by Carter Raj
I was raised in India and moved to the US at the age of 31. My work life was extremely hectic and stressful, with tremendous competition and the constant need to navigate corporate politics. Fortunately, I am a practicing Buddhist, regularly chanting and meditating with a group. So, that really helped me overcome some of my challenges.
My wife and I lived in Minnesota, and then I moved to California and had to be away from her for some time. Our relationship had become rather stale, and I wanted to explore and understand how we could enjoy each other more. Actually, one of my life goals—along with financial independence and having more free time—was to accomplish more intimacy and freedom from shame. So, during my time in California, I connected with a lot of different types of people and went to a few workshops related to conscious touch. Several people I met at workshops were familiar with Orgasmic Meditation and recommended it. So, I Googled it and liked what I saw. I thought the practice was cool, and the people participating were bold. I really admired and respected the people doing it. So, I went to an OM workshop.
I didn't have any judgments about the practice, but I was very curious. I like the philosophy of Orgasmic Meditation and agree that people shouldn't be as constrained by societal thinking as we are. The fact that Orgasmic Meditation seemed to attract regular, normal people from all walks of life who were similarly minded made me feel very comfortable.
My first time Orgasmic Meditation (OM) was in Munich, Germany. Beforehand, I was apprehensive that I might be judged a little bit for being so eager, like a boy having his first sexual experience, so to speak. But fortunately, that wasn't the case. Everybody I talked to was very supportive, non-judgmental, and had a lot of empathy. It seemed generally understood that supporting other people in their emotions and their vulnerability was all part of the practice.
As far as the OM (Orgasmic Meditation) itself, I found it very clinical. I was also excited that there was much more to the experience than my partner, and I simply felt pleasure. I was fascinated that I could be stroking a half-naked woman’s genitals and not experience even the slightest bit of arousal. I didn’t really feel anything in my body.
Being so driven in work and technically inclined, at first, as I was learning, I tried to be more technical than was required. I was bothered that I couldn’t always find the “right spot.” Eventually, I realized that there wasn’t a right spot for me, and I stopped trying so hard. I also felt constrained by the limited scope of the container. At first, I felt that I would be able to connect better with my partner and have a more heightened experience if I was allowed to be more fluid when it comes to touching various other parts of the body, like the feet and the legs.
Eventually, I began to relax and realized that maybe it wasn’t about me so much. I accepted that it was just an experience, a natural thing that I shouldn't make such a big deal about. Soon, that more relaxed attitude spread to every other aspect of my life. It's just an experience to be enjoyed. And that's pretty much it.
Since starting Orgasmic Meditation, I have become much more confident in my prowess (if I can use the word) and am very happy to help a woman connect to her body and help her feel more. It’s really boosted my confidence in knowing what I'm doing! Interestingly, I've also become a lot more relaxed at work. When things start getting more political and stressing me out, I can say, “Okay, hang on, if it's not working for me, I am not going to do it.” I don’t know if I can tie it totally to OM (Orgasmic Meditation), but I'm self-employed now and really enjoying it.
Another thing I can do now is if I see a friend who is struggling or dealing with fear issues, I can say, “Look, we can OM, and this is exactly what it will be, and that's it.” The container aspect in Orgasmic Meditation is quite important and very powerful. Hopefully, experiencing something like that can make her feel safe and reduce the gravity of her situation.
Frankly, I love the idea of Orgasmic Meditation being available, just like yoga, with an OM (Orgasmic Meditation) center in all its power and glory in every nook and cranny of the world. I think the practice is healthy and helpful, and I would love for it to gain more prevalence.
