by Leore Schwartz
When I found Orgasmic Meditation, I was in my late 30s and had had a series of relationships that hadn’t worked out. I’d known from the beginning that they weren’t a good fit, yet each time, I felt the need to jump in and effort through the relationship anyway. This usually lasted a year or two until things would get so bad that I’d hit the eject button. I did this over and over again. Though I found it exhausting, I didn’t see any other way to be.
Once I started OMing, I realized how much shame I was holding about my body. As the saying goes, identifying is the first step to healing, so I decided I wanted to let the shame go.
Fortunately, the practice kept my attention focused on the process—not the destination—of exploration. I had enough power and strength to explore my body and my shame; all I needed was some people to show me the way and a method to practice all the new skills I was developing. Orgasmic Meditation (OM) gave me both.
My body started to feel more awake and alive. One of the things I had a hard time with was asking for what I wanted, whether it was in an intimate relationship or at work. Through the practice of Orgasmic Meditation and talking with other women who OMed, I learned that asking for what I wanted was okay. I set out to start asking for adjustments in my OMs. But when I got in the nest, I realized I couldn’t identify what I wanted. That step alone took weeks.
I’d have several OMs a day where I’d search for what I wanted to adjust, but I couldn’t decide. After weeks of this, I realized I just needed to say something and modify from there. I’d say something like, “I want you to move your finger a little to the right.” He’d make the change, and I’d pay close attention to what occurred for me in my body. Then, I began offering adjustments just to see what they felt like, and I noticed what I liked in my body.
It took another few weeks just to find the language to ask for those strokes in Orgasmic Meditation. But once I had those two skills—identifying what I liked and having the courage to ask for it—it felt like the door was open for the rest of my life, too. I could say, “This is what I’d like to try,” and I had both the skill and the muscle memory to do it.
The practice's container lets me know exactly what I am getting into, and I’ve applied that as a template for other experiences, too. I can say with specificity: This is what we’re getting into. Then, I can structure those experiences in the same measured way that Orgasmic Meditation is structured—with clear communication and with nothing extra.
I’ve been practicing Orgasmic Meditation for more than five years now. I try to OM often because it makes me feel better. There are times when I OM several times a day, and there are times when I OM only five or six times each week. Either way, Orgasmic Meditation is a constant wellspring of well-being for me. It refreshes my body, replenishes my mental health, and is so well structured that it’s easy to say yes to.
Orgasmic Meditation feeds a part of me that nothing else does, and I see it the same way I see a yoga class: regardless of what it takes to get me in the room, I always feel better afterwards than I did before. When the OM is over, I am incontrovertibly different; I feel more alive and open-hearted. I am more comfortable with my body now and have access to more language to describe what I’m experiencing.
