Eros Platform logo

I Found a Sense of Knowing

by Tony Smith

I am a man of few words. It drives some women nuts. Nevertheless, over the years, I've been in a series of relationships, including a ten-year marriage. I like being connected to someone, being open to someone who is open to me. Each of those relationships ended when its purpose had been fulfilled, and it was time to move on. Then, there was a period of fifteen years when I was single. It was difficult to find someone I was able to feel really close to. I was looking for a new relationship when a friend told me about OM - Orgasmic Meditation. 

Orgasmic Meditation as Play

My OM partner and I both felt awkward trying this new experience of Orgasmic Meditation. There was a lot for me to learn: how to position myself properly, how to stroke, how to focus my attention, and how to follow each of the steps of the OM container. Luckily, we were able to get coaching beforehand from an experienced OM practitioner, which helped us get through it successfully.

To me, OMing is like play. It's a lovely chance to make someone happy, to make them feel good, and to feel good in myself too. I've also learned a lot about women after a lifetime of trying to understand the female side of the species. I've discovered how incredibly sensitive the clitoris can be. Pleasure is different for each woman, and each one requires a different stroking technique. I've learned to be flexible when approaching an OM.

Gaining Confidence

Over time, my confidence in OMing increased, which produced a subtle change in confidence in other areas of my life. I became more aware of having qualities women can appreciate. After a few months, I OMed with a woman who I immediately felt a strong connection with. It wasn't so much a physical sensation or an emotion as a sense of knowing. Circumstances kept bringing us together, and our practice of Orgasmic Meditation gave us a reason to keep seeing each other until we started spending time together outside of OMing.

As in any relationship, we went through a number of tiny steps to deepen our connection, each one helping us feel protected enough to move to the next level. Because of OM - Orgasmic Meditation, there was an openness between us that I hadn't felt with a woman to that degree before. We were able to talk about more of our feelings and discuss the subtleties of our interactions. 

OM Communication

When someone asks another person to OM, the reply is supposed to be “Yes, thank you” or “No, thank you.” In the same way, when a strokee asks for an adjustment in how I'm stroking, I say, “Thank you.” There's no argument, just a simple acknowledgment of the other person's wishes. With my partner, I use the same practice when she says something that I take as a criticism. Instead of responding negatively, I say, “Thank you.” It helps our relationship go more smoothly and go deeper.

When the pandemic is over, I'll be interested in OMing with other strokees and seeing how the practice is different after all this time spent with my partner. Even with just the two of us, I've seen changes happen. At first, I discovered she had places on her clitoris I couldn't reach. But since then, her clitoris has opened and softened, probably because the growth in the relationship has helped her feel more secure. She's been letting go of severe traumas from her past.

Although we only met a little over a year ago, I consider this woman my life partner. Our ongoing Orgasmic Meditation - OM practice makes our relationship ever deeper and more pleasurable.

Related Stories
OM as Self-Care
by Eva
When I was seventeen, I discovered a desire for women. At university, I went crazy, meeting lots of women and having a string o... see more
5 min Read
Taking Care of Me
by Chandra Bloom
I’ve always had a gift for bringing people together. As a yoga instructor living in Los Angeles, and throughout my life, I’ve e... see more
4 min Read
Learning to Connect with the Mystery
by Jeremy
If I think about why I went looking for something like OM, it all had to do with this tremendous desire to connect with women. ... see more
6 min Read
Learning a Common Language
by Anaïs
I’d heard about Orgasmic Meditation (OM) from a man I met at a slow speed-dating event in the Bay Area, where I live. At the ti... see more
5 min Read
The Art of Paying Attention
by Sean
I remember this particular day years ago. I picked up my wife's kids from school, gave them a snack, and started making dinner.... see more
5 min Read
Craving Deeper Connection
by Kacey
I have always been curious and adventurous. When I was single and dating lots of men, I wasn't necessarily looking for love. Th... see more
6 min Read
In the Timeless Place
by Mark Gray
It was just another day at the computer programming job I'd held for over a decade. I was married, I owned a house, and my life... see more
6 min Read
The Door to the World is Within Me
by David Bridger
I grew up in a family with three brothers and no sisters, and I went to an all-boys school. Throughout my teens, until I got to... see more
4 min Read
Connection is a muscle I strengthen through OM
by Hannah
My fiancé and I found out about OM at a women’s retreat in the woods. I resonated with the container of the practice, the struc... see more
4 min Read
Permission To Be Myself
by Emilio
“I can't feel you.” It seemed like a strange thing for a girl to say. I didn't understand what she meant, but I did know she wa... see more
5 min Read