by Marina
I had a client I was going to suggest Orgasmic Meditation (OM) to but I realized I first should try it myself. I went to a course to learn the practice, and what I didn't expect was it put me in touch with my feelings in regard to my own relationship with my marriage. I had been cheated on, and I felt out of control.
It was getting difficult at the end of my marriage, and I had a lot of sexual depression over it. I knew I had to do something for myself. I tried OM for the first time and decided to try it again because the experience left me so open. I had this feeling of being very beautifully naked. I knew then I wanted to always be honest in my life. The first time with Orgasmic Meditation, I felt safe in the container that was created for the practice. I had thought it was dangerous to play with such high energy, and I needed to feel safe letting go.
Then, I was diagnosed with cancer, and my OM practice was slowed down because of my treatments, but at the same time, it was my OM practice that helped because of the sense of belonging and the connections I had made through OM. I don’t think I was ever scared in OM. I felt like something happening to me was FOR me.
When I came back to Orgasmic Meditation and began developing a practice around it, it helped me heal some of the shame I had with my body because it allowed me to become comfortable with being exposed. I didn’t feel discomfort so much because it was a safe place, but being exposed for me was not about that, about uncovering something new. It was more about realizing and exposing what was already there. It was something that was a big surprise to me. I was absolutely astonished that I was able to do it.
I owe my confidence in doing things I never thought I could to OM. It is always there, that confidence, but with OM, I could see it. I already knew this, but when I tried it, it was really profound. It is becoming what I already am. That is what Orgasmic Meditation did for me. It taught me about feeling and paying attention to small changes and shifts in my body and to the sensations I am experiencing. I learned more about those subtleties, and I am much more humble now.
I have more respect now for my body, and realizing that my body is alive, and I am clearer distinguishing between my body and my head. I am more aware of the sensitivity of my own skin, of my whole body. I felt like I couldn’t reach my own body before, but now I can ask my body! I learned that when I want to know an answer, I can go deep in my mind to find it. It took some time, and this is still growing despite my not OMing all the time because of my situation right now. But the connection is always there.
