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Women, Boundaries, and Growth: My Orgasmic Meditation Story

Published December, 2023
by Eva

Soft draped textiles in peaceful neutrals capture the graceful flow of women's meditation practice

When I was seventeen, I discovered a desire for women. At university, I went crazy, meeting lots of women and having a string of monogamous relationships, alternating with periods of being single. I went to lesbian bars, trying to find women I had something in common with, yearning for a strong sense of connection. 

Since I was pretty insecure, I used different tactics to initiate intimacy. If I wanted to check out a woman, I would get my best friend, Maureen, to go over and find out whether she was gay. Then Maureen would say, “My friend fancies you,” and that was how I found my second girlfriend. When I was alone, I'd approach women with an innocuous question. “What time does the bar close?” “Where’s the toilet?” I’d often leave a bar feeling empty and alone at the end of the night.

Women and Competition

My job with an Internet company was high-pressure. Being a woman in tech is not easy, and I was eager to climb the ladder, wanting to impress. Often, when I went to bars with my friend Jenna, she would end up with women who were slightly better-looking and higher on the career ladder, and I would get her cast-offs. So there was that undercurrent of competitiveness, in my professional and personal lives, the feeling of not being quite good enough. When I did find someone I thought was more desirable, I’d put her on a pedestal. If I lost my job or if she met someone who seemed like a better fit, my ego would be completely slammed, and the relationship would crash and burn.

When I left England for the U.S., my perspective expanded as I discovered a new world of self-awareness work and met people with open relationships. An intense partnership with an American woman fell apart, leaving me feeling betrayed and heartbroken. I decided to reroute the pain into self-exploration, take a timeout, and try to change the direction of my life. That’s when a friend introduced me to OM—Orgasmic Meditation. I had challenged myself to a sex sabbatical. I'd moved away from the lesbian bars and was trying to explore my mind differently. Orgasmic Meditation has never felt like sex to me. It’s a deeper mental connection; most people I've OMed with have been friends.

Woman in flowing white clothing practicing mindful meditation in serene setting with soft natural lighting

My First Orgasmic Meditation

My first OM—Orgasmic Meditation was with a woman who had a lot of experience in the practice and made me feel safe and comfortable. During the session, I felt a shift in my body, and I was swept up in a wave of emotion that gave me a tremendous sense of release. Afterward, I was so tired that I went home to take a long nap. When I woke up, I felt great. I realized a lot had been brought up for me to process. The gravitas of the practice resonated with me and made me want to continue.

Orgasmic Meditation became a significant form of self-care, helping reduce my stress. There’s nothing quite like having fifteen minutes of attention entirely focused on my needs. In an OM, I don’t have to think about what I'm going to do for the other person, and I don’t have to worry if I’m good enough.

Expressing Desires

In an OM, I could express my thoughts and desires. I could ask the stroker for adjustments to make the stroking feel better, and I let my body respond in a way that felt comfortable, without fear of reproach or the other person wondering what I was doing. I especially like the grounding steps at the beginning and the end, when the stroker presses on my thighs. It gives me a sense of security and stability, and I feel nurtured.

Sometimes, I’ve taken the stroker role, producing a very different experience. I find it rewarding. The first time was with a woman already a close friend, and Orgasmic Meditation helped deepen our connection. She made a lot of adjustments, which were fine for me. I didn’t have performance anxiety, although I did want to give her a good experience, not just on my behalf but so she would appreciate Orgasmic Meditation, which we had spoken about so much. As the stroker, I stayed in my head initially but later was able to drop into my body to some extent, experiencing my sensations and connecting to hers. 

Peaceful meditating woman's light draped fabric, serene wellness moment captured in detail

Setting Boundaries

Early in my practice, I started dating Gale, an experienced OMer who had many OMs a week with various men. My Orgasmic Meditation practice became more frequent, but I still stuck to Orgasmic Meditation with women. I’m glad I set that boundary and stuck to it. Gale and I drifted apart when I realized she was more geared towards open relationships. However, as I diversified my friendship network, I started exploring open relationships myself. After seven years of that expansion and learning, I’ve returned to monogamy. 

Women, Confidence & OM

By learning to heighten the connection I experienced in Orgasmic Meditation, I’ve also developed deeper connections with people in daily life. When I meet someone, I can cut through the small talk and go straight to an exchange of truth and feeling. I don't have to resort to tricks to initiate intimacy. As I develop more confidence, I attract women who are also confident, strong, and stable. The confidence is like an Orgasmic Meditation nutrient that helps fill me up.

Related Experiences
From Numbness to Emotional Depth via OM
Orgasmic Meditation Validated My Emotional Experiences. It Helped Me Stop Fitting In And Consciously Create The Life I Want.
Mastering the Art of Attention
Orgasmic Meditation Taught Me The Power Of Attention. It Showed Me How To Be Present In Every Moment And Connect With Others.
A Path to Healing and Ending Suffering
My Healing Journey Led Me To Orgasmic Meditation, Which Helped Me Reconnect With My Body And Emotions.
From Sexual Shame to Empowerment
Sex Used To Be Surrounded By Shame For Me, But OM Helped Me Embrace My Sexuality And Feel Empowered In My Body.
Finding True Feminine Connection
Through OM, I Found The Feminine Connection I Had Been Seeking Since Childhood, Allowing Me To Be Close To Women In A New Way.

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