Published May, 2024
When our identity—the face of the tumescent mind—is threatened by good,
Good can take many forms, from a sudden increase in intimacy between two people to self-actualization in purpose. Instead of welcoming growth, the tumescent mind is interested only in maintaining the status quo and will seek to reestablish its balance.
To the tumescent mind, fresh goodness in our lives is a threat so destabilizing that it marshals all its resources in order to convince us to turn against or demonize the source of the good. The tumescent mind then begins to collect selective evidence supporting the notion that there is imminent danger. The truth is, to the tumescent mind, this good is in fact dangerous; however, the danger it presents is to the tumescent mind and not the self.
The experience of good entering our lives begins with a feeling of being outside the bounds of our skin—a radical and perhaps unfamiliar sense of opening, a sensing of potential, not before known or experienced. This is a good point to stop and acknowledge. It is a deliberate way of coming down so we do not fly too far out of the range of consciousness. If we do not come down, the mind will go out seeking threats and we are off to the races. And because threats always exist, the mind will find them. Once found, the downward spiral will begin.
The moment our identity’s having level—the capacity to digest good—is breached, the tumescent mind initiates a process whereby it goes about artfully evoking negative behavior from whatever is threatening it in the same way a musician would evoke sound by plucking a string. In a scenario where connection is involved,
which would, in turn, support the idea this person or activity must be avoided or escaped. Once this cycle is activated, it is very difficult to deactivate and will run until it exhausts itself. This cycle will draw in whatever power source it can to siphon from.
The key is to understand it always starts due to something positive. If we can follow the inner thread back to that point and acknowledge the good —the acknowledgment being the release valve rather than the reactivity—we can then integrate the positive experience and soften the behavior.
