Eros Platform logo

Learning to Listen to Women

by Peter

I’d been seeing this woman, Sophia. We’d been dating for three months when she went away on a business trip, and the day before she got back, I received a letter from her. This was ten years ago, but already, sending things via snail mail seemed so unusual. It got my attention. In the letter, Sophia told me about this book she’d read. It was a book that talked about this practice called Orgasmic Meditation. Sophia was eager to discover what it was like, and she added, You’re the one I want to try this with, Peter.

Discovering OM

I still have that letter somewhere. And yes, when a woman you’re dating writes to you and says she’d like to try something like this with you, you don’t turn her down. I wasn’t sure about OM for myself, but it didn’t seem like a bad thing to try. What have I got to lose? I concluded. There might be real potential here. Sophia and I had had a great intimate life up to that point, but she had made it clear she didn’t climax. I suppose I’d just accepted that, especially when she’d reassured me that it wasn’t because of anything I was or wasn’t doing.

The first several times we OMed together were a bit of a mess. It turns out we weren’t using the right lube, so after we got the correct lubricant and had our second training session, everything shifted. I could keep my finger where it needed to be, and we both started to feel the connection everyone had been talking about.

Deepening Connection

After a few weeks, it hit me that I had never listened to women as well as I was meant to. I had always thought of myself as a considerate person, but processing adjustments in the nest made me realize how often I hadn’t really heard what my partners were trying to say to me.  Both with Sophia and later in OMs with other women, this sense of connection and response to adjustments made me feel very powerful.  Not in the sense that I had power over the woman I was with – but rather that we were, together, participating in something that could release extraordinary energy. I was both a witness and participant, like a violinist in a quartet who can hear the cellist playing the same tune.

Shifting My Attention

One of the things I learned from OM was to not have so much attention on myself. Even the most sensitive and attuned men still make their own enjoyment the center of attention. When I let go of that, I could be so much more present.  

I learned that connection can have a beginning, a middle, and an end without being all about me. That was a powerful revelation, and it impacted more than just my intimate life.  In so many other places in my life, I’ve become less goal-oriented, less linear, and more connected. That connectedness shows up in every area of my life. That’s perhaps the most amazing thing about OM; it starts with shifting just one thing, and soon, your entire world is subtly transformed.

Related Stories
From Digital Isolation to Taking Risks in Life
by Nathanael Horton
I like to say that my life started at age 30. You’ll see why. I come from a unique background. My mother is from the highlands... see more
4 min Read
Learning to Connect with the Mystery
by Jeremy
If I think about why I went looking for something like OM, it all had to do with this tremendous desire to connect with women. ... see more
6 min Read
Offering Myself and My Attention
by Ethan
I started practicing Orgasmic Meditation after a six-year relationship with my girlfriend ended. I had gone on a kind of spirit... see more
6 min Read
Lit Up Like Christmas
by Jacob Fox
In my twenties, I loved being an actor. I loved being in front of a live group of people, connecting to an audience in the imme... see more
6 min Read
The Connection is Deeper than I'd Imagined
by Harry Renard
The first time I found out about Orgasmic Meditation I was on vacation in the United States. I was checking out different kinds... see more
4 min Read
The Art of Paying Attention
by Sean
I remember this particular day years ago. I picked up my wife's kids from school, gave them a snack, and started making dinner.... see more
5 min Read
From Needing to Offering
by Joshua Minna
Despite the fact that I’ve always experienced a lack of confidence in meeting the opposite sex, for some reason, I’ve always at... see more
7 min Read
A Sudden Rush of Wellbeing
by Bernie
I struggled with depression when I was a young man. I guess you’d say I was a nerd when I was in school; I was very good at mat... see more
5 min Read
The Door to the World is Within Me
by David Bridger
I grew up in a family with three brothers and no sisters, and I went to an all-boys school. Throughout my teens, until I got to... see more
4 min Read
Staying Open Through It All
by Francesca Blake
OM was not my first stop. What I mean by that is that I’d spent years studying self-improvement and self-awareness. There are s... see more
5 min Read