Eros Platform logo

A Union of Logic and Emotion

by Steve Lynn

Before I discovered Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I would go on dates, but I couldn’t connect emotionally with women, even with my girlfriend. I would have a hard time asking how to please them and always felt like it was my fault if I didn’t do something right. There was always this lack of communication. I was more logical than emotional, operating based on my mind.

Emotional Numbness

This kind of logical approach kept intimacy out of the relationship. It felt like when I was in the military, I had to be a tough guy, like men can’t cry. In the sheriff’s department, where I was working, it was the same expectation. I was a super tough guy, and I was always the fighter in that whole lover vs. fighter thing. I had a lack of passion in my relationships. I would pinch myself so I wouldn’t have to feel any emotional pain.

You know something is there, emotionally, and if you numb or isolate one part of yourself, you numb your whole self. My father died when I was really young, and so I was raised by my mom, who had to work all the time. I was by myself a lot, to run around and be mischievous. I didn’t have much supervision growing up. I then went into the military, the Marines, and it gave me the structure I didn’t have growing up and provided a good sense of organization and having masculine figures in my life. So, all my life, I have been told that men don’t cry.

I thought that if men can’t cry, what can’t women do? I figured it was that women can’t have sex anytime they want. There is always emotion attached. That was burned into my mind, that women didn’t want sex. I knew they did, but that it was emotional. Then I read this book where women were super sexual but cut off from what they wanted, and I realized men were cutting themselves off from emotion, too. I wondered if I would ever be able to connect, and I knew there was something wrong, but knowing how much women were held back, how could I fix the issue or find a solution? 

Connection and Engagement

I found Orgasmic Meditation when a friend and her roommate invited me to their house for a party. I was trying to open myself up to trying new things. I had no idea what it was, so when my friend described it to me, I was interested and asked how it worked. She gave me someone’s number, and I texted and took a course. I was interested in the sexual aspect of women doing this practice. 

My first OM was nerve-wracking because I didn’t know what I was doing, and I kept asking myself, “Am I bad at this?” But it was a great learning experience because of the required concentration, energy, and focus. It took a lot of energy to focus on her, and I realized I didn’t know anything about connecting with a woman. This was so different; it was about really connecting, being with someone, and sensing their energy.

When I would give my partner offers, it felt engaging. It felt like we were connecting as one, which was an enlightening experience. I was able to have fewer misreadings and better calibration of my own energy with my partner’s desires. My partner said, "This is what I want," which also makes for a very deep connection. 

As time went on, I learned to sense my partner more. When I first started, I figured the more mistakes I made, the faster I would learn. It was like any kind of skill training, and, initially, it took a lot of focus and concentration, but as it went on, I could sense my partner’s energy and could focus on that and where she was going with it. I would become calmer because the focus was on her and the energy between us, not what I thought.

Emotional Intuition

In one experience, as soon as I placed my hand on my partner, I could feel her nervousness. I could sense it. I took a deep breath and intentionally calmed down. Then, she relaxed. 

Since starting this practice, I can feel my emotions now, and I do cry much more. I realized my inability to cry or feel before was all my doing. I can connect and not always have to be this super masculine man to get a woman. I cried last week at a movie. I feel more balanced now. I am able to express my emotions so much more. It is less stressful, not always trying to put on the tough guy thing, and it allows me to relax a lot more. It feels like I have a lot more freedom of expression. I also seem to have more of a sixth sense, where I’ll wonder how someone is doing, and they will call or text. I can now have more emotional intuition with people, an emotional sense of something that I even use at work, too, to help with an investigation. It helps me evaluate when interviewing a suspect because I can hone in on the emotional energy. Logically, it might look one way, but my emotional intuition will tell me something else is happening. I am able to use and experience both logic and emotion now.

Related Stories
I Am More Soft, Open, & Vulnerable
by Agneta Sorenson
People see me as a conventional, polite, good-looking Danish woman. When I was younger, people would say things like, “Oh, you’... see more
6 min Read
Opening to Communication
by Patrick
My biggest challenge with dating used to be a lack of communication skills. Plus, I was working quite a lot in the music and en... see more
5 min Read
Factoring in Feeling & Intuition
by Peter
I’ve always been very practical and mechanical, and I used to value logic over emotion. What society thought was the right thin... see more
4 min Read
Filling the Intimacy Void
by Wahome
When I was growing up, I was bullied severely. I was extremely overweight and wasn’t close with anyone. By my second year at un... see more
6 min Read
Learning to Go With the Flow
by Franck
I used to be a kind of introverted geek, not in touch with my feelings, unaware of my body, very cerebral and in my head. And y... see more
5 min Read
I Am A Feminine Person
by Blaire Cortilla
From the time I was little, I wanted to be close to women. I want to begin my story with that, because that’s tied into everyth... see more
7 min Read
Emotional Capacity
by Marshall
Before Orgasmic Meditation, my relationships with women seemed to have happened out of luck or out of left field. After many wr... see more
6 min Read
The Power of Being in the Present
by Ross Edwards
Before I discovered Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I was blessed to have been raised by two great parents. I had a wonderful childho... see more
5 min Read
OM is Just As Much For Men As For Women
by Van Pato
Before OM - Orgasmic Meditation, I had been through three divorces, and I was convinced I was broken and that I would never mak... see more
5 min Read
A Deeper Comfort With Who I Am
by Nate Leon
I was a sensitive kid. It was easy to make me cry, and that seemed to disappoint my parents. The men in my family all seemed st... see more
4 min Read