Above all, the tumescent mind needs to know. If it doesn’t know, then it needs to look like it knows, or it needs to hide. The mechanics are an intermingling of tumescent priorities along with a discounting of the priorities of Eros. The tumescent mind is driven by the world of appearances. The lion’s share of energy is spent on presentation, on the question of, Can we “perform” as one who knows in an unassailable way? Knowing, for the most part, is measured by production within material reality. This is because our position depends on what we do, not who we are.
Eros lies between doing and being. It is based on the outflow of eudaimonia—the state of flourishing that arises when we act in accord with our nature—and how we are offering our unique and activated excellence.
Built into the very structure of the tumescent mind is failure: it must know at all costs what it cannot possibly know. This is because it thinks it must know, and there is no way to know without access to wisdom— the insight and intuition the body is moment-by-moment producing. A whole series of strategies must be put into place to maintain the appearance of knowing, or a whole series of disasters will occur.
We lose the nutrients of the tumescent mind—position, superiority, and the distance and separation this affords, along with the lack of necessary engagement with others. This is a real boon for the tumescent mind and what it considers freedom: the option to avoid needing, relying on, or depending on others. The tumescent mind enjoys bestowing or contributing, even rescuing, but it is humbled in receiving. Being humbled is something it will resist at all costs.