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The Relief of Honesty

by Ron

I’d been doing Information Technology work for years, and I felt stuck. I had always been fascinated by science and technology, and I moved to Austin, Texas, right as it was starting to explode as a hub for computers about 20 years ago. I expected to find a lively community of people who shared my interests, yet somehow, I never did.

Unfulfilled Expectations

I think a lot of people hope or expect to be fulfilled by their work. For a long time, I kept waiting for something to shift so that I would start to love what I did for a living. That never happened, and it still hasn’t happened yet. I’m still doing Information Technology, and I'm still waiting to love it! The difference is that now, I understand that most people need more than a job to fulfill them.

Men Practicing Orgasmic Meditation

I found Orgasmic Meditation (OM) because I was looking for men’s groups. By 2011, I’d tried many different men’s groups, some online and most in person. I kept looking for a place to be accepted and challenged. For a long time, it was a bit of a “Goldilocks” thing – you know, the porridge is too cold or hot? Men’s groups were like that: either too intense and demanding of your time, or there wasn’t enough interaction and communication to make it worth sticking around.

The men’s group I found was made up of men who practiced Orgasmic Meditation, which was different. The first thing I noticed was that many of these guys (not all, but many) worked in tech just like I did. They, too, had realized that there was only so much fulfillment you could get from a job, even a good one that paid well. The second thing I noticed was that these men seemed incredibly adept at talking about their feelings. Not in a weepy, complaining way, either. They noticed what was happening around them, processed feedback well, and could share deeply. I can tell you that kind of self-awareness without bitterness is very rare.

New Perspectives on Women

The men's group that practiced Orgasmic Meditation also had a very different way of talking about women. Some men, in other situations, are angry at women and want to talk about men’s rights. Other men’s groups seem to have women on a pedestal. The men I met who OMed talked about women as people, and they understood them as people, neither the enemy nor a race of superior beings. It was such a relief to be around men who could put relationships in perspective so honestly, without rage or fear.

This group of men got me started trying the practice of Orgasmic Meditation. For a while, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to practice Orgasmic Meditation, as my main interest was doing the work we did man-to-man. It became obvious, though, that for me to reach the levels of awareness and confidence I wanted the other men to have, I needed to start practicing.

The Power of Adjustments

I really appreciated the adjustments in Orgasmic Meditation. It’s been over a year since I’ve OMed, thanks to the pandemic, and after all this time, one thing stands out vividly: the adjustments. I had no experience with women being that straightforward with me about what they wanted. I had always felt I was playing a guessing game that I wasn’t very good at.

The honesty was so refreshing, taking much of the pressure off. I was a little nervous when I first heard a man talk about adjustments. I had misunderstood; it sounded like women were just telling men what the men were doing wrong. When I started OMing, I realized that the adjustments weren’t correcting bad behavior but were steps toward connecting everything. It took off the pressure to already know how to do everything.

Reflections on OM Experience

It’s hard to remember the individual OMs after all this time. The best image I can use is that they were like drinking a cool glass of water when you’re really thirsty. (I mean thirst as wanting something deeply fulfilling and being unable to find it.) I look back, and I’ve only been actually satiated so many times in my life.

I can’t remember one specific occasion where it felt like that - the relief of drinking water - but I know it was wonderful when I did. What the men I met made me aware of was that I was thirsty for honesty and connection in ways I hadn’t realized before. I'm grateful for the practice of Orgasmic Meditation, which has taught me how to access that kind of honesty. 

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