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Accepting My Own Feelings

by Chance

It took me a while to realize that OM is a distillation of life itself – just life in miniature, compressed into 15 minutes.

Orgasmic Meditation Is Not About Climax

When I first thought about the phrase Orgasmic Meditation, I was focused pretty heavily on the orgasm part.  That was what held my interest, and I am sure I’m not alone in that.  But the meditative aspect of stroking has grown more and more important to me. I was stroking a partner recently and listening to her direction. I was implementing her desires, yet I had control over just how light my touch was on her clitoris.  Even in trying to do as exactly as I’m told, there’s so much room for me to be an individual and bring myself to the practice. 

Transforming Male Relationships

I came to OM anxious for better relationships with women. What I didn’t expect was that OM would transform my relationships with men.  I tended to see men as buddies or rivals.  It was so hard to get close to them.  Friendships with men who OM are so different. There’s a depth, a connectedness, and a willingness to get close that I’ve never found with any other group of guys.  No one jockeys for the alpha position; no one plays the tough guy or refuses to get serious. When I connect with other men who OM, we can be intimate and push each other to grow.  All that competitive stuff that infests so many other spaces doesn’t exist so much with these men, and that’s rare and precious.

OM’s Impact on Daily Life

OM has changed my life outside the practice, too.  I had a good reminder of how much OM has shifted things for me recently at work.  My regular manager was out, and this new guy was in.  I had an instant, visceral negative reaction to him.  My body told me, “I don’t like this guy.”  Normally, I would try to force myself to like him.  Instead, I just accepted it.  I didn’t let it ruin my day. 

Beyond Sexual Attraction

The exact same process happens around sexual attraction for me now.  If I meet a woman and there’s no mutual sexual interest, I note that – but I don’t let that block me from connecting with her in another way.  Some of the best OM experiences, for example, happen where there is no attraction. OM is not sex, after all.  On the other hand, if you are attracted to someone in OM, you can take note of that feeling without being run by it.  Sometimes, I experience intense desire while OMing with someone.  That’s fine, just as the absence of that feeling is equally fine.  It just is what it is. Once you accept your feelings as perfectly okay, whatever they are, be they feelings of attraction repulsion, or neutrality, you take a lot of the weirdness out of interacting with other people.  If you accept your own reactions, other people will feel it too and be able to relax.  And man, that’s really a better way to walk around in this world.

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