Eros Platform logo

Saying Yes to What Brings Me Joy

by Alex

You know the old saying, “The shoemaker’s children go barefoot?” It’s the idea that people who are experts at something often fail to practice their principles at home. That was me before Orgasmic Meditation. I was a professional therapist and marriage counselor, and my own marriage had fallen apart. I was crushed and embarrassed.

Journey of Self-Improvement

Let me back up a second – I grew up in a very close-minded, deeply religious family. I was outwardly compliant and a “good boy.” On the inside, I was rebellious. That just seemed normal to me. I figured that part of being an adult was learning to keep your internal defiance repressed. You needed to suit up and show up and be a good Christian man. That’s what led me to get married young, and it worked – until the wheels fell off the bus.

After my divorce, I knew I needed to fix something in me before I could go back to trying to fix other people. I began to do a lot of work. I started with Christian counselors who relied more on the Bible than conventional psychology. When that didn’t work, I started to see secular professionals, and that was a bit more effective. It was slow going. I spent four years doing this inner work until the divorce was finally over. By that point, I knew that therapy wasn’t going to cut it by itself. I needed to find other sources of wisdom and began searching online. That soon led me to OM.

My First Orgasmic Meditation

I spent a few months attending men’s groups, where other guys who practiced Orgasmic Meditation (OM) came together to talk about their lives. From the moment I sat down with these men, I knew they were the real deal. I liked how honest and aware they were, and I appreciated that they were welcoming of someone who had never OMed before. My Christian background initially made me very reluctant to take the next step and witness an OM. Maybe I could just soak up the benefits via osmosis from the other guys. I figured out, eventually, that wouldn’t work.

I first OMed with this woman I had been dating. We had had this tentative relationship before we practiced together, and I had been unsure of how to move forward with her. I felt so much sensation in the OM. When we shared afterward, we were both trembling with the energy we had created. I’d never experienced anything like that, nor had she. You might think that I’m describing some particularly arousing foreplay, but that’s not what this was. We both had parts of ourselves that we had locked away for so long, and Orgasmic Meditation allowed us to let loose what we had repressed for so damn long.

Practice & Relationships

This woman became very precise in what she wanted. As we continued to OM, she gave me these exquisitely exact adjustments. It was liberating for me. I didn’t have to be in control or play guessing games. At last, here was a woman who didn’t expect me to be a mind reader. And our relationship was really about practice. It didn't have the exclusive feeling I knew from dating and marriage. She encouraged me to treat women with the same care and attention I gave to her and give them permission to tell me exactly what they wanted. She taught me that I have the power to create the space for people to share what's real for them.

One of the key tenets I heard in my first intro class was that I needed to learn to "say yes to my yes.” This is perhaps the most important thing I learned in Orgasmic Meditation, and it carries over into every area of my life. It is the exact opposite of what I was taught when I was young. I spent so much of my life saying no to my desires until I had forgotten what those desires were in the first place. Saying “yes to my yes” has led me to many new experiences and relationships I could never have imagined.

Joy in Simplicity

Sometimes, though, the “yes” is to the very simple things. I’m nearly 50 years old and have a new hobby: skateboarding. Is it ridiculous for a man my age to learn to ride a skateboard? I don’t care! Maybe it is absurd and ridiculous, but so what? It brings me such joy. Riding my board is an act of self-love. I wish everyone could feel that same glee and peace when I say yes to what I need and want. I’m so grateful Orgasmic Meditation taught me how to love myself in actions as well as words. I carry that lesson with me every day.

Related Stories
How to Be a Man
by Jens
When I was young and in school, I adapted to the need to hide my feelings by becoming the class clown, able to dissipate any em... see more
6 min Read
Alleviating the Nagging Dissatisfaction
by Dillon
I was 35 when I sold my first company. After years of hard work, there was this long-awaited payoff.  If I wanted to, I could r... see more
7 min Read
A Practice of Letting Go
by Megan
When I was a kid, my mom would joke that I was ‘a brain on a stick’ because she saw the way I related to my body. I used to loo... see more
5 min Read
Yes, I’d Like That
by Kevin
I was in my early 50s when I came to OM. At that time, I’d been in the same corporate job for over half my life. I’d spent 27 y... see more
5 min Read
Even Only One OM Changed Me
by Alex Fender
I grew up on the East Coast in a loving but very religious Catholic family. I came to California to go to college and fell in l... see more
6 min Read
No More Fake Good Girl
by Bonnie
In the old days, I was working a lot, and everything was “fine.” Fine is a funny word – as soon as you use it, people know that... see more
6 min Read
The New Activism
by Elya
I found out about Orgasmic Meditation from a guy I met on a popular dating website. He told me he practiced OM, and what he sai... see more
6 min Read
One Word Healed Me
by David
I was the archetypal 45-year-old virgin before I came to Orgasmic Meditation (OM). I wasn’t a virgin in the literal sense, but ... see more
4 min Read
A New Confidence
by Felipe
My parents raised me with a relatively blank slate. Except for the fact that I needed to excel academically and athletically, t... see more
5 min Read