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Getting Out of My Own Way

by Sharmistha

Around the time I turned 40, as a doctor in London, I was looking for more juice in my life. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, necessarily. However, I had a desire to feel more connected to my physical self and experience more pleasure in my body. 

So, I went on a journey that included bodywork, a pilgrimage to Israel, and eventually, Orgasmic Meditation. I ended up finding not just pleasure but also fulfillment and connection with a man that I deeply love. But I had to learn to go against my preferences and face my aversions to get there. I had to listen to my body instead of the critical voices in my mind.

Seeking Connection Through Pleasure

A few years ago, I left a 10-year relationship with a nice guy with whom I’m still friends but with whom there was no juice. It was very comfortable and easy because he really loved me. But it wasn’t alive, and I didn’t feel fulfilled. Partly, that was because I had never experienced a full-fledged orgasm yet with him or with anyone.

I wanted to take care of that part of myself. When you need to care for your teeth, I thought you should go to a dentist. To take care of your hair, you go to a hairdresser. I knew that I needed to take care of my sex, but I wanted to do it in a way that worked for me. I was not the kind of person who did online dating and ran around with a lot of guys. 

Connecting Beyond Physical Preferences

I was still looking for more ways to open up—and an online search led me to Orgasmic Meditation. 

My first experience with Orgasmic Meditation was a total surprise because I ended up OMing with a man who was physically the opposite of my type. He was overweight, and I felt a kind of repulsion toward him, but at the same time, I was really curious. Intuitively, I knew that he had wisdom, was experienced with OM—Orgasmic Meditation, and knew how to connect with women.

Surprising Sensations

During the 15 minutes of stroking, I felt absolutely lifted out of my body with sensation. I had tried using a vibrator before, and it was too much sensation for me. But this was different. The sensation was so amazing that I literally felt like I was moving outside my body. 

As I developed an Orgasmic Meditation practice, I spent a lot of time with this man. While I started out judging him as overweight and not my type, I eventually found myself ignoring that critical voice in my head. Something shifted in me, and I just went with the flow and the feeling rather than what I thought I should or should not do.

He wasn’t the kind of guy I would bring into my friendship circle. But on reflection, spending time with him was probably the greatest gift that I gave myself because I learned to get out of my own way. I had a lot of sensations with him, as well as a lot of heart connection. 

Connection Cultivates Emotional Intelligence

Learning to listen to my body instead of what my mind thought I should be doing was a massive shift for me. It turned out to be the very thing that allowed me to meet the man who is now my husband, Brian.

When I first met Brian—also through Orgasmic Meditation, initially—my former self would have said he was too old for me. If I hadn't had an experience of going outside my preference, I would have judged him and deleted him. Instead, I was a full “yes” to him. And now he is a man who deeply loves me, and I deeply love him.

Before Brian, I wasn’t looking to get married or even for a long-term relationship. But we started with a feeling of connection, and then there was more connection. He asked me to be in a relationship with him, and I loved that directness. It felt very natural and authentic. Brian has emotional intelligence, and he understands personal development and growth in a way that my previous husband did not. 

Thriving in Love and Connection

Practicing Orgasmic Meditation together sets us on a good path, and our relationship is a conscious one. It's “desire-led,” as we call it. We have practices where we devote time and attention to what's important to us. Of course, we have challenges—but our relationship has the right mix of challenge and support. I feel that in order to thrive, we need both.

These days, I feel very alive and very connected on both a soul and a body level. With Brian, I feel connected even when we’re apart. And I am 100 percent certain that, were it not for Orgasmic Meditation and my experience pushing past the limits of my type and my preferences, I would not have opened up to allow myself the depth of love and connection I have today. 

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