I’d been seeing this woman, Sophia. We’d been dating for three months when she went away on a business trip, and the day before she got back, I received a letter from her. This was ten years ago, but sending things via snail mail seemed unusual. It got my attention. In the letter, Sophia told me about this book she’d read. It was a book that talked about this practice called Orgasmic Meditation. Sophia was eager to discover what it was like adding, " You’re the one I want to try this with, Peter.
I still have that letter somewhere. And yes, when a woman you’re dating writes to you and says she’d like to try something like this with you, you don’t turn her down. I wasn’t sure about OM—Orgasmic Meditation for myself, but it didn’t seem like a bad thing to try. What have I got to lose? I concluded. There might be real potential here. Sophia and I had had a great, intimate life up to that point, but she had made it clear she didn’t climax. I suppose I’d just accepted that, especially when she’d reassured me that it wasn’t because of anything I was or wasn’t doing.
The first several times we OMed together were a bit of a mess. We weren’t using the right lube, so everything shifted after we got the correct lubricant and had our second training session. I could keep my finger where it needed to be, and we both started to feel the connection everyone had been talking about.
After a few weeks, it hit me that I had never listened to women as well as I was meant to. I had always considered myself considerate, but processing adjustments in the nest made me realize how often I hadn’t heard what my partners were trying to say to me. With Sophia and later in OMs with other women, this sense of connection and response to adjustments made me feel very powerful. Not in the sense that I had power over the woman I was with – but rather that we were, together, participating in something that could release extraordinary energy. I was both a witness and participant, like a violinist in a quartet who could hear the cellist playing the same tune.
One of the things I learned from Orgasmic Meditation was not to have so much attention on myself. Even the most sensitive and attuned men still make their enjoyment the center of attention. I could be so much more present when I let go of that. I learned that connection can have a beginning, a middle, and an end without being all about me. That was a powerful revelation, and it impacted more than just my intimate life. In so many other places, I’ve become less goal-oriented, less linear, and more connected. That connectedness shows up in every area of my life. That’s perhaps the most amazing thing about Orgasmic Meditation; it starts with shifting just one thing, and soon, your entire world is subtly transformed.
