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OM Peels The Layers Off

by Caroline Davies

I don't actually remember how I found out about Orgasmic Meditation. But I was living in New York City at the time, and I went to a couple of events where OM was discussed. I was just coming into my own practice of ethical relating and looking for more ways to have unhindered conversations around connection and intimacy. I really liked the communication games and the conversations that were happening at the events. So, I went to an introduction class by myself. Then I took a couple of friends with me.

Discovery of OM

I learned a lot of things about myself doing the practice. One of my personal growth practices—with which OM is completely aligned—was to practice receiving without having to first do or give something in order to receive. OM was perfect for that exploration. But the challenge for me was just to be present and to let my body feel what it was feeling without having to do anything to participate. 

It was an amazingly vulnerable experience. I came into the practice, allowing myself to be really open. I was determined not to be attached to the experience and with whom I OMed. When I was invited to OM, I would always say “Yes,” regardless of my initial reaction to the person. And that was really interesting. It had me reflect on the nature of attraction because often, I would have awkward or frustrating OMing experiences with men that I was attracted to, and then I would have these amazing orgasmic experiences with men I was not attracted to. It had me look to see if there was a misalignment or an incongruence between what I say I want and what I actually want. 

Now, I play that line of questioning in my head a lot. Is this what I want? Am I actually asking for what I want? The OM practice was a way for me to really work through that. And it wasn’t just within the context of my intimate relationships. It was more a question I learned to ask in general. How was I relating to desire and enjoyment? What did that look like in my work and in my platonic relationships? In my environment?

Authentic Expression

I haven't been OMing since I moved, but I've benefited from the practice. I definitely still embody some of the main tenets of the practice—although I know, right now, that I am not in a state of turn-on. I've had a lot of things come up for me during my recent pregnancy and the postpartum period that has affected my sense of turn-on. So, right now, I'm in a process of reclamation around that. I talk about OM a lot, and I think about it a lot because I believe orgasm is integral to our creative expression as women. It's our seat of power.

Overall, OM has given me permission to let go of whatever ideas I had about intimacy and relating that were keeping me from authentic expression. Frankly, I think you have to be willing to let go of all of that in order to be fully present.

OM won’t be the same experience for everyone. But no matter who you are, it helps you peel the layers off.  I think anybody coming to the practice should give themselves six months to a year to really process and see what this is opening up for them. Whatever your relationship dynamic is, whatever your gender identity or self-expression is, OM is an opportunity to have an experience of yourself outside of all of those dynamics and those identities.

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