Eros Platform logo

More Outgoing Now

by Livvy Bennett

I've always been open-minded, and I like unconventional, fringy things. When I came across OM, it made sense to me, and I decided to try it. The first challenge was figuring out how to ask someone to OM. Luckily, for my first OM, a guy asked me. It felt great that he asked, and a friend had recommended him. I could tell he was really kind. It was a good entry point, where I felt safe and comfortable, and the stroking was pleasurable, although I wasn't able to slow down enough to feel deeply into body sensations. 

Experiencing More Sensation

As I went on OMing, I soon came to especially enjoy the steps near the beginning, where the stroker grounds me by pressing on my thighs and then does the lube stroke, applying lubrication to my clitoris. I love the warm, buttery sensation of that first stroke, the smooth initial contact between the finger and the clitoris.

I'd been OMing for quite a while when I noticed that within the range of the stroking experience, it's possible to access higher levels of sensation. The connective point of the clitoris can become highly sensitized. Then, I had to navigate the process of providing direction in order to stay within that higher level of sensation.

Learning to Say What I Want

It took me a long time to learn to make adjustments, asking for a change in the stroke according to what would feel best to me. My voice was still so blocked that even if I thought to make an adjustment, I wouldn't do it. I'd be thinking, I should probably say something. Really, it's totally okay to say something. But I wanted him to know, to figure it out. Eventually, I discovered that using words to give direction was both empowering for me and more satisfying for both of us. Instead of letting him fish around in the dark, I can sense a direction and then guide him towards it. A symbiotic relationship unfolds. 

Once I had the ability to make adjustments, I took it into the real world. These days I have a heightened curiosity about inviting other people into my experience. I've become more outgoing now that I can make adjustments conversationally, which enhances my connection with people.

Two years ago, I started dancing. I was going to the park and dancing while walking. When people stopped to watch, I was able to receive their attention but stay anchored in my body and in my own pleasure. If people wanted to talk, I could play with that and either invite them in or not. In the past, if someone had wanted to talk to me, I'd have the obligation to stop what I was doing and respond. Otherwise, I would throw up a total barrier and not allow them in my field at all. Now, I can welcome other energies in, but I don't have to engage with them unless I want to. It's just another way of making adjustments.

Stepping Into Leadership

Currently, I'm in transition towards becoming a coach or leader, and now I know I have gifts to bring into the world. OM has awakened so much in me, and I want to be of service.

Related Stories
Finding Space to Listen
by Ethan Feerst
In my twenties, after working on a low-budget feature film, I turned to developing an underground theater company into a major ... see more
5 min Read
Bringing Feminine Power Into My Business
by Stephanie
After my divorce, I began searching for a new level of freedom. I was in my late 40s and had only been with one man, and I was ... see more
5 min Read
The Discipline of Practice
by Becky
My life used to be super linear, with a well-defined structure. You were supposed to check off boxes: get married, have kids, s... see more
6 min Read
Permission to Meet My Desires
by Grace
I first discovered OM about 10 years ago, and what brought me to it was a desire to open up physically. I’m a bodyworker, but a... see more
4 min Read
Not Taking a “No” Personally
by Michaela
Before finding OM, I was frustrated with my sexuality. I always felt that I never got the connection I wanted. I could not expr... see more
4 min Read
Seeing That What I Wanted Was In Front of Me
by Lalen Nishigori
Before I discovered OM, I was living in a constant state of seeking something that would make me feel whole, connected, and in ... see more
7 min Read
Connection and Solitude
by Felix
The feeling of hiding from attention was something that was imposed on me as a child but later became a habit and tactic to esc... see more
5 min Read
Freedom and Permission
by Audrey Steele
When I moved to San Francisco in my twenties, I felt free to do whatever I wanted. I was raised in a conventional, middle-class... see more
5 min Read
I Became Comfortable in My Body
by Christie
My parents are super conservative, and I grew up with a lot of Catholic shame and guilt. I attended Catholic school until colle... see more
5 min Read