Published May, 2024
The spot is truth, pure and simple. It is the spot of highest sensation, of most resonance. When felt in the body, it cannot be faked. In conversation, it is the moment when the unspeakable has just been spoken, the lighting shifts, and a different type of illumination happens. A connection is made underneath the words. The tenor changes and we feel the resonance in our bodies, like a gong. We know when we hit it, and we are nailed.
This is where we come fully alive. The spot is not about laws handed down from on-high; it is about the physical texture of existence. It is visceral, energetic, and immediate. In our practice, we seek to “be on the spot,” and nowhere else.
However, the feeling of not being on the spot, even if it seems incredible, amazing, and exciting, always has a subtle “off-ness.” Something is inconsonant about the moment, and we cannot sink in, let go, and relax.
There are two ways to respond to this discomfort. The first is to rationalize and justify why we have ended the search for the spot, demonize the search, and then look to the material world to supply what’s missing because we’re off the spot. The other way is to relentlessly and faithfully search for the spot. To be willing to say no to all of the possible not-quite-it alternatives. To go through iteration after iteration until we finally find it.
Finding the spot in connection is even more difficult. It is a moving target. It is dynamic, but it is definite. More definite than we are comfortable with. The spot is the point of highest sensation. It is raw and unprocessed. True sensation in a control-based world invariably feels inappropriate.
Speaking truth is reliably painful, because in order to get there we must move through any untruth in our soul. We need to be honest to get there. It’s like opening a hand that has been clenched tight forever. It hurts at first. But we have to learn to open it in order to reveal the truth. Eros requires this from us—the spot where we realize our truest, deepest best.
