by Stephen Nieves
I grew up in a very volatile environment where much arguing and fighting occurred. My mother seemed to pick abusive men, and her own anger and rage needed victims, so she turned her anger on us, her children. I suffered through many years of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I left home at 16 years old just to escape all of it.
This left me feeling a constant, low-level suffering. I was always sad. I felt like I was in a perpetual brain fog. I was introverted and had a lot of fear-based thinking and a lot of shame in different areas. My body felt dead inside.
A close friend told me about Orgasmic Meditation. He knew about my history and thought this practice would benefit me in a lot of ways. I was skeptical. I went to a few events but couldn’t see the healing aspect at all. Finally, I went to an event where someone shared about her own childhood trauma and how Orgasmic Meditation transformed her life. That was the catalyst. I realized there was more here than maybe I’d thought.
I was a nervous wreck during my first OM—Orgasmic Meditation—but eventually, I got grounded and became calm in my mind and body. Then, I started to sink in and felt very emotionally, mentally, and physically alive. That first OM was the first time I had ever felt alive like that, in all aspects of my being. It was an incredibly sweet sensation.
As I continued practicing Orgasmic Meditation, I saw that putting my attention anywhere else during the OM takes away from the feeling of connection. When I am in the nest, I put all of my attention on stroking the clitoris. The practice of putting my full attention on something feels good, but feeling so many sensations on top of this enhances my focus even more.
I have also taken other aspects of the practice into my life. For example, I “safeport” people when I feel like we are heading into a discussion of an intense topic. When I was helping a friend who was grieving a loss, I safeported him by asking permission to talk about his feelings. He was really grateful. He felt nobody would want to hear about his feelings. He didn’t know how to be vulnerable, but when I opened that door for him, he just let it all out.
There is very deep wisdom within Orgasmic Meditation, deeper than I really know how to express. It showed me the path of healing I had been seeking for so long and taught me how to reframe my story about the past. When I was finally able to share my story powerfully in front of people, it was liberation from the mental prison I was in. That was the day I really felt my transformation happen, but I know my healing was already activated through OM—Orgasmic Meditation.
I had created a story about my mom—from real facts, but a story nonetheless—so I could convince myself that she was an evil person. It felt different when I learned to reframe my story around her. For the first time ever, I focused on her story and what she went through in her childhood. Everything shifted in my mind. It was as if the knot tied in my emotions had come undone. I felt compassion for her. The love I had for her—love I thought was gone—re-sprouted. When we finally talked for the first time in 20 years, the conversation felt very soft. She felt gratitude for the way I was talking to her. As I spoke to her, I felt like a different person. I realized I did want a connection with her even though I had convinced myself otherwise all these years.
Orgasmic Meditation has given me the deep healing I was looking for. Now, I don’t have that low level of suffering that I used to have every day. The fog has lifted. I feel focused and clear. My mind feels lighter. All of the heavy trauma I had been carrying in my body had dissipated. Where I once felt dead inside, I now feel more alive than I’d ever dared to hope.
