Published May, 2024
Because we disregard the principle of nature and the truth of interconnection—that all things are interdependent, that all things and people are mutually influencing—our concept of “self” and our place in the world gets confused. We both overvalue and undervalue our impact, trying to mitigate each with artificial commands to be more or less of something, rather than do the real and only work of allowing ourselves to see reality with clean eyes. When we let ourselves see how consciousness has split—how it swings like a pendulum back and forth between overvaluing and undervaluing our effect on the environment and those around us—it self-resolves.
As we try to break the fall, our consciousness will follow a predictable pattern of pride, shame, and false humility. Initially, we will want to save face and play down whatever was exposed. But there is no need to shave down pride.
This is itself a prideful act—one of using our will to try and obscure what was seen about us—which is simply pride dressed up as humility. Pride in protest that it got caught, and using the energy of the attention received to keep the tumescent mind entertained with self-thought. Only now the self-thought is negative rather than positive. Trying to amend pride through self-admonishing or to amend shame through “positive thinking” is like trying to cure being electrocuted by increasing amperage. More thought will not cure thinking. Positive thinking does not cancel out negative thinking nor does beating ourselves up cure pride and self-involvement. No one ever healed their wounds by punishing themselves for having them.
We heal a wound by letting the body do what it does, by engaging the involuntary healing mechanisms. We heal psychic wounds in the same way, by dropping consciousness down into the body, not by chasing our tail with increasing speed and intensity trying to outrun ourselves.
From seeing ourselves as a speck in the universe, to overemphasizing the fact that there is no “self.” The cure for overvaluing is not undervaluing, it is valuing. The cure for “invisibility,” powerlessness, and learned helplessness is not donning a mantle of “empowerment.” It is not “rising to power,” as power is not above us. It is by immersion into and being with true power.
It is joining into the self-organizing world of power where all things simply take their right place when the artificial forces placed upon them are withdrawn.
This is the realization of humility. It is not that we do not matter. Every thought we have, action we take, and sensation we emit and feel is of utmost consequence; it impacts and affects everyone. There is no escaping this fact. There is no hiding place, no shame we can cover ourselves in so that our impact is not felt by everyone. There is no isolation we can withdraw into.
There is no severing of connection, no bridge we can burn, no faction we can create to rise up against. There is simply no way to mitigate or escape the call of our souls to realize the deep truth that we are going to impact the world around us whether or not we choose to accept the mantle of becoming more of who we are. We will affect people by having them feel our absence, by having them feel our part missing, by having our internalized silence and anger stink up the room. We will affect people by having them feel our off-the-spotness and how that scrambles the flow of Erotic energy.
We will have them feel how out of attunement we are, justifying it by saying we are exploring “our way,” which we all know cannot be correct, because “we” are part of a whole and if we adequately explored our way it would bring us to that understanding.
It is our responsibility to do the work to discover the clarity, the happiness, the full expression of who we are. It is not an indulgence we get to have after we handle survival, after we deal with the material world. It is the fundamental reason we are on the planet.
We do not get to say we are too broke, too oppressed, too invisible, too much an outsider, too burdened, too addicted, too hopeless, helpless or worthless, too insignificant. We don’t get to use our insignificance as a way of bolstering our significance. We realize our worth and value in one way and one way only—and that is the full potentiation of the force inside of us. It could be added “and the sharing of such” but that is implicit in the realization of our true worth. To say we do not matter is to justify sloth with drama. There is absolutely nothing humble about it.
It is the removal and withdrawal of a mind that would have to engage in order to discover its true value and is instead relying on the self-importance of not mattering and further justification of the behaviors that follow thereafter. Again, this cannot be counteracted by going to “high-vibration” thoughts, by positive thinking, by spiritual behaviors such as forgiveness or gratitude. Those are the result of the real and only work there is, which is the submission of consciousness to the body.
If we are perpetually listening to or engaging with “high-vibration” material in order to keep the mind clear, it is not in fact clear; it is addicted to remaining on one frequency and becomes a weapon against the connection of what is here and now and a way of avoiding learning our own frequencies—what we are here to bring—and receiving the frequencies around us. In other words, addiction to positivity scrambles the frequency of truth for all. It has us never learn to face and develop the fortitude to be with the lower frequencies. Therefore, we must reject and disengage from half of the world because we refuse to learn how to love, be with, and use those forces for benefit.
