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Something Relaxed Inside Me

by Ted Stewart

I work as a coder, and my job gives me a lot of independence. Starting in my late 20s, I realized I needed to use that independence to try and pull myself out of the spiritual and emotional rut I’d been in for as long as I could remember. I went to 12-step programs and dealt with my issues with drugs and alcohol. I knew I needed more, so I started exploring various healing modalities. That’s how I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation (OM); I was at a personal growth conference in Las Vegas and met this guy who told me about the practice.  I felt a chill down my spine when I heard him describe it. I thought that’s insane – and it sounds exactly like what I’ve been looking for for so long.

My First Orgasmic Meditation

My introductory Orgasmic Meditation workshop unnerved me. I wanted a drink badly – the thought of having to do something so intimate and intense while sober seemed overwhelming. A guy told me not to worry that I might not feel anything until my sixth OM.  I had no idea what was so important about the sixth time, but his words took the pressure off. I was still tight and anxious through my first OM later that day, fearful that the woman wasn’t enjoying herself.

Sure enough, it happened just as the guy had said. When the sixth OM came, I felt the energy flowing between my finger and her body, my chest and hers. I stepped out of the nest with a grin on my face. I was certain that the woman enjoyed it, too.

Orgasmic Meditation relaxes something inside me, smoothing out all the wrinkles and the tension. It’s not the same as the calm and tiredness after the climax. It’s not really sexual at all – it’s a sense of peace, restoration, and, crucially, energy. I can tap into that feeling anytime and anywhere. It’s a sort of homecoming, a return to a safe spot. Orgasmic Meditation infuses my life even when I’m not actively practicing. It’s like a renewable resource. 

Confidence and Self-Acceptance

My life has changed as a result. Orgasmic Meditation desensitized me in just the right way. My confidence is linked to that kind of healthy desensitization. I don’t mean I became numb or reckless. Rather, my anxiety was a radio with the volume turned way up. I couldn’t hear anything else. Orgasmic Meditation turned down the volume on my fear to take the initiative and connect to other people without worrying that I’d revolt against them. 

Last night, as I drove home from a date, it hit me that I didn’t need validation the way I did before. I realized I had been on this great date and never felt I needed to prove anything or impress this woman. I like myself, and I’m nice to myself. Heck, I’m pretty great. The burdens of shame and doubt I carried for so long are gone. 

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