by Bryan Bolt
I’m a pretty conservative business owner, and I wouldn’t call myself verbose. My baseline for communication before Orgasmic Meditation (OM) was “I’m good.” I didn’t know how to identify my feelings, let alone share them, and I didn’t understand why I should want to. OM expanded my emotional vocabulary and showed me the value of connection and communication. I love the focus and genuine connection of OM and the ability to provide a safe container for my partner. Orgasmic Meditation has also given me a new physical and verbal language, and now the people in my life finally feel seen and heard.
I grew up in Vermont and like shooting guns, hunting, and fishing. I own a business and consider myself conservative, so maybe I’m not a typical OM practitioner. I was focused on my business for a long time and didn’t do much else. Then, I started looking for a new way to connect. I wanted to find something that involved people, but not in a BS way.
At first, I attended a few Chamber of Commerce meetings and some group events and communication circles. Some of it was hippie BS, and some of it was normal society BS, but as a whole, it was all over the place—completely unfocused. I got into some promising conversations, but they were squandered; they never went anywhere, so what was the point? The valuable part dissipated, and no one was interested in following the thread.
I wasn’t great at communication, especially communicating about feelings. My emotional vocabulary ended with “I’m good” or “I’m fine.” I didn’t know how to do it and didn’t understand the depth to which other people did it. I wasn’t great at picking up on cues and didn’t have the right vocabulary. I didn’t have the “feeling language.”
I found out about Orgasmic Meditation through a Meetup. The blurb talked about improving connection and communication, which got my attention. I went to an information session, and there was intention and focus on communication and connection. Staying focused and connected seemed right to me; that seemed like what I was supposed to be doing. All of this other hippie, circling crap was just all over the place. There are just not a lot of opportunities to genuinely connect in society these days, and that’s what I wanted more of in my life.
For my first OM, I was nervous, and I didn’t know what I was doing. Then, after a while, I learned to tell when I was stroking on the spot or off the spot with the most sensation. The difference was clear as day and was completely obvious to me when I was on the spot. I also learned to communicate verbally and physically with my partner better. I started to pick up more on what my partner was feeling. For example, I realized the value in the feeling of safety the OM nest conveys, which I was oblivious to before. Safety may not really matter that much to me, but it mattered to my OM partners, and that had gone right over my head before.
Communicating better and picking up on cues in the OM nest led to better communication outside the nest. I realized I could use OM as a tool to improve my communication skills and learn to connect better. Now, in normal conversation, it’s obvious to me whether I’m “on the spot” or not. The difference between focused communication and being everywhere is crystal clear. I’ve started noticing more about my feelings, surroundings, and the people I interact with. I pick up on cues and listen actively. I’ve acquired an amazing tool – this ability to see a deeper dimension in people and situations. For the first time, my romantic partners really felt seen and heard by me, and they appreciated it. I don’t like half-assing things, so I really like the focus of OM – recognizing something valuable and focusing on it with attention and curiosity.
I’ve made some great friends through OM as well. They are friendships and connections that I genuinely value.
It’s strange – Orgasmic Meditation doesn’t really fit in with my other pastimes. I’ll go hunting one weekend, go fishing one weekend, and go stroke a woman’s genitals another. But Orgasmic Meditation (OM) gave me a whole new language – an expanded vocabulary and a greater focus on communicating and connecting with others. I’m much more aware now and much more attuned to what I’m feeling and what other people are feeling.
