by Logan Evans
I work as a night shift concierge in an apartment building on the Upper East Side in New York City. I run a small business on the side as a magician and modify decks of playing cards for magicians. I also do card deck design work.
From my early teen years, I dealt heavily with depression. It was a dominant factor in my life for a very long time, finally reaching a peak right around the time my first marriage was ending. I stayed in that relationship for 15 years even though it was an abusive situation, and part of the reason I stayed for so long was that I thought I couldn't find anything better. I thought, “This is as good as it’s going to get.”
Everywhere I went, it felt like a dark cloud over my head. I was not seeing life or myself very clearly. There was a lot of loneliness and a lot of neediness. I finally emerged from that dark hole after I got treatment for alcohol abuse and stopped drinking back in 2007. I also started seeing a therapist regularly and started taking medication.
I got married a second time, and it wasn’t the best relationship either. Despite the second divorce in 2015, I can pretty comfortably say that I was through the depression completely. I wasn't in a situation where I desperately needed to be with someone. I had the desire for sure, but I was also comfortable being in my own company.
At that point, I was trying to find the direction in which I wanted to take my life going forward. I can honestly say that I was in a pretty happy place. I had become a martial artist practicing Aikido and was doing zazen, a Chinese sitting meditation. Some online searching led me to OM, and I signed up to learn. One of the first things I noticed about the Orgasmic Meditation practice is that the focus it gave me and the concentration I applied to each session was very similar to my martial arts and meditation practices.
The ability to notice the little things in life was not something that I ever really paid much attention to before Orgasmic Meditation. But sharing frames and experiences with my Orgasmic Meditation - OM partners is all about focusing attention, being aware of minute details, and being able to be in and respond to the moment. As a result of my practice, I’m now aware of so many more details during day-to-day activities. And it’s helped my work when consulting with other magicians about their card decks and developing my designs.
Of course, the major thing that happened when I found Orgasmic Meditation (OM) was that I also found my third wife simultaneously. She had been doing the practice for a couple of years before we met. There was such an energetic connection between us, a resonance when we OMed. There was this amazing general feeling of connection that we bonded over. Without Orgasmic Meditation, our relationship would not be the same!
I’ve been practicing Orgasmic Meditation for two years, and it's augmented my confidence. It’s expanded my circle of friends and allowed me to meet many fascinating people. I’m more comfortable talking to people now. It's also helped me find direction and start my own business.
The work that I do modifying playing cards requires a great deal of concentration. If I make one small mistake, I've ruined an entire deck of cards. When you're in the middle of an OM, you're focusing all of your attention on one thing, task, or spot. You do whatever you can to empty your mind as much as possible, and when a thought enters your mind, you embrace it, let it go, and try to return to an empty mind again. That kind of focus is not always easy to achieve in everyday life. And that is the kind of focus I need to have when doing the work I'm doing with playing cards.
Orgasmic Meditation has brought many gifts into my life, to say the least!
