I come from a very technical, scientific, and logical German background. As a result, I experienced a lot of tension and anxiety about everyday life, especially around romantic relationships. When I discovered Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I had finished my PhD and was due to deliver my thesis. Yet I had not yet written it, which weighed heavily on me. Then, my girlfriend and I broke up, all around my 30th birthday.
One night, while doing a YouTube safari, I stumbled upon a TED Talk about Orgasmic Meditation. I was absolutely fascinated. “People should be doing this!” I thought. Yet I also thought it was weird, so I didn’t include myself as one of those people. Then I searched further and saw that a newspaper I regularly read had posted an article about the practice, giving it more validity. I found myself in a delicious dilemma. I’d already formed an opinion that it was weird. And now I’d read an article that made it sound more normal. What did I want to do? Did I want to find out more? Yes or no? Finally, I realized the practice could develop intimate communication, and I could definitely use more of that. I learned a lot in the introductory class. I felt very seen and connected with people afterward, so I signed up for my first immersion.
After my first two OMs, I attended an event with other practitioners and we did a writing exercise to dive more deeply into intimacy and connection by writing about all our fears and resentments and then reading them to someone. I was really nervous and resentful over my dissertation and rather shaken at all the things I was learning with Orgasmic Meditation. “Are all these things that I’m learning really real?” I asked myself. I wanted to unravel my experiences with my therapist, not write about them and then read them aloud. It was too intimate. I felt too vulnerable. But I did the writing exercise and finally read it to someone I trusted. Even though I was shaking and trembling the whole time, the exercise ended up being incredibly freeing and healing, and I was so glad I did it.
Basically, five sessions and all the writing I did around those sessions accomplished what three years of therapy had not done. I had a breakthrough: I started writing my thesis in January and had my thesis defense in December, which is definitely the fast track in academia! I kept practicing Orgasmic Meditation the whole time.
By the time I was 33, I had done a deep dive into my shadows of darkness. I had a lot of shame around how much I longed to be intimate with women. I had had such fear around telling a woman about my desires. I was so concerned, thinking, “What will she think of me? If I tell her I have desire for her, will she perceive me as trustworthy?” Orgasmic Meditation helped me not only get in touch with my desires. It gave me the courage to speak truthfully to women about them.
Around this time, I ended up in a relationship with another practitioner, and OM—Orgasmic Meditation enabled us to go so much deeper into an awareness of our patterns. Being in that relationship with Mila was a significant learning experience for me. What people think when they first hear the word orgasm is so incomplete, the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It's about stepping into a different consciousness—a consciousness where there is no goal.
Stripping away the element of the stress of goals and success, I am much more relaxed in all my life circumstances. I’m much more confident about sex, and this relaxation has carried over into my professional and private life. My anxiety levels have reduced considerably, and I can access "play mode" much more easily. I don’t take things so seriously. For example, I recently gave notice at work without having the next job lined up, something I never would have done before.
Right now, I’m traveling and taking the liberty to have a creative break and seek the inspiration to do something that I feel is spiritually more purposeful. My last job was never really true to my heart. Orgasmic Meditation has helped me to step into the unknown.