What happens is, we only develop and welcome the upper registers, and thus take an aggressive stance toward the lower registers that demand resilience. We call them bad or evil, we make demands that we and others not go there, we diminish or call them less, we say we are being “healthy” when it is really avoidance.
However, it is simply that we do not know how to truly be with the difficulties of life, the violations, the transgressions in a way that can find the power in and then power with and convert these unbearable difficulties into dynamic power and love.
Instead, we grip to the wings of higher frequency, fly above life, and yell down our demands about how it should be other than it is. And then we wonder why it does not welcome us with open arms. Those who cannot be with low frequencies have no empathy or self-reflection.
If they do make admissions, it is either to get out of trouble or as an unexamined admission without the heart of vulnerability, like reading a headline to get it over with then offering a “well I did my part.” But there is no integrity because through those shallow admissions, the person never changes. Mostly though, people who cannot descend live in defense, always giving evidence to either themselves or others as to why they are right. They forget the spot is incontrovertible. The pendulum then usually swings—when we run out of the high-frequency intoxicant—to the low-frequency intoxicant of “I don’t matter.”
This intoxicant includes two sub-statements of “You are responsible for my misery”—both communicated overtly and covertly to individuals and the whole—and “I deserve.” And we can add any host of justifications for “my way” of action or inaction “to feel and do whatever I want.” Not only is that “deserving” not our right, it is our prison. At the same time, our gifts do matter and we are not permitted to withhold them from the collective because we are caught up in these extreme views that do not accurately reflect who we are.
Everything we do matters. Everything we do is of extraordinary consequence first and foremost to us and who we are and want to be, and to the whole. Our indulgences matter, our shortcuts matter, our holding out matters, our hiding out matters, our indulging our fear matters, our internal stance of againstness matters, our complaint matters. Our “yeah but” matters. Our sob story matters. Our refusal to be happy matters. On the other hand, our pretending to be happy matters, our pumping it up in order to stay happy outside of connection matters.
There is a law that cannot change: What is within us, not merely how we act or what we say, but how realized our interior world is—that thing that cannot be faked and the only type of happiness that exists as a result of it—is contagious. When we are not realizing our potential, the ensuing tumescence is contagious unless the people around us have the capacity to convert it. But everyone is affected.
When we are in the act of realizing our potential, when we have made the fundamental decision to be a force for true happiness on the planet starting with ourselves, then despite mistakes, despite uncertainty, we become a clarifying force and the nutrient that we are is released into the whole to fortify the system of humanity. There is no charity, no social work we can do that is more important than our becoming who we are. Those are often compensations for not doing the true work.
We would be better off doing a small, invisible act of realizing self than we would be to organize an entire world of do-gooding. When we see another in the full majesty of their realization, who are we there? Are we someone who says, “Look, it can be done, they can realize who they are, and that shows that so can I”? Or are we someone who compares, who tries to emulate them by trying to be them, abandoning the work of becoming ourselves? Do we rest in the fact that it is being handled so we can hang back? Do we use it as a way to justify why we can’t be ourselves, maybe by saying there is a scarcity, a way that by them being themselves prevents us from being ourselves rather than seeing the us-sized invitation that is created that only we can fit into?
To show up engaged in the activity of realization cannot be faked. We always know it when we see it, feel it, or are it. And the truth is, even those who seemingly benefit from our actions, they know, too. To be clear, everyone always knows. Even if we are receiving all the kudos of the world, we know the truth. And if we are being beaten to a pulp by the world, we know the truth.
It is then no feel-good assertion that we have unimaginable power in our hands, in our life, with our circumstances exactly as they are. Nor is it one to overwhelm us, where we feel we have an obligation and should pretend better, more, and faster. It is a sobering truth aimed to call us down into the depths of our soul, the only place that knows what to do with this amount of power. The place that can see the radical impact we have on this world and can guide us to have that be for the benefit of all—including ourselves.
It is a truth we sit inside of. We see we have the potential to organically—by being who we are, fully who we are, without shortcuts or cutting corners, in our full expression, not having to be good or act good but not allowing any compensation either, just by doing what we are on the planet to do—bring Erotic order to an entire system.
Or we can be the opposite. Our essence expressed is a force of deliverance, and when unexpressed, it’s a force of disorder.
