by Caroline Davies
I don't remember how I found out about Orgasmic Meditation. However, I was living in New York City then and attended a couple of events where Orgasmic Meditation (OM) was discussed. I was coming into my own practice of ethical relating and looking for more ways to have unhindered conversations around connection and intimacy. I liked the communication games and the conversations at the events. So, I went to an introduction class by myself. Then I took a couple of friends with me.
I learned a lot about myself doing the practice. One of my personal growth practices—with which Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is completely aligned—was to practice receiving without having to first do or give something in order to receive. OM was perfect for that exploration. But the challenge for me was just to be present and to let my body feel what it was feeling without having to do anything to participate.
It was an amazingly vulnerable experience. I came into the practice, allowing myself to be open. I was determined not to be attached to the experience and with whom I OMed. When I was invited to OM, I would always say “Yes,” regardless of my initial reaction to the person. And that was really interesting. It had me reflect on the nature of attraction because I would often have awkward or frustrating OMing experiences with men I was attracted to. Then, I would have these fantastic orgasmic experiences with men I was not attracted to. It had me look to see if there was a misalignment or an incongruence between what I say I want and what I actually want.
Now, I play that line of questioning in my head a lot. Is this what I want? Am I actually asking for what I want? The Orgasmic Meditation practice was a way for me to work through that. And it wasn’t just within the context of my intimate relationships. It was more a question I learned to ask in general. How was I relating to desire and enjoyment? What did that look like in my work and in my platonic relationships? In my environment?
I haven't been OMing since I moved, but I've benefited from the practice. I still embody some of the main tenets of the practice—although I know, right now, that I am not in a state of turn-on. I've had a lot of things come up for me during my recent pregnancy and the postpartum period that has affected my sense of turn-on. So, right now, I'm in the process of reclamation around that. I talk about OM—Orgasmic Meditation a lot, and I think about it a lot because I believe orgasm is integral to our creative expression as women. It's our seat of power.
Overall, Orgasmic Meditation has given me permission to let go of whatever ideas I had about intimacy and relating that were keeping me from authentic expression. Frankly, you must be willing to let go of all that to be fully present.
Orgasmic Meditation won’t be the same experience for everyone. But no matter who you are, it helps you peel the layers off. I think anybody coming to the practice should give themselves six months to a year to process and see what this is opening up for them. Whatever your relationship dynamic is, whatever your gender identity or self-expression is, OM—Orgasmic Meditation is an opportunity to have an experience of yourself outside of all of those dynamics and those identities.
