Before I tried Orgasmic Meditation for the first time, my marriage was ending, and I was so caught up in my job, my family, and my personal issues that I had lost all connection with my body. I would constantly fret about the future or obsess over the past, having nearly forgotten how to be present in the here and now. Orgasmic Meditation has given me access to a new sense of presence and contentment. It has improved my relationships emotionally and physically and rekindled my interest in physical and romantic relationships.
I had been with my husband for 23 years, but we hadn’t been intimate in nearly 3 years. We were co-parenting and living in the same house, but that was pretty much it. I missed both the emotional intimacy and the physicality of our connection. It had been so long, I guess, that I just sort of turned off, and as a result, I felt this numbing sense of disconnection with my own body. Meanwhile, I was hectically busy being a parent and a professional, but with nothing to really look forward to.
A friend of mine was trying OM—Orgasmic Meditation, and she suggested it might help me reconnect with my body. I thought it sounded incredibly strange and kind of crazy, but I was intrigued nonetheless. I truly believe that things come to you when you need them, so I was open to the idea that an OM practice could be helpful for me. I was nervous and skeptical the whole time, but I attended a training, and I started to become more convinced OM could be helpful for me. During the training and the explanations, the practice started to make more sense, and I began to see its potential.
Finally, I joined an Orgasmic Meditation group and found a partner for my first OM. I took some time looking for someone experienced and serious, and once I got past the initial nervousness of taking my trousers off in front of a stranger, I was able to focus on my breathing and my sensations in a way that felt very centering. My first OM partner was kind and patient, and we had a wonderful chat afterward. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a great first experience. And for the first time in a very long time, I was able to put everything else aside briefly – my job, my kids, my marriage – and just be present.
I kept up my Orgasmic Meditation - OM practice with sessions once or twice a week. I found that OM gave me access to a new sense of presence and a new awareness of my body. I remember the first time it really clicked. After my first few months of OMing, I had connected with a few stable, recurring partners. During this particular OM, I was in the nest, comfortable, and focusing my attention on my own sensations. I asked my partner to slow down so I could focus even more intently and be present with my sensations. I was so unconcerned with climax, utterly not focused on the idea of getting anywhere. I could stay where I was without hurrying on to the next thing or worrying about what had already happened.
That’s what I mean by presence. An immediacy, a sense of being here and now, truly in the present and nowhere else. It took some practice for me to get there, but once I did, having access to that sense of presence and that feeling of calm was incredibly helpful and valuable. I also noticed that my OM—Orgasmic Meditation practice—had very positive effects on other parts of my life. I started dating again and pursuing romantic and physical relationships. I found that I finally could connect with men—emotionally and physically—in a way I never had before.
The first man I got involved with after my marriage broke up was this cute guy I met on the Eurostar. I had just dropped my kids off with my ex, who lived in Belgium, and we’d had a massive row. After this big fight, I told myself the next time I met someone I fancied, I would do something about it. Whatever happened, I would let it happen. I wasn’t going to stop it. I had been OMing for a while and felt somewhat reconnected with my body. I felt ready.
And that very night, on the train back to England, I sat next to this cute guy. We talked the whole ride, all the way to London, and then he invited me back to his hotel room. I told him “no” that night, but eventually, we did meet up, and I felt very comfortable telling him what I needed and setting the terms of our interaction.
I really do believe that things come to you when you need them. For me, Orgasmic Meditation came to me at the time I needed it most. It was truly a godsend. Now, when I’m with someone, I can just be in me, really experiencing and enjoying myself without worrying too much. I feel confident making requests and expressing my preferences without being bossy, controlling, or feeling too self-conscious.
Of course, not everything is perfect. This past year has made OMing more difficult to arrange, and before that, I had paused my OM practice because I didn’t think the guy I was seeing would understand. But I’m hopeful that I will pick up my Orgasmic Meditation practice again soon. I miss the sense of presence and its grounding, centering effect. Orgasmic Meditation is also the one thing I have that’s just for me—not for my clients, my kids, or anyone else. It has taught me to present, not think about work, shopping, cooking, or being a mum. It is immensely valuable to me, to my relationships, and my well-being.
