Eros Platform logo
Blog Post

The Erotic Mind Destabilizes the Homeostatic Self

Published May, 2024

Buy The Book Here

In its preference for familiarity and the comfortable middle ground, the homeostatic self relates to the present in terms of the past. It is like a graveyard of obsolete experiences and foregone conclusions. Then the Erotic mind blows in—this raw, unimpeded life force—disturbing the graves and raising the dead. It is scary. Eros is inherently destabilizing. The identity feels threatened by the energy of Eros in its free-floating state. Our first attempt to restore order is usually to supply a direct object as an anchor: a specific person, thing, or condition desired.

Voices of Caution 

As our mind begins the calculus of acquisition, we may hear a variety of voices telling us to turn back. This signals that the object lies outside our current bandwidth. We may explain our anxiety by telling ourselves stories about the dire consequences of pursuing or attaining the object. But the stories are an afterthought; what unsettles us so greatly is not so much the object of desire as the energy of Eros itself in its free-floating state. Free-floating Eros—desire that has not fixated on an object—is the most poignant of pleasures. We feel awakened, thrilled, and fully alive.

human suffering desires

The Struggle with Pleasure

Yet, something in us cannot wait for the thrill to be over, for Eros to depart and allow us to return to normal. Pleasure is as hard for us to endure as pain. Perhaps even more so. Somehow, it is easier for us to dwell on our complaints than to linger over our delights. Complaints reinforce our boundaries while desire blows holes in them. To yearn is to admit our identity is incomplete and our conclusions inconclusive.

Desire's True Nature  

This is what desire itself desires: It wants to break up the solidified self and bring us back into a fluid state so we are in closer alignment with how nature works. It wants to free us from the layers of familiar thought we have come to mistake for who we truly are. 

— The real culprit in human suffering is not desire but one of its impostors: fixation. —

When we believe desire is caused by its object, only that particular object will do. Nothing else appeals to us. Nothing else has the power to delight us.

Dangers of Fixation 

We become single-minded and inflexible in our obsession with acquiring it. The gap between desiring and attaining fills up with agitation. If we are severely fixated, we may end up harming ourselves, others, or even the object itself with the forcefulness of our grasping. We forget that we ourselves have cast the spell that is enchanting us, that we gave the object the power it seems to wield.

Misunderstanding Desire  

All of the harms that get blamed on desire—overindulgence, craving, addiction, obsession, exploitation, greed—can be traced to this fundamental confusion. When we get into a harmful state like craving or addiction, we experience ourselves as out of control. The paradox is: Fixation arises from being too controlling. Desire has a quality of leaning forward, of moving out of ourselves, out of a sense of static self-sufficiency. Something in us is afraid of losing our balance if we lean out too far; it’s as if we are trying to steady ourselves by grasping onto the object of our desire. Fixating is a way of making the situation stable and predictable.

— If we are obsessed or addicted, we can expect to feel tomorrow exactly the way we feel today. —

Buy The Eros Sutras Vol. 1 Here

Related Sutras:

Sutra 18 | Desire Is Demonstrated by Attainment

Sutra 19 | Desire Is Your True North

Sutra 21 | The Erotic Order

Related Posts:

Exploring Feminine Spirituality and the Divine Feminine

Feminine Spirituality, Art and Creativity

Related Experiences
Climax and Desire
Buy The Book Here ( On the path of Eros, we note the distinctions between various expressions of consciousness and the treatment of desire that issues from each. The forms of desire described here are native to Eros. They a...
Compensations for Desire
Buy The Book Here ( A gap forms in our consciousness when we lack intimacy between ourselves and our desire. We find ourselves unplugged from our power source. In the same way the loss of a limb gives rise to a phantom, we ...
Fears We Have About Desire
Buy The Book Here ( In our efforts to align and be moved by this dynamic side of the profound, fears may naturally arise. Fear is always borne of the unknown and desire always draws us toward it. The two can have a tumultuo...
The Erotic Order
Buy The Book Here ( If the solution in Eros is always connection, then what is the path to connection? On the path of Eros, what moves us and what we are moved by is desire. Desire is the fuel, movement, and aim of this rea...
Eros Guides Through the Felt Sense
Buy The Book Here ( There is the presumption that there would be a bacchanalian free-for-all if we did not legislate all our behavior. But this is the result of a deep-seated misperception that occurs when we don’t understa...
An Experiential Path, Not Renunciation
Buy The Book Here ( Eros is the foundation of all work, but primarily, it is the foundation of working with conditioned patterns. The way the path of Eros works is not by ascending above our lives and avoiding the chaos and...
Lawless Laws
Buy The Book Here ( Eros is dynamic flow. Eros is also structured in a set of lawless laws it rigorously adheres to. We recognize and familiarize ourselves with this structure and these laws in order to enter into Eros. It ...
Desire Uses Us
Buy The Book Here ( The ways we relate to desire reveal how we perceive it. Do we regard it as something troublesome we engage with in a struggle for control? Or something we can no longer resist due to a weakness in our ch...

Sign Up and Join Us
Already have an account? Sign In
You must use your real name. You can read more in our Community Guidelines.
10 or more characters