Eros Platform logo

Emotional Capacity

by Marshall

Before Orgasmic Meditation, my relationships with women seemed to have happened out of luck or out of left field. After many wrong moves, I’d ask someone out and do something that happened to be the right thing, and I’d end up in a relationship. I was never really sure why some women stayed longer than others. I’d keep rolling the dice, but mostly, it felt like my luck had dried up. 

After the passion and fun fizzled out in my first long-term relationship, I never really processed my feelings. I never grieved. I just disconnected from women. I was afraid of getting hurt. For the next six years, I searched for another relationship. But most of my dates felt like job interviews—dry, shallow, and boring. Most didn’t get past a first or second date. 

Discovering OM

When I found Orgasmic Meditation, I went to an introductory event. I noticed that everyone seemed magnetic, smiley, and happy. It felt so good that I signed up to learn the Orgasmic Meditation (OM) practice. It seemed like just the thing to help me get back to having connection, intimacy, and fulfillment. 

During my first OM, I started releasing a lot of feelings and emotions I’d held inside for years. The more I practiced, the more these pent-up feelings were released, and the more I could track the sensations in my body. It was such a centering experience that I decided to OM as much as I could. I kept wanting to feel more in my body and experience more depth in my emotions. 

Daily Orgasmic Meditation Practice

So, I maintained a daily practice from December 2016 to December 2017, and I started noticing I could be more present both during and after my OMs. I’d stay focused on my body and the stroke I was using, as opposed to the conversation in my head about needing to pick up groceries or something that had happened with a friend.

Since then, I’ve learned that when those voices come up, I can tell my mind, ‘That’s not what we’re doing now,’ and get back to the OM pretty quickly. In general, I feel more alive and energetic, more centered and calmer. It’s easier to be present in the moment and respond to whatever is needed. 

Cultivating Emotional Resilience

I handle my emotions way better now than before I started OMing. A year ago, if something would happen that was upsetting, confronting, or saddening, I’d go into a habitual, reactive mode in an instant. Now, if that same thing occurs, I can stop and realize it probably has little to do with me. I respond more to what’s actually going on without the knee-jerk reaction. The Orgasmic Meditation (OM) practice helped with this by deepening my capacity to hold more sensations and emotions. It’s like I’ve gone from being able to handle a cup of emotions to a gallon of emotions. I have room for someone to say what’s upsetting them without taking it personally.

One thing that helped was the process of asking for OMs. After being told “no” a number of times, I eventually realized that “no” only meant “no for now.” I’d see them the next day, and the same person would ask me to OM. Clearly, it was not about me. Before, I would have thought, ‘Oh crap, I must have messed something up.’

Energy Awareness

I’ve also learned how to follow the energy between my OM partner and myself while stroking—to tap into the energy and feel which direction it’s going. That ability has helped me feel other people in my life and track what’s happening with them outside of an OM. Feeling the energy, stroke changes, and peaks have focused my attention and helped me feel more involved in interactions with others. I feel more able to discern what’s really happening under the surface now. 

That, in combination with sharing frames—being able to put words to those sensations—has taught me to check in with myself to see what I’m feeling. Then, I can distinguish which emotions are mine and which are someone else’s. I can also sense subtler sensations during my OMs now, which allows me to be more present in life as it’s occurring. So, if I feel something from another person, I am more aware of how I want to respond. I am clearer about what’s needed or wanted in a particular situation. 

Slowing Down and Self-Reflection

I’ve also learned to slow down. I used to always be on the go as a way to avoid confronting emotions and sensations. I would constantly focus on the next thing to do or dwell on how angry I was about something in the past. Now, if I notice I am tight or judgmental, I slow down and ask myself questions like, ‘What’s really going on?’ When I notice an emotion is diverting my attention, instead of distracting myself from feeling it, I slow down and ask, ‘Is there something I need? Something I want to do?’

Adjustments have helped guide me through that learning process by highlighting all of the spots where I move too fast. When I receive an adjustment, I often feel more sensation and a heightened sense of connection. Taking adjustments has also helped me realize that it’s okay to not get a stroke right the first time. I can always change it. Orgasmic Meditation is an exploration of connection more than it is something to ‘get right.’ 

Acceptance and Confidence

That has given me a lot more acceptance and approval for where I am in my life. It’s a whole lot easier for me to relax and be confident about being myself now, thanks to OM. I no longer try to contort myself into someone else’s expectations. I’m no longer petrified of doing the wrong thing. I listen to my desires to make choices. 

Yesterday, I had my first date in three years. It was beautifully simple. I could feel a warm electric connection the entire time. As the sensation was building, she began talking faster. I turned and looked into her eyes as if to say, ‘It’s okay to slow down and feel.’ She stopped talking, gazed back, and then gave me a hug.

That date would never have happened before I started OMing. I just would not have been that tuned in and connected. I certainly could not have wordlessly communicated, ‘Just stop and feel.’ And yes, there will be a second date.

Related Stories
Pain Doesn’t Mean Bad
by Edwina Finch
I found an advert for Orgasmic Meditation on a spiritual singles website in 2012, and I knew I wanted to try the practice. I ju... see more
4 min Read
Exquisitely Alive
by Lucy Egg
When I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation, I could relate to it a lot, but I didn’t do anything about it at first. About fiv... see more
4 min Read
Surrendering To Have It All
by David
The last 12 years of my marriage were very strained because of my business and other obligations. I became more and more hidden... see more
5 min Read
Seeing That What I Wanted Was In Front of Me
by Lalen Nishigori
Before I discovered Orgasmic Meditation, I was living in a constant state of seeking something that would make me feel whole, c... see more
7 min Read
Rediscovering Trust and Connection
by Dan
My life was in a nosedive. I was working two jobs, struggling with feelings of chaos and lack of control, and losing my grip on... see more
6 min Read
Not-Enoughness Became Confidence & Value
by Jessica Locquet
A couple of years ago, I was at the Bulletproof conference here in Los Angeles when a guy approached me and some friends to inv... see more
5 min Read
The Power of Slowing Down
by Timothy Monroe
I Used To Rush Through Life, But Practicing OM Showed Me How To Slow Down, Be Present, And Deepen My Relationships. see more
4 min Read
A Deeper Comfort With Who I Am
by Nate Leon
I Feel Seen And Appreciated For The First Time In My Life, Surrounded By Great People Who Truly Value Me. OM Changed Everything. see more
4 min Read
Less Need for External Validation
by Martin
OM Taught Me The Practice Of Letting Go, Allowing Me To Be Present In The Moment Rather Than Striving For Perfection. see more
5 min Read