Unleash the creative. Free the feminine. Heal the world.

How Orgasmic Meditation Taught Me to Really Listen

Published December, 2023
by David James Ray

Soothing blue textures, evoking the introspection and patience essential in learning to listen effectively.

The silverware clanking felt like hammers pounding on my head, adding to the ringing in my ears. I stared down at the menu through my hangover fog, unable to tell my parents why it had been so hard for me to get up for a 1 PM lunch. They were in town to celebrate my thirtieth birthday, and I didn’t get to see them often. I wanted to be present with them, but the L.A. party scene was doing a number on me.

I wished I were feeling healthy and aware instead of sitting there berating myself for causing the pain in my head and the blurriness of my mind. There was a sense of shame for continuing with my hamster wheel of behavior, which was now interfering with my ability to bond with my family.

Discovering Orgasmic Meditation

I had known for a while that I was outgrowing the party scene, all the drugs and drinking. I was tired of waking up every Sunday and feeling terrible. But that uncomfortable lunch with my parents was the turning point that made me decide thirty was the perfect age to slow this train down. 

That year, I said yes to everything, looking for a new way to connect with my life. That was when I discovered Orgasmic Meditation (OM).

Learning to Listen

With women, I used to get by on being fairly good-looking, but OM taught me how to connect to a woman and really listen to her. It felt really empowering for us to connect through OM. Being in a space that was not essentially sexual, I had permission to focus on my partner and listen to her body instead of worrying about how mine was performing. While I was stroking, I would notice her involuntary movements, and I'd notice the effect I was having if I changed speeds or switched from a downstroke to an upstroke.

It was so new to me. Before that, in any sexual encounters, I had just been using heavy pressure, and now I discovered I could be more gentle than I ever thought I was supposed to be. I liked feeling that subtlety in Orgasmic Meditation and how it translated to other aspects of my life. 

Textured blue waves resembling inner tranquility, aligning with the essence of learning to listen meditation.

Enhanced Sensitivity

A few weeks after I started OMing, I had an OM experience where I became totally tuned in to the spot of the highest sensation on my partner's genitals. I could feel a current connecting us, through my finger, through my whole body. As I went on stroking, I could feel the spot moving, and my finger followed it around. It was exhilarating to have that level of connection and sensitivity and to be able to offer by listening to what I felt and responding to it. 

Unexpected Parenthood

Then my girlfriend got pregnant after we'd been together for only three months. It sent me sideways. I had just opened a gym, my life was changing fast, and now I had to handle the prospect of raising a child. It was a really tough year for me. Luckily, Orgasmic Meditation gave me access to more of my feelings, which was a game changer. Connecting to my feelings and emotions through the practice gave me the foundation I needed. I had the feeling like nothing could throw me off, or if it did, a knowing that I'd make it through. 

Once my daughter was born, life smoothed out. I was more prepared to raise a child than I thought. Now, I find myself using a lot of subtle communication skills. Whenever I'm talking with someone, especially with my daughter, I try to check what I'm communicating at all times and all levels of abstraction. Am I coming from a place of love? Is what I'm about to say of the highest good for myself and the other person? A lot of that started with Orgasmic Meditation (OM), where I learned different modes of communication can be more important than factual knowledge. In my work as a health coach, it's helpful to be able to read someone's body and their nonverbal cues so I can figure out how to support them.

Serene blue abstract design embodying peacefulness, evoking a space for free meditation focused on listening.

The Power of Listening

My social relationships have changed, too. I talked with the landlord when I was getting ready to close the gym. This guy, Frank, was crotchety and didn't have much to talk about besides sports or weightlifting. One day, we were alone together in the break room, and I decided to find out about him. I started asking questions. He talked about his father, mother, kids, and fear. He spilled it all out, and I kept asking, "How'd that feel? How'd that go? What was that like for you?"

You could see him going inside himself to continue revealing more. It was not that different from the OM, where I followed around the spot with the highest sensation. I kept sensing which spot I wanted to be verbally stroked to open even further. I think I'm one of the privileged few who have seen Frank's depths. I'll never forget that beautiful moment or the presence I've cultivated through OM. 

I love being able to really listen to people and let them speak. It generates positive relationships with just about everyone. I get to touch a new depth with people and see them in a way I didn't know was possible before the practice of Orgasmic Meditation.

Related Experiences
Finding True Feminine Connection
Through OM, I Found The Feminine Connection I Had Been Seeking Since Childhood, Allowing Me To Be Close To Women In A New Way.
From Numbness to Emotional Depth via OM
Orgasmic Meditation Validated My Emotional Experiences. It Helped Me Stop Fitting In And Consciously Create The Life I Want.
OM Taught Me to Truly Understand Women
Orgasmic Meditation Helped Me Understand Women Better And Connect In More Meaningful Ways.
Unlocking My Intuition and True Potential
Orgasmic Meditation Shifted How I Use Intuition, From Pleasing Others To Being Fully Present In The Moment.
Finding Authentic Expression Through OM
OM Opened A Channel Between My Deepest Self And My Expression, Allowing Me To Stay True To Myself In Any Situation.

Sign Up and Join Us

Already have an account? Sign In
You must use your real name. You can read more in our Community Guidelines.
10 or more characters