by Ed Maran
I first heard of Orgasmic Meditation (OM) through my girlfriend. When she asked me if I would be interested in learning the practice, I was an enthusiastic yes. I took three lessons over the phone. Then, I practiced almost exclusively with her for six months.
As you might imagine, my first OM was in her apartment. She had the mat, pillows, gloves, lube, and timer app all ready to go. We followed the container to the letter. It was very exciting, very intimate.
That first OM created in me an overall sense of well-being. However, there was no localized sensation. Rather, it was a mixture of serenity and effervescence. But now, when I OM, I feel elevation, going down, I desire to go faster, slower, or to move left or right. And I feel all of that from the inside of my body.
In my first OMs, I based my actions on her reactions. If she started breathing faster, I'd consider stroking faster, for example. I tried to interpret her body rather than feeling it in an embodied way. Over time, I became able to see better. I would know, inside myself, what I should do.
I believe Orgasmic Meditation made me better across the board. My sense of empathy went through the roof, and I felt so much more rooted inside my body. This enabled me to cope with restless leg syndrome much more sustainably. The practice did not make the pain disappear or even reduce it. Rather, it made me more able to hold space for the sensation calmly.
I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, and was raised Roman Catholic, but by the time I was introduced to Orgasmic Meditation, I had no limiting religious beliefs. Even so, based on the name alone, I expected it to be an edgy activity. To my surprise, I was inspired, in fact, by how genuinely OMers were able to interact with one another and how energizing and generative the practice was.
From the outside, OM might seem edgy, especially were one to read about it. Compared to other actually edgy activities in the sexual realm — from orgies, say, at the fringe, to masturbation, that old standby — one usually feels depleted or worse afterward. OM has the opposite effect. One feels energized, calm, and not in need of a nap or a refractory period. OM is generative rather than consumptive.
For me, the most salient steps of the practice are asking a woman to OM and receiving adjustments during one. My seventeen-year marriage ended in divorce, after which I found dates online. I thus had zero experience asking in person to go out. This made requesting an OM rather exhilarating. Thanks to the container, it was also an achievable and risk-free action.
Since my girlfriend had OMed before, she was more than comfortable with giving me adjustments that I was happy to receive. For some women, learning how to give adjustments with the right amount of neutral attention is an achievement, one that leads to greater confidence in stating their desire elsewhere. In both cases, I felt great, either because of the impact of right actions upon me or upon others.
If there was one thing I'd want to make sure people knew, it would be the fact that, even outside of relationships, the practice creates a powerful zone of conviviality that renders the quietly incredible commonplace. The ease with which I can coexist and interact with other OMers, all with a level of deep connection unheard of in regular life, is moving.
My restless leg syndrome used to be an albatross, requiring heavy medication with the severe side effect of drowsiness that made nightlife untenable. Thanks to Orgasmic Meditation, the sensation is now manageable. It would be difficult to exaggerate the benefit gained by learning how to experience feelings in my body without forming too much attachment. Orgasmic Meditation is a constant reminder to keep our attention inside our body, which was crucial to my being able to overcome that problem. I remain forever grateful.
