Eros Platform logo

Getting Out of My Own Way

by Sharmistha

Around the time I turned 40, as a doctor in London, I was looking for more juice in my life. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, necessarily. However, I had a desire to feel more connected to my physical self and to experience more pleasure in my body. 

So, I went on a journey that included bodywork, a pilgrimage to Israel, and eventually, Orgasmic Meditation. I ended up finding not just pleasure but also fulfillment and connection with a man that I deeply love. But to get there, I had to learn to go against my preferences and face my aversions. I had to listen to my body instead of the critical voices in my mind.

Seeking Sexual Fulfillment

A few years ago, I left a 10-year relationship with a nice guy, whom I’m still friends with but with whom there was no juice. It was very comfortable and easy because he really loved me. But it wasn’t alive, and I didn’t feel fulfilled. Partly, that was because I had never experienced a full-fledged orgasm yet with him or with anyone.

I wanted to take care of that part of myself. I thought that when you need to take care of your teeth, you should go to a dentist. To take care of your hair, you go to a hairdresser. I knew that I needed to take care of my sex, but I wanted to do it in a way that worked for me. I was not the kind of person who did online dating and ran around with a lot of guys. 

Discovering Orgasmic Meditation

I was still looking for more ways to open up—and an online search led me to Orgasmic Meditation. 

My first experience with Orgasmic Meditation was a total surprise because I ended up OMing with a man who was physically the opposite of my type. He was overweight, and I felt a kind of repulsion to him, but at the same time, I was really curious. Intuitively, I knew that he had wisdom, was experienced with OM - Orgasmic Meditation, and knew how to connect with women.

Surprising Sensations

During the 15 minutes of stroking, I felt absolutely lifted out of my body with sensation. I had tried using a vibrator before, and it was too much sensation for me. But this was different. The sensation was so amazing that I literally felt like I was moving outside my body. 

As I developed an Orgasmic Meditation practice, I spent a lot of time with this man. And while I started out with a judgment of him as overweight and not my type, I eventually found myself ignoring that critical voice in my head. Something shifted in me, and I just went with the flow and the feeling rather than what I thought I should or should not do.

He wasn’t the kind of guy I would bring into my friendship circle. But on reflection, spending time with him was probably the greatest gift that I gave myself because I learned to get out of my own way. I had a lot of sensations with him, as well as a lot of heart connection. 

Listening to the Body

Learning to listen to my body—instead of what my mind thought I ought to be doing—was a massive shift for me. And it turned out to be the very thing that allowed me to meet the man who is now my husband, Brian.

When I first met Brian—also through Orgasmic Meditation, initially—my former self would have said he was too old for me. If I hadn't had an experience of going outside my preference, I would have judged him and deleted him. Instead, I was a full “yes” to him. And now he is a man who deeply loves me, and I deeply love him.

Before Brian, I wasn’t looking to get married. I wasn't even looking for a long-term relationship. But we started with a feeling of connection, and then there was more connection. He asked me to be in a relationship with him, and I loved that directness. It felt very natural and authentic. Brian has emotional intelligence, and he understands personal development and growth in a way that my previous husband did not. 

Thriving in Love and Connection

Practicing Orgasmic Meditation together sets us on a good path, and our relationship is a conscious one. It's “desire-led,” as we call it. We have practices where we devote time and attention to what's important to us. Of course, we have challenges—but our relationship has the right mix of challenge and support. I feel that in order to thrive, we need both.

These days, I feel very alive and very connected on both a soul and a body level. With Brian, I feel connected even when we’re apart. And I am 100 percent certain that, were it not for Orgasmic Meditation and my experience pushing past the limits of my type and my preferences, I would not have opened up to allow myself the depth of love and connection I have today. 

Related Stories
I Gained So Much Confidence Through OM
by Melanie
I took society’s path in life, fulfilling everyone else’s desires about what life should look like, getting married, having a r... see more
5 min Read
Surrendering To Have It All
by David
The last 12 years of my marriage were very strained because of my business and other obligations. I became more and more hidden... see more
5 min Read
Craving Deeper Connection
by Kacey
I have always been curious and adventurous. When I was single and dating lots of men, I wasn't necessarily looking for love. Th... see more
6 min Read
So Much Tenderness
by Rhonda Adley
“Why am I numb?” I typed queries into Google, desperate for help. “How can I feel something?” But Google didn't have an answer ... see more
5 min Read
The Door to the World is Within Me
by David Bridger
I grew up in a family with three brothers and no sisters, and I went to an all-boys school. Throughout my teens, until I got to... see more
4 min Read
Frankly, I Don’t Know Who I Would Be Without OM
by Belinda Porter
The best anniversary gift my husband ever gave me was OM - Orgasmic Meditation. He discovered it and went to New York City to l... see more
5 min Read
A Strong Feminine Aspect
by Mike Duffy
My whole life has always been this sort of start-stop thing. Whenever a desire was actually met, I would get really anxious and... see more
7 min Read
My Body is a Truth Meter
by Ann Justi
I’ve always been tremendously independent and self-sufficient. I had a very good home life growing up in Los Angeles, meaning t... see more
5 min Read
Being Myself
by Joshua
I was in an elevator in downtown San Francisco with my fiancée and her friends when I realized my life needed to change.  I mad... see more
5 min Read