by Mercedes
Back in 2014, I had a lot of emotional release to do. I was mourning the breakup of a codependent relationship. I didn't know how to love myself or know if there was a place for me. I’d joined a women's community, which had become a wonderful source of support. I’d heard about Orgasmic Meditation in 2007, but I was a little afraid of the practice and didn’t get into it. But then, seven years later, I kept seeing all these women in the community I'd joined who were flourishing and walking around with this glow. And every time I would check in with one of them, they would tell me they were OMing and having all these transformations.
I still wasn't sure Orgasmic Meditation was suitable for me. To be honest, I didn't feel safe at the time. However, one woman friend, in particular, was very supportive. She said, “I will go with you. We'll do it together.” And we did.
It sounds strange, but OMing permitted me not to have to orgasm. It taught me that orgasm wasn't the main point. It’s nice, but to fully enjoy my body’s range of sensations couldn’t be all about getting to the finish line. Also, I grew up Catholic, so there was all this hidden guilt around anything with genitals that I carried. Orgasmic Meditation gave me permission to explore my sensuality. It gave me permission to explore my body. And that changed my life.
There were women I knew who were OMing, women I trusted. The way the practice is set up has protocols and boundaries. And it was the boundaries that helped me feel safe and secure. All that gave me the comfort and the freedom to let loose and go for it. I built friendships with a few consistent partners with whom I kept OMing. Once we were in that environment, in the nest, it was just about two souls doing an energy exchange, a beautiful situation of receiving and giving.
Eventually, I moved and stopped OMing because it was just too far to travel to OM with anyone. But the practice was life-changing for me. Aside from learning to relax and enjoy my body without an end goal in mind, I know the practice also boosted my confidence. I felt all this newfound freedom—a newfound me. And somehow, this newfound me knew it was okay to say goodbye to a relationship I was holding onto.
Before that, I was afraid that I wouldn't find someone better. But then that feeling just disappeared. I knew that someone better would come my way. I knew I could be me and that I could enjoy myself. I could date if I wanted to. I could be alone if I wanted to and be okay with it. I didn't have to be in a relationship and be afraid of what people would think of me if I wasn’t. It took away all that.
That acceptance has spread all through my life. And that has been freeing.
