Healing My Deepest Shame & Trauma

by Helen

I came to this practice in need of so much healing, particularly around my relationships with men. I’m 41 now, and I came to OM a few years ago – after nearly 20 years of experiencing objectification, contempt, catcalls, and many other hurtful things. 

Past Traumas

I experienced trauma ranging from severe to simply depressing. Sex brought up all of these feelings for me, but I could never find someone with whom to process those feelings safely.

When I went to an OM workshop, I wasn’t looking to change my life.  The reason I went was to meet men.

First OM Experience

I did meet a man during my first workshop. We didn’t have chemistry, but I felt comfortable and relaxed with him, and I could tell he felt the same with me. I tried OM with him, and from the time I crawled into the nest, I thought it was just about the most fascinating thing I’d ever encountered. I was intrigued – and more remarkably, for me, given all my anxieties and suspicions around anything to do with intimacy with men, I was relaxed.

I often would be hyper-aware that experiences with men weren’t ever exactly the way I wanted them to be.  The practice of OM shifted all that.  I could say stop when I wanted. I could ask for any change I liked and be sure I would get it.  This might not seem revolutionary to some people, but to me, it was a complete revelation.

Healing Beyond Therapy

Before OM, I was very big on trying new things. You name it; if I wanted to do it, I did it. I’ve had this big, amazing life, and I’ve had so many incredibly interesting experiences.  What I realized after trying OM was how passive I was during those experiences themselves.  I might go skydiving, for example, and enjoy it – but it never occurred to me that I could change the experience of skydiving. Whatever happened when I jumped out of the airplane was supposed to happen the way it happened.  I realized I could start going deeper and start developing a sense of what I wanted.  The practice helped me develop a tool for helping to ask for whatever it was I wanted.  I can enter into something and leave just as quickly, and I don’t have to endure anything in uncomfortable silence any longer.

I’ve done a lot of therapy over the years, as well as other healing modalities.  Don’t get me wrong; they’re all great and valuable.  The experience of this practice took healing to the next level.  It provided healing for my deepest shame and trauma, and it did so in a way that incorporated my whole body.  I couldn’t talk my way through this.  It’s like the difference between telling someone your neck hurts and going to the chiropractor for actual relief.  That’s what OM is like for me– an extremely safe, nurturing, enduringly healing chiropractic visit.

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