by Van Pato
Before OM - Orgasmic Meditation, I had been through three divorces, and I was convinced I was broken and that I would never make my partner happy – which is what I thought was expected of me. Orgasmic Meditation allowed me to move beyond these expectations and to understand my own “yesses” and “nos truly.” I learned how to talk naturally with women without awkwardness or expectation. I learned how to empathize with and understand the person in front of me.
I can’t remember anything about my first OM - Orgasmic Meditation. I remember the second one, though. I was still nervous, and my hand was sweating in the glove. But after a few strokes, I started to feel really connected with myself, and then I felt a spark. A real spark. And I thought it was so strange – how or why would I feel a spark when I was wearing gloves? I shouldn’t have felt anything.
That was just the beginning.
One day, I had three OMs on the same day, and during the second one, something remarkable happened. I became overwhelmed with sensation and emotion. I felt that I was crying and laughing at the same time. I thought I was going crazy; I couldn’t breathe. My body felt warm and cold simultaneously, and I saw lights and colors. I started to shake.
And all of this just from stroking.
Now, when I OM, I can feel a spark that moves from my finger to my hand, to my arm, and then up into my chest, and then I feel an explosion. I feel a warmth on one side of me and cold on the other. Then the sensation moves to my stomach, and I feel a sense of peace and can relax.
To anyone who thinks (OM) Orgasmic Meditation is not for men, that men don’t really feel anything, let me tell you, you will feel something. It could be just a tingling in your toes, knees, or fingers, an intense sensation on your forehead, a momentary clenching of muscles, or a grounding and a calm sense of peace. It’s different for everyone, and every OM is different as well. But you will feel something. Even the ostensibly simple act of asking for an OM, standing before a woman and asking, has become quite profound for me. When I’m in front of another person, asking to OM, I register how my body feels as I wait for an answer, how it feels if I receive a yes, and how it feels if I receive a no.
I have learned to apply this same level of awareness to simply asking a woman out. I used to be like a teenager, so nervous and uncomfortable. I never knew what to do or what to say. But now I’ve found a confidence and a simplicity. I can just ask a woman out. If she says no, she says no. I don’t feel upset or take it personally. Orgasmic Meditation really helped me in other areas of life as well. After my divorce, I began to think I was broken. I thought it was my responsibility to keep my partner happy. My mindset was that I owned my partner, and she owned me. I thought if she was happy, I’d be happy. So, in my head, my failed relationships were my failures; they were what kept me unhappy.
Through Orgasmic Meditation, I discovered that we are responsible for our happiness and experience. My role in OM is not to satisfy my partner or to be satisfied by her. It’s really about connecting with myself and my own body. So that’s what I learned to do, and the results were remarkable. Now, I can be honest and clear. If there’s something I want, I ask for it. If there’s something I don’t want to do, I simply say no. I feel confident in saying I don’t want kids despite how important that is in Latino culture. This simple act of owning my own yesses and nos has been so helpful for me.
At first, OM offered me a heightened awareness and sensation, but soon, I was able to find it in other aspects of my life as well. I have access to similar sensations from eating food, focusing on my sensory experiences, and elevating my awareness. The confidence I gained in relationships translated to my job as well—I could simply say what I was thinking without worrying too much about how it would be interpreted.
Orgasmic Meditation has provided me with such a valuable awakening and changed my life so much for the better that I can no longer imagine my life without it. This practice, which seems so simple and unremarkable, can actually offer you layers and layers of insight, growth, and awakening.
