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My Black and White World Returned to Color

by Kate

When I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation, it seemed both mind-blowingly strange and oddly appealing. I couldn’t put it into any category. It wouldn’t neatly fit into any of my pre-existing boxes for what intimacy could look like. I spent the next eight to nine months researching everything I could about it before making the decision to finally learn the practice. By the time I traveled to London from where I lived in a place near Bristol in England’s West Country, it was probably out of desperation. I knew I couldn’t go on living the way I had been.

Emotional Disconnection

I had completely disconnected from myself as a sexual being. The year before, yet another difficult relationship had come to an end, and this time it was like the shutters had come down. I just switched off. I started to see the whole world through monochrome, and I felt no resonance with people at all. 

I wanted to reconnect to my life. From my research and from what my friends had told me, I trusted that the practice offered a safe way for me to do that. There was a lot of structure around it. I felt I could trust it. I decided to try. 

First OM Experiences

My first two OMs were with men who I met in the introductory course. They were newbies like me, and the experience had an almost experimental quality. I felt somewhat detached and objective about it. My third OM, however, I could feel the energy stirring in my genitals, and this warm sensation traveled upwards through my navel to my solar plexus, at which point it couldn’t go any further. Almost intuitively, my stroker increased the pressure of the stroke, and it felt like I had broken through something. I dissolved into tears and felt the energy, which was now free to move, make its way to my heart. 

World in Color

With that one experience, my black-and-white world returned to color. But it would be four months before I’d OM again. I was single and living in an area without any other OMers around. Eventually, however, I connected with someone who commuted past my house for work. We had a number of phone conversations before he came over. That put me at ease. 

He would come by my place at least once a week to OM, and we maintained a regular practice for a while. Everything in my life changed. I felt totally connected to everyone around me. I felt so much more present in my body. The world just glowed. My life began to feel so electrified that I didn’t know what to do with all the energy. I talked to another OMer about it, and they told me that I could harness that orgasm energy and put it out into the world as love. 

And I’ve started to. When I OM, I can feel the creativity inside that connects me to what I want and gives me the power to create it. Now that I’ve reconnected to my own inner creativity, I can help other women do the same. I can take all that power I’ve generated and use it to love the people around me. I can use it to help them love themselves. 

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