Leaving Behind the Shoulds and Following Desire

by Adrianna

I came to Orgasmic Meditation (OM) during a time of very significant changes in my life. I had just been through a shamanic de-armoring – a 14-day ceremony designed to break up all the energies obscuring our true selves, such as social conditioning and family conditioning. That was a transformational experience for me, after which I ended an eight-year relationship and moved to Phoenix. Before that transformation and before OM, I had shut down my body and my spirituality as a result of trauma and conditioning. After the ceremony, I was meeting myself for the first time and rediscovering who I was meant to be. I was introduced to Orgasmic Meditation through a friend and teacher.

First Organic Meditation (OM) Experience

I had my first OM on my birthday four years ago. Honestly, that first time wasn’t mind-blowing. But I could see there was something to it, a subtlety that made me want to keep going. I’m a practitioner at heart, and I think I recognized it as a valuable practice from the beginning. Soon, I was OMing once or twice a week, and then almost every day. I was doing other growth work at the time, such as Orgasmic Meditation, which also contributed to the changes I experienced. 

I started to notice a deeper grounding in my body. I started to experience emotions as physical sensations, and I learned to keep presence with those sensations as a way of breaking free from negative emotions. This, in turn, helped me cultivate a sense of presence more generally. Within the OM container, I experience that presence as this little hum that I can feel in my body, which is reaffirmed by the connection with my partner, and the fact that he’s experiencing something similar. That connection between our energy systems and the knowledge that he feels it, too, is very nourishing.

Boundaries and Safety

Orgasmic Meditation also taught me something about setting and keeping boundaries. That altered state produced by ceremony or orgasm results in this expansive space that lends itself to pushing boundaries – which is sometimes good, sometimes not. The clear boundaries of the OM container offer a wonderful sense of safety that I think is especially valuable for anyone who has experienced trauma. It also taught me to set better boundaries in general. If there was something I wanted to do with a partner, for example, I could ask for that thing specifically, set the container, and make the boundaries clear. Being able to seek out masculine energy through interactions with clearly delineated boundaries was very helpful to me during my post-break-up period. 

Attraction, Energy Awareness, and Desire-Based Living

I also began to find people more attractive in a variety of ways, both men and women. I was more vibrationally aware and better able to understand my vibrational and karmic matches with other people. Sometimes I would sense a disparity between what my mind found attractive and what my body was saying. I found myself more in my body and less in my head. I could feel the life-force energy that is orgasm flowing through me in a tangible grounded way. 

All of this was part of a broader shift toward a desire-based way of life. I was raised Christian and conditioned to feel shame at any kind of pleasure. When I learned to let myself be led by my desire, it was liberating, and I felt a lot of other things “fall away.” I was able to shed a lot of the conditioning that would tell me I “should” feel or act a certain way.

Reawakening, Intuition, and Decision-Making

I left behind the idea that I “should” want the goal-oriented, ritualized version of romance that I learned in my teenage years. When I finished my de-armoring ceremony, I felt the onset of this raw, carnal craving – a hunger that I knew was leading me away from my eight-year relationship. Even though he was a soul partner, and we remain very close, I was able to leave behind the idea that I “should” stay with him instead of pursuing this re-awakening. 

Orgasmic Meditation really drove home the idea of checking with my desire, checking with my gut, my womb. I could ask myself, Is this what I want? Is this my desire? I learned to listen to the answer and follow it. And if the answer wasn’t clear, then I could decide and trust that even if the choice didn’t align with my desire, that contrast would be helpful. By learning what I did not want, I would get better at pursuing and understanding what I did want.

Playfulness and Career Initiative

Leaving behind these “shoulds” and following desire has helped me a lot. I’ve become more playful, both in my intimate and in everyday life. I’ve found more initiative in pursuing my career desires. In general, I’ve become better at listening to that hum in my belly, in my womb, and following where it leads.

OM's Value and Healing

I know that Orgasmic Meditation has something extremely valuable to offer people. Especially people interested in awakening their deeper selves, their sleeping selves, or trying to overcome trauma. I love the safety of the OM container and the opportunity to surrender vigilance. Orgasmic Meditation provided a healing container for me that was an integral part of addressing trauma. For a long time, I played without rules and without boundaries, so being able to play within the tightly defined boundaries of OM was refreshing and instructive. Orgasmic Meditation appeals to my ceremonial desire and helps me connect with my body and what my body wants. 

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