Restoring My Sensitivity

by Jo

I had been abstinent for about a month when I came across Orgasmic Meditation. I had grown tired of the nightclubs, of the drug- and alcohol-fueled social interactions and one-night stands. I wanted something different for my life. 

I first heard about it from a guy. What he said about the practice caught my eye. He described OM as being about connecting and exploring intimacy through partnered meditation. He further explained that there were no expectations for the practice, other than to feel. 

When I walked into my introductory class, I met women that were fully in their power, and I had never seen that before. I knew that I wanted that power for myself. I had an OM right after the class, and it was mind blowing. From the first moment that the finger went down on my clitoris, I was like, “wow.” My genitals had only been touched when I was drunk or on drugs before, and it became quickly apparent that, as a result, the sensation of being touched there had always been numbed. My real hunger to be deeply touched had therefore also been suppressed for many years. 

I was willing to experiment with OM from the very beginning because I knew it was a practice. I could tell there was something so much deeper about OM than could be perceived on the surface. So I took the deep dive and began to fill up, practicing as regularly as I could. Gradually, I began to open up, and the benefits of that became palpable in my everyday life. 

One of the early shifts that occurred was in my relationship to anger. Before OM, I would get angry about little things but not express it at all. I would just burn a hot fuse inside and hold it in for a long time. I couldn’t let things go. But the more I OMed, the more I began to observe my anger and frustration as they arose in real time. I learned to meet those feelings with love and kindness rather than resentment. 

I also became more comfortable in my body. Something about being seen so intimately in an OM helped me find comfort in even the most uncomfortable moments. It felt like a big thing to get comfortable in my own body. When something doesn’t feel good, I’m now able to connect with my body and listen to what she says. 

I eventually decided to give up drugs and alcohol. I had been a sensitive child, and I had covered that sensitivity with quite a hedonistic lifestyle. But OM restored my ability to feel. It was like coming home. 

I began to consciously connect with men for the first time, and it put the fake bubble of nightclubs into stark relief. When I experienced the depth of connection that was possible in OM, I thought to myself, “This is what it’s like to really connect.” It is raw, vulnerable, and intimate. 

OM has given me so much. My life is now led by desire, and my attention is always on my passion rather than on society’s expectations. OM taps into the mental, emotional, and spiritual – and you know how they say we only use 30% of our brain? I think OM has given me access to more. Deeper levels of focus, attention, and power, as well as the ability to expand and operate on more levels of life than I’d ever thought possible.

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