by Tony Smith
I am a man of few words. It drives some women nuts. Nevertheless, I've been in a series of relationships over the years, including a ten-year marriage. I like being connected to someone, being open to someone who is open to me. Each of those relationships ended when its purpose had been fulfilled, and it was time to move on. Then, there was a period of fifteen years when I was single. It was difficult to find someone I was able to feel really close to. I was looking for a new relationship when a friend told me about OM - Orgasmic Meditation.
My OM partner and I both felt awkward trying this new experience of Orgasmic Meditation. There was a lot for me to learn: how to position myself properly, how to stroke, how to focus my attention, and how to follow each of the steps of the OM container. Luckily, we got coaching from an experienced OM practitioner beforehand, which helped us get through it successfully.
To me, OMing is like play. It's a lovely chance to make someone happy, to make them feel good, and to feel good in myself, too. I've also learned a lot about women after a lifetime of trying to understand the female side of the species. I've discovered how incredibly sensitive the clitoris can be. Pleasure is different for each woman, requiring a different stroking technique. I've learned to be flexible when approaching an OM.
Over time, my confidence in OMing increased, which produced a subtle change in confidence in other areas of my life. I became more aware of having qualities women can appreciate. After a few months, I OMed with a woman with whom I immediately felt strongly connected. It wasn't so much a physical sensation or an emotion as a sense of knowing. Circumstances kept bringing us together, and our practice of Orgasmic Meditation gave us a reason to keep seeing each other until we started spending time together outside of OMing.
As in any relationship, we went through several tiny steps to deepen our connection, each helping us feel protected enough to move to the next level. Because of OM - Orgasmic Meditation, there was an openness between us that I hadn't felt with a woman to that degree before. We could talk about more of our feelings and discuss the subtleties of our interactions.
When someone asks another person to OM, the reply should be “Yes, thank you” or “No, thank you.” In the same way, when a strokee asks for an adjustment in how I'm stroking, I say, “Thank you.” There's no argument, just a simple acknowledgement of the other person's wishes. I use the same practice with my partner when she says something I take as a criticism. Instead of responding negatively, I say, “Thank you.” It helps our relationship go more smoothly and go deeper.
When the pandemic is over, I'll be interested in OMing with other strokees and seeing how the practice is different after all this time spent with my partner. Even with just the two of us, I've seen changes happen. At first, I discovered she had places on her clitoris I couldn't reach. But since then, her clitoris has opened and softened, probably because the growth in the relationship has helped her feel more secure. She's been letting go of severe traumas from her past.
Although we only met a little over a year ago, I consider this woman my life partner. Our ongoing Orgasmic Meditation practice makes our relationship ever deeper and more pleasurable.
