyone else’s desires about what life should look like, getting married, having a r... see more
5 min Read
Life is a Playground
by Drucille West
I grew up being a good girl.  I want to start with that because it defined who I was for so long, and it’s at the heart of what... see more
5 min Read
OM Took Away My Need for Painkillers
by Josh
I am well-versed in reading a person or situation for what I believe they expect from me. Before I found the practice of Orgasm... see more
4 min Read
A Practice of Letting Go
by Megan
When I was a kid, my mom would joke that I was ‘a brain on a stick’ because she saw the way I related to my body. I used to loo... see more
5 min Read
Looking For the Magic Formula
by Oliver Damian
I was living in Sydney, Australia, working at a law firm, progressing towards becoming a senior associate, and gunning for a pa... see more
5 min Read
More Authentic Communication In Relationships
by Nick
I never used to be able to find relationships that could fulfill my needs. They were all either drama-filled and toxic or borin... see more
5 min Read
Rethinking Societal Messages & Expectations
by Annabelle Buckley
I have always been a seeker. Before I knew about Orgasmic Meditation, I was searching for something, but I couldn’t pinpoint wh... see more
4 min Read
Less Need for External Validation
by Martin
I was nearing the end of a failing relationship. I could see it was going wrong, but my partner and I had no way of communicati... see more
5 min Read